Saturday, 30 March 2019

Silently crying at dusk

Last Deng Lijun song from our grief series today, again from this video (1:03:19-1:05:58): 黄昏里 | Huánghūn lǐ, "At dusk". I started the English translation in the night between 17/2/19 and 18/2, and translated 3 lines, and then finished the whole thing on 21/2. Before we see the result, however, there are a couple of text issues I want to point out. Feel free to skip the bulleted list if you aren't interested - but read at least item 7, because it gives a translation of an alternate version. Note: video 1, video 2, video 3.
  • In l. 2, video 3 has 斜阳 in at least one repetition, but both other videos definitely have 夕阳, which is what I went with;
  • Video 2 has l. 3 as 犹相系, “still relates itself”, which sounds like BS in and of itself, and plus, we’re talking about dusk and 又向西 means “heads west again”, so that is definitely the right spelling;
  • Video 3 writes 教 where the others write 叫 in l. 4, but a causative is way more fitting than “teach” IMO: how would the setting sun “teach” her to remember whomever the song is addressed to?
  • Video 2 writes 心坎, but all videos seem to have 心海, and video 3 definitely has that, so that’s what I went for;
  • There are some oscillations on the number of 你s and 我s where there are many, but the audio seems to always give 3 on l. 1 of the choruses and 2 on l. 3, so that’s what I went for;
  • 你把我忘记 vs. 已把我忘记, the former seems to be captions-only and not cross-video, so the latter is my choice;
  • 时常 vs. 时刻 in all choruses: video 2 has 时刻 in the captions, other videos caption 时常, all of them seem to have shichang/shicang most often, though I think I heard at least one instance of shike; going for 时常 anyway, though it’s harder to sing at speed; I did translate both versions for chorus 1 though, and the 时刻 version reads «Well you know I / During twilight constantly;
  • In chorus 2, all videos seem to have 斜阳, which agrees with the captions only in video 3, while the others read 夕阳; going for 斜阳.
With that out of the way, here we go!





* Huánghūn lǐ
Nà yī mǒ xīyáng
Yòu xiàng xī
Mòmò de jiào wǒ xiǎngqǐ nǐ
Nǐ nà tiánmì xiàoyǔ
Wúxiàn de guānhuái
Hái chōngmǎnzhe àiyì
Dàngyàng zài xīnhǎi lǐ

Zhǐshì nǐ nǐ nǐ
Nǐ zài nǎlǐ?
Nándào nǐ nǐ
Yǐ bǎ wǒ wàngjì
Kě zhīdào wǒ
Shícháng zài nà huánghūn lǐ
Xiǎngqǐ nǐ
Qiāoqiāo de kūqì


# Wèihé wǒ wǒ wǒ
Zhème chīmí?
Wèihé wǒ wǒ
Nán bǎ nǐ wàngjì?
Kě zhīdào wǒ
Shícháng zài zhè xiéyáng lǐ
Pànwàng nǐ
Zài ràng wǒ ài nǐ


* Twilight's here
The setting sun
Doth disappear
That makes you in my thoughts appear
The sweet funny words,
You said to me…
And boundless concern
Still full of love so deep
With great waves my heart doth sweep

But now you you you
Where are you, baby?
Maybe you you
Do not remember me?
Well you know that
During dusk quite often I
Think of you
And quietly cry


# Why am I I I
In love so hopelessly?
Why can I I
Just not forget thee?
Well you know I
Oft at sunset think of you
And wish you'd come
And make me love you


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