This is the script of my next video, to be uploaded this weekend. This is also the update to the situation of the fragments cover found at Hymn to Aphrodite, a bit like this post was an update to this one for the Iliad opening, and to all of this one. So let me get into the script!
Hi everyone! Ciao a tutti!
So today's video is gonna be a bunch of text interspersed with singing.
Allora, il video di oggi sarà un sacco di testo inframmezzato da canto.
Its star is the Sapphic stanza I composed and translated to use as a cover for my file of Sappho translations, which I then also adapted as part of the opening for my Sappho series on this channel.
La sua star è la strofa saffica che ho composto e tradotto per usarla come copertina del mio file di traduzioni di Saffo, e che poi ho anche adattato come parte della sigla per la mia serie su Saffo su questo canale.
The majority of the story will be told through on-screen text, with the history of the tune being sung. I am then going to sing the older versions of Greek and translations, from the latest high school Sappho file, as well as their recent updates.
La maggior parte della sua storia sarà raccontata con testo sullo schermo, con la storia della melodia che viene cantata. Canterò poi le versioni più vecchie di greco e traduzioni, che vengono dal file più recente dei tempi del liceo, e poi anche gli aggiornamenti recenti.
So make yourselves comfortable and enjoy the ride!
Quindi mettetevi comodi e buon viaggio!
Diarius, 9/8/10:
Film terminato in lect. Ibi cogito titulo fragmentorum Sapphus uti versu Alcæi Ἰόπλοκ' ἄγνα μελλιχόμειδε Σάπφοι, addens ad eum finem strophæ
Having finished the film [I go] to bed. There I think of using the Alcaeus line Ἰόπλοκ' ἄγνα μελλιχόμειδε Σάπφοι as a title for the Sappho fragments, adding to it the end of a stanza
Finito il film [vado] a letto. Lì penso di usare il verso di Alceo Ἰόπλοκ' ἄγνα μελλιχόμειδε Σάπφοι come titolo per i frammenti di Saffo, aggiungendovi la fine di una strofa
Ἰόπλοκ' ἄγνα μελλιχόμειδε Σάπφοι
Ἄμμι ἐν ποήμασι σοῖσι ὄττι
Γράψαι ἤθελες, γ' ἐθέλω λαβέσθαι
<Νῦν ἔγ' ἐμαύτῳ.>
Vertere conans nil concludo.
Trying to translate [it] I conclude nothing.
Tentando di tradur[la] non concludo niente.
Diarius, 14/8/10:
Inde destor […] ~9:41, cum composuerim:
Then I am awoken […] around 9:41am, after I composed:
Poi vengo svegliato […] alle 9:41 circa, dopo aver composto:
Violet-haired, pure, honey-smiling Sappho,
What in your fragments/poems you wanted to write
To us, I want to understand, o Sappho,
And translate right.
et originalem ab hac traductione mutarim:
and changed the original from this translation:
e cambiato l'originale a partire da questa traduzione:
…Γράψαι ἤθελες, γ' ἐθέλω λάβων ὄρ-
θῶς μετατρέψαι.
Scribens antea poemata scribo me antea cogitasse ponere, pro μετατρέψαι, μετάγεσθαι, et tunc demum, meminens me vidisse in Βικιθήκη "μετάφραση Βενιζέλου" et "μετάφραση Αλεξάνδρου Πάλλη", velle μεταφράζην ponere.
Writing [my] poems earlier, I write that, at first, I thought of putting μετάγεσθαι in the place of μετατρέψαι, and then finally, remembering I saw "μετάφραση Βενιζέλου" and "μετάφραση Αλεξάνδρου Πάλλη" on Greek Wikisource, I want to put μεταφράζην.
Scrivendo prima [le mie] poesie, scrivo che dapprima ho pensato di mettere, invece di μετατρέψαι, μετάγεσθαι, e allora infine, ricordando di aver visto "μετάφραση Βενιζέλου" e "μετάφραση Αλεξάνδρου Πάλλη" sul Wikisource Greco, voglio metterci μεταφράζην.
That change gets lost to the diary, and only resurfaces on 5/6/22 in the Hymn to Aphrodite post.
Quel cambiamento si perde nel diario, e riaffiora solo il 5/6/22 nel post dell'Inno ad Afrodite.
Corpus Poematum Meorum, volumne 7, 28/9/10 17:44 modificatum, 19/9/10 11:47 creatum:
Die inde Septembri XVII copertinam paro fragmentorum, et Italice verto
Then on Sep 17 I prepare the cover of the fragments, and translate [it] to Italian
Poi il 17/9 preparo la copertina dei frammenti, e [la] traduco in Italiano
Viole 'n la chioma, miele nel sorriso,
O pura Saffo, quello c'hai inteso
Nei tuoi poemi scriver, vo' capire
E ben ridire.
Manuscriptum:
Inque risu mel, violasque comā,
Pura Sappho, quæ caner' advolebas -> Pūră Sāpph', hăbēs, cănĕr' āc vŏlēbās
[Qu']In poesiis, cupi'ipse capta
Vertere recte.
Copertina_framm_Saffo, file 17/9/10 17:02 creatum et 2/11/10 20:28 modificatum:
Īnquĕ rīsū mēl, vĭŏlās cŏmāquĕ,
Pūră Sāpph', hăbēs, cănĕr' āc vŏlēbās
Īn pŏēsĭīs, cŭpĭ' īpsĕ cāptă
Vērtĕrĕ rēctē.
Printout used from mid-Sep 2010 to mid-Dec 2010:
Stampa dei frammenti usata tra metà Settembre 2010 e metà Dicembre 2010:
[Overlayed on image of cover there, with manuscripted changes comaque->capillis and In poesiis -> Qu' in poesiis. That's top of screen, bottom:]
Changes were lost with the next printout.
Modifiche perse colla stampa successiva.
Much later, between 1/2/11 and 17/5/11:
Molto più tardi, tra 1/2/11 e 17/5/11:
Īntŭ' rīsū mēl, vĭŏlās căpīllīs.
Pūră Sāpph', hăbēs, cănĕr' āc vŏlēbās
Qu' īn pŏēsĭīs, cŭpĭ' īpsĕ cāptă
Vērtĕrĕ rēctē.
[Shot of flipping through SP7, the latest printout, which has the versions found in the latest Sappho fragments file (S19)]
[Perform old versions.]
Tesina, tra (between) 15/6/12 & 20/6/12:
[…]
Γράψαι ἤθελες, τὰ θέλω λάβων ὄρ-
θῶς μετατρέψαι.
[…]
Qu' īn pŏēsĭīs, vŏlŏ īpsĕ cāptă
Both changes were lost to the tesina. Greek change resurfaced 10/10/21 in Hymn post, and Latin one was therein rejected as inmetrical.
Ambedue le modifiche si son perse nella tesina. La Greca è riaffiorata il 10/10/21 nel post dell'Inno, e la Latina è ivi stata rifiutata in quanto inmetrica.
Tune | Melodia
AC A FF CC CC C E DD A DD CC
Ἰόπλοκ' ἄγνα μελλιχόμειδε Σάπφοι,
17/4/23 23:11.
FF C AA CC FG F C DC Bb DD C
Ἄμμιν ἐν ποήμασι σοῖσιν ὄττι
23:14.
FF C EF D CC
Γράψαι ἤθελες,
18/4/23 16:19
A C DD -> A E DD -> A F DD
τὰ θέλω
16:22.
F CC FF DD C Bb CC AA
λάβων ὄρθως μεταφράσδην.
16:23.
6/5/23:
[Show performance from Epigrams vid.]
Thoughts (Pensieri), 18/4/23 22:16:
Maybe more than "translating correctly" it is more important to "translate well/beautifully": ὄρθως->κάλως
Forse piuttosto che "tradurre correttamente" è più importante "tradurre bene/in modo bello": ὄρθως->κάλως
Ammin en poemasi
AA F AA C FG F C ->
CC F AA C...
10/5/23 15:43, tweak (modifichetta).
Musical translation | Traduzione musicale
Saffo dal mellifluo sorriso, pura,
10/5/23 23:13.
Chioma di vïole, ciò che tu dire
23:15.
Nelle poesïe volevi -> Nelle poësie ci volevi, (io) voglio
23:15.
Thought: How to fit [all the Greek]?
Pensiero: Come ci faccio stare [tutto il greco]?
Ci volevi nelle poesie, capire
Vo' e ben tradurre.
11/5/23 13:55
Thought, 18/8/23 12:26:
right->well, of course, so… write->tell for rhyme…
right->well, ovviamente, quindi… write->tell per la rima…
Violet-haired, pure, honey-smiling Sappho,
What in your poems you wanted to tell
Us all I want to understand, o Sappho,
And translate well.
Thuoght: can I make a quick fix to the Latin? Of course! And thus, the Latin is there, with recte->pulchre being the quick fix from 19/8/23 20:09
Pensiero: aggiustata veloce al Latino, si può? Sicuro! Ecco dunque il Latino, con recte->pulchre come aggiustatina del 19/8/23 20:09
Thought: But the English is non-musical! What can I do about that?
Pensiero: Ma l'Inglese non è musicale! Che posso farci?
Musical retranslation | Ritraduzione musicale
Honey-smiling, violet-haired, pure Sappho,
29/1/24 19:27, not msg.
What your poems …
19:28.
Everything you wrote to us in your poems,
19:28.
I would like to properly understand and
Beautif'lly translate.
19:29.
[Perform final versions.]
Before I give you the versions, though, I have some additions. First off, the Sicilian one, which I creadted for my Sicilian Sappho anthology, or rather for the associated YT series, starting with «Saffo ṙû suřřisu ṙi mèli, pura» (11/4/24 17:20), then reworking and completing at 19:10-19:20. For completeness' sake, here is what I wrote about it in the anthology itself.
Accuminzai cu «Saffo ṙû suřřisu ṙi mèli, pura» (11/4/24 17:20), poi ripresi ê 19:10 cu «Saffi cû suřřisu ṙi mèli, china / Ṙi viuletti», ca subbitu divintau «china 'i / Violi ntê capiđđi, tu aṛma pura,», poi «Saffu cû suřřisu ṙi mèli, aṛma / Mmaculata,» (19:11) e «Saffo cû suřřisu ṙi mèli, pura, / Chî capiđđi 'i violi/viola, zoccu tu ṙiri» (19:17 - ci nni misi ṙû tempu pi ařřivari ccà!). A stu puntu passai ô versu ṙoppu, «Nni vulivi ntê tò puisìi, capiri» (19:17), chi accurzai accussì: «Ntê puisìi vulivi, capiri vogghiu / E beni třadùçiri.» (19:17). Ṙiçisi poi ca vulia u plurali «violi» (19:18), nun u singulari «viola», e accussì ařřivai a:
Saffu cû suřřisu ṙi mèli, pura,
Chî capiđđi 'i violi, zoccu tu ṙiri
Ntê puisìi vulivi, capiri vogghiu e
Beni třadùçiri.
Nfini vosi mèttiri "pura" cchiù indietřu ntô primu versu, «Saffu pura cu nu suřřisu 'i mèli,» (19:19), e canciari lu sicunnu picchì iniziassi cu «E capiđđi 'i violi» (19:20), et voilà.
Translation:
I started with «Saffo ṙû suřřisu ṙi mèli, pura» (11/4/24 17:20), then came back at 19:10 with «Saffi cû suřřisu ṙi mèli, china / Ṙi viuletti», which right away turned into «china 'i / Violi ntê capiđđi, tu aṛma pura,», then «Saffu cû suřřisu ṙi mèli, aṛma / Mmaculata,» (19:11) and «Saffo cû suřřisu ṙi mèli, pura, / Chî capiđđi 'i violi/viola, zoccu tu ṙiri» (19:17 - took quite some time to get here!). At this point I moved on the the next line, «Nni vulivi ntê tò puisìi, capiri» (19:17), which I shortened thus: «Ntê puisìi vulivi, capiri vogghiu / E beni třadùçiri.» (19:17). I then decided I wanted the plural «violi» (19:18), not the singular «viola», and thus I came to [the version above]. Finally, I wanted to put "pura" further back in l. 1, «Saffu pura cu nu suřřisu 'i mèli,» (19:19), and change l. 2 so it started with «E capiđđi 'i violi» (19:20), et voilà.
Then I had the idea of Sicilian-English and Sicilian-Latin crossover episodes, and 3-translation crossovers. For each of these, I wanted a special opening. So along with the Sicilian, I had to include one or two more versions. This meant extra voices. For Greek-Sicilian-X (X being Latin or English), I devised a third voice on 18/4/24 at 16:45-17:08, which would be used to sing the Latin or the English. Then for the fourth voice, I went for a countermelody, and composed it up to "Pura" in the below score at 19:08-19:30 on 18/4/24, and completed it at 23:43-0:04 that same day. So here is the score of the 4-voice thing as it came out that night:
But the "Intu' risu" didn't really ever sit very well with me. So on 23/5/24 at 9:10 I started a remake: «In capillis tu violasque, melque / Risu habes, Sappho,», then «Risu habesque, dicere quae volebas / In poesiis, velim ipse capta vertere pulchre.» (9:12), «velim ipse pulchre / Vertere, Sappho» (9:12), and finally «velim ipse, Sappho, / Vertere pulchre» (9:13), tweaked to «Risu habesque, et dicere quae volebas» at 22:05 upon noticing a -que without a matching et. Alright, so now, 25/5/24 16:11, I have to adapt this to the fourth voice. And at 16:19 I sum up the result below, and have the following quadrilingual score:
The last thing to note is that, at 16:32 on 2/7/24, I finalized the idea that having Sapphō in the non-fourth-voice Latin didn't sit well with me, because it forced me to shorten the ō or it wouldn't line up with the other voices. Hence, I moved it to the fourth voice, robbing that one of the capta. So from Sapphō in third voice and capta in fourth voice, I went to the opposite, as per below.
But then I have a Japanese, a Chinese, and a German series to deal with, not to mention a Romagnolo one. So I need versions of the cover for all of them.
The latter two are the simplest, because just do barbarous meter versions. The history of the Romagnolo goes thus: «Bëla Saffo cun 'e surìș ad mél / E i cavèll 'd viulètt, quell ch' t avlìva diř / Int'al tu frãmmęt,» (21:24), «me a vrèbb capiř->capi'-l / Par tradùș-al bę.» (21:26), «i frãmmęt though, or maybe al puisèj» (21:27), and finally «me a-l avrèbb capiř e tra- / dușar par bę» (21:28), all on 21/11/24. And that same evening, still sitting on the toilet, I do the German: «Sappho, honiglächelnde reine Sappho / Mit» (22:33), «Violettenhaarige, was du schreiben / In den Dichten möchten, möcht' ich versteh'n und / Gut übersetzen.» (22:35), «Mit Gedichten» (22:37), «wolltest» (22:37), summing up to «Sappho, honiglächelnde reine Sappho / Violettenhaarige, was du schreiben / Mit Gedichten wolltest, möcht' ich versteh'n und / Gut übersetzen.» at 22:41, then not being convinced with the Gut and tweaking it to Schön at 23:00.
Between these two, though, I dealt with the others. So, the Chinese was dealt with at 22:23, in one fell swoop. But the Japanese? It had to be chôka, of course. And the story goes: «スミレ髪、 / 蜂蜜笑顔、» (21:53), «純正な / 心のある / サッフォーよ、» (21:58, or probs. ≤21:57), so "pure" becomes "pure-hearted", then «あなたの詩で» (22:05), «書いたこと» (22:06), «よく理解して» (22:09), and by 22:11 I have a complete version «スミレ髪、 / 蜂蜜笑顔、 / 純正な / 心のある / サッフォーよ、 / あなたの詩で / 書いたこと / よく理解して / 日本語へ-＞の», OK no it's not complete, it's missing «典雅な長歌 / 言うのは願い» (22:16), where «I actually finished the last line while figuring out tenga from Google translations of refined» (22:17).
Then I decided to do Standard Sappho selection for Greek and Spanish as well, so there will eventually be a Spanish version (there isn't as of 21/12/24), and on 12/12/24 13:05-13:14 I made the Greek one, where "barbarous meter" seems like a contradiction, and yet :).
But what about the music? Well, German and Romagnolo are barbarous meter, so they just go into one of the parallel voices. Chinese can do either, as evidenced in the openings in the bonus to the 1/12/24 video. The Japanese, though, was a bit long. So I used the tune of voice 4, but added a bit at the beginning:
High school files
Ἰόπλοκ' ἄγνα μελλιχόμειδε Σάπφοι, Ἄμμιν ἐν ποήμασι σοῖσιν ὄττι Γράψαι ἤθελες, 'γ' ἐθέλω λάβων ὄρ- θως μετάτρεψαι. Viole 'n la chioma, miele nel sorriso, O pura Saffo, quello c'hai inteso Nei tuoi poemi scriver, vo' capire E ben ridire. |
Īntŭ’ rīsū mēl, vĭŏlās căpīllīs, Pūră Sāpph', hăbēs, cănĕr' āc vŏlēbās Qu’ īn pŏēsĭīs, cŭpĭ' īpsĕ cāptă Vērtĕrĕ rēctē. Violet-haired, pure, honey-smiling Sappho, What in your poems you wanted to write To us I want to understand, o Sappho, And translate right. |
Recent updates
Ἰόπλοκ' ἄγνα μελλιχόμειδε Σάπφοι, Ἄμμιν ἐν ποήμασι σοῖσιν ὄττι Γράψαι ἤθελες, τὰ θέλω λάβων κά- λως μεταφράσδην. Saffo dal mellifluo sorriso, pura, Chioma di vïole, ciò che tu dire Ci volevi nelle poesie, capire Vo' e ben tradurre. Saffu pura cu nu suřřisu 'i mèli, E capiđđi 'i violi, zoccu tu ṙiri Ntê puisìi vulivi, capiri vogghiu e Beni třadùçiri. Ō, intu’ rīsū melque, violās capillīs, Pūra Sapphō, habēs, caner' ac volēbās Quæ in poēsiīs, cupiō ipse capta Vertere pulchrē. Sappho, honiglächelnde reine Sappho, Violettenhaarige, was du schreiben Mit Gedichten wolltest, möcht' ich versteh'n und Schön übersetzen. 甜蜜的微笑，菫菜的头发， 纯粹的萨福，你的诗歌里 想要说什么？我想要明白 也想好好来翻译。 スミレ髪、 蜂蜜笑顔、 純正な 心のある サッフォーよ、 あなたの詩で 書いたこと よく理解して 日本語の 典雅な長歌 言うのは願い Ω Σαπφώ με μαύρα μαλλιά, 'σύ αγνή Που χαμογελάς γλυκερά, τα όλα Πού 'γραψες, καλά να τα καταλάβω Και μεταφράσω! |
Intu’ rīsū mel, violās capillīs, Pūra Sapphō, habēs, caner' ac volēbās Quæ in poēsiīs, cupiō capta ego Vertere pulchrē. Honey-smiling, violet-haired, pure Sappho, Everything you wrote to us in your poems, I would like to properly understand and Beautif'lly translate. In capillīs tū violāsque, melque Rīsū habēsque, et dīcere quae volēbās In poēsiīs, velim ipse capta Vertere pulchrē. Ō, in capillīs tū violāsque, melque Rīsū habēs, dīcere quæ volēbās tuīs In poēsiīs, cupiō, Sapphō, ego Vertere pulchrē. Bëla Saffo cun 'e surìṣ ad mél E i cavèll 'd viulètt, quell ch' t avlìva di' Int al tu puisèi, mè a-l avrèbb capi' e tra- duṣar par bẽ. Tiánmì de wéixiào, jǐncài de tóufǎ, Chúncuì de Sèfú, nǐ de shīgē lǐ Xiǎngyào shuō shénme? Wǒ xiǎngyào míngbái Yě xiǎng hǎohǎo lái fānyì. Sumire-kami, Hachimitsu egao, Junsêna Kokoro no aru Saffō yo, Anata no uta de Kaita koto Yoku rikai shite Nihongo no Tengana chôka Iu no wa negai. い Ō Sapfṓ me máv̆ra malliá, 'sý agní̱ Poy khamogelás glykerá, ta óla Poý 'grafes, kalá na ta katalávō Kä metafrásō! |
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