Welp, this post has switched its title language from Spanish (Manto de azucenas) to Italian (Manto di gigli) and finally English, this despite there being like one single line of English. So, what song is this about? Manto de açucenas, which I met at least all the way back in 2011, but only translated rather recently, finding out it was about a procession in the process. So, translations:
- First thing I did was the Greek; I started from that, instead of Spanish or Italian, because with those two I typically expect to save the rhymes by using similar words, and with "andor" that wouldn't be possible; let's hear IAFI about this though: 「 After asking Kika how to render "andor", on 6/12/22 I start translating this to Greek, doing the chorus 17:57-18:24. 18:29-19:08 I do the first verse (both sections), and the rest is from 22:18-22:42. Kika and I correct starting that night, going on throughout 7/12 and into its night. [Version below with l. 1 «Στο άρμα ενώ πατούν ελαφρά,»] Seeing Flora40's poetic translation and its Στ' άρμα, at 2:18 on 25/12/22 I think maybe I should do «Να, στ' αρμα ενώ πατούν ελαφρά Xmas». I'll investigate what Kika thinks about this.」; at 22:05 on 31/3/23, I change της ζωής μας -> στην ζωή μας in the third-to-last line of the chorus; as I cut the Greek-Italian video on 1/4/23, I notice «Των λυπημένων όλων, αναζητώντας» doesn't align with what I implemented into the Italian, so I change it to «Αυτών που ζουν στην λύπη αναζητώντας» at 15:29;
- Then we have Spanish; IAFI: 「 Thinking about the post, I realize I need something to side with the original, so I go with Spanish. On 7/12/22 at 17:53-17:54, I try with scarce success to do verse 1 section 1. At 19:33 I find myself once again impeded by that stupid change of conjugation in "vivir", which screws up the rhyme viver-proteger, while the other rhyme of verse 1 section 2 is fine. So far, I thus have: / / Se posan levemente en el paso / Los pies de la Virgen Madre, y nos recuerdan / Las palomas tan amadas del Señor / En un manto imacolado de azucenas. / / Y por el mundo se van caminando / En esta doce misión de protegir / Quien vive tristemente, y buscando / La forma más humana de vivir. / / At 20:44, I think of fixing one rhyme of section 1 with «Posándose en el paso delicados,» and «En un manto de azucenas imaculado.», wondering how the heck I'm gonna deal with l. 1 having the feet and the Mother Virgin. And I kinda don't, since the latter ended up squeezed into verse 2. Anyway, at 23:44-0:10 I finally finish the translation, with some tweaks 14:31 the next day, and one correction imaculado->inmaculado as I send it to MdH, whose corrections I am still awaiting.」; at 13:53 on 10/5/23, María finally sends her corrections, and we discuss them, reaching the below final version within 15:12; I also thought of the following alternate "verse 1 half 2", but she said she'd rather not rephrase too much: «Y por el mundo se va caminando / En su dulce misión de protección / Del que vive tristemente, y buscando / De (la) vida más humana una ocasión/visión/rincón.», «Y por el mundo se va caminando / En su dulce misión de protección / Del que vive tristemente, y buscando / De nuestra humana vida la perfección»; as I cut the video of Spanish and English at 13:34 on 20/5/23, I think of changing "y buscando" to "y va buscando", both for interpretation reasons and to avoid the hiatus tristemente-y;
- Then we have that single line of English; again, IAFI: 「 8/12/22 14:15, to side it with the Italian I was thinking of doing, I think of doing an English version, and do one line: «And makes us teel the pain of our own sinning,».」; I guess I'll figure this out eventually, and do Spanish+English in a video; this weekend the video is Greek+Italian;
I take this up again on 4/5/23, thinking of doing Spanish+English within this month which is "Virgin Mary month", and basically I do the whole translation, in two lots (16:54-17:21 and 19:30-19:56), discarding that one line I'd already done; at 12:11 on recording day, as I record, I change "So those who don't believe" to "Even those"; about 1min later I think of changing goodness to tenderness, but I soon discard that change; as I cut the video, I focus on «those who do live in sadness, always looking»; first, at 12:27, I make that «all those who live»; at 13:36, analogously to the 13:34 Spanish tweak, I think of «And <goes/is> looking»; of course, that needs to be plural; make it «and are looking», 13:56; in the meantime, at 12:47, I thought of changing «life we're living» with «life we're leading», but I'm not sold on that; at 10:44:~30 on 25/5/23, as I watch this with my physiotherapist, I think of changing «To those who look, a smile her face doth show» to «To those who look, a smile her face will show» to avoid the archaism; - Ah yes, the Italian; after having it on my mind for a while, as a side to the English that was still only at one line, I finally got around to it; IAFI still isn't complete about it, and ever will: 「After having it in mind for quite a while, on 23/3/23 I finally get around to starting this, and between 19:19 and 20:05 I do almost the whole thing, the "andor" lines being the only unsolved problems as I place this here on 25/3/23. Here is what I have:」, and what I have is essentially the version below, except l. 2 has the options «I piedi suoi ricordano un po' Nel loro appoggiarsi / Nel lor poggiarsi a terra delicati (losing the andor) / Posandosi sul rialzo delicati (Badly rendering it)», and the other line with "andor" has «Della tua portantina al camminar / Della lettiga al dolce camminar,»; to complete the history, late on 29/3/23 and going on into 30/3, I finally solve the "andor" problem, and also think that maybe "procurando" is referred to "quem vive tristemente" rather than the Virgin, coming up with the variant «Chi è nella tristezza e va cercando -> Chi vive tristemente e va cercando.»… oh well, that was the following morning at 10:28; on 31/3/23 I decide to keep "e va cercando", because I'm rather persuaded that the one looking for a human way to live is the sad person, not the Virgin; so before posting this that night, I change "ricercando" to "e va cercando" below.
Pousando levemente no andor Os pés da Virgem Mãe lembram apenas As pombas tão amadas do Senhor Num manto imaculado de açucenas E vão p'lo mundo fora caminhando Nessa doce missão de proteger Quem vive tristemente, procurando A forma mais humana de viver Refrão: Senhora Teu sorriso magoado Acorda a nossa alma adormecida E faz sentir a dor de ter pecado De todas a maior da nossa vida Senhora Teu sorriso magoado Acorda a nossa alma adormecida E todo protecção e caridade Seu rosto vai sorrindo a quem o vê Num gesto de carinho e de bondade Tocando mesmo aquele que não crê E leves vão batendo Tuas contas Ao doce caminhar do teu andor E em cada uma delas Tu descontas As contas que devemos ao Senhor Refrão Να, στ' άρμα ενώ πατούν ελαφρά, Τα πόδια της Παναγιάς ομοιάζουν λίγο Τα περιστέρια του Κυρίου τα αγαπητά Εις ένα άσπιλο μανδύα κρίνων. Και βγαίνουν εις τον κόσμο περπατώντας Στο καθήκον αυτό γλυκό της προάσπισης Αυτών που ζουν στην λύπη αναζητώντας Το είδος το πιο ανθρώπινο της ζωής. Επωδός· Κυρία, το χαμόγελο σου λυπημένο Το πνεύμα μας ξυπνά το κοιμισμένο, Μας κάνει να νιώθουμε της αμαρτίας Την λύπη, την πιο μεγάλη στην ζωή μας. Κυρία, το χαμόγελο σου λυπημένο Το πνεύμα μας ξυπνά το κοιμισμένο. Κι όλο μια προάσπιση και μια φιλανθρωπία, Το πρόσωπο της γελαστό θωρεί, Σε στοργής και καλοσύνης χειρονομία, Κι αυτούς που δεν πιστεύουν, τους συγκινεί. Κι οι χάντρες, ελαφρά αυτές χτυπιούνται Στο βήμα του άρματος πολύ γλυκό, Σε κάποια χάντρα, να, προεξοφλούνται Τα χρέη που χρωστάμε στον Κύρϊο. Επωδός As on the paso delicately The Virgin Mary treads, her feet resemble The doves loved by the Lord affectionately Of snow-white lilies on a spotless mantle. And out into the world they go a-walking, In this sweet mission to keep watch upon All those do live in sadness and are looking For the most human way they can live on. Chorus: O Lady, your sweet visage, sadly smiling, Our sleeping souls from slumber is awaking. The sorrow of our sins it gets us feeling, The greatest sorrow in this life we're living. O Lady, your sweet visage, sadly smiling, Our sleeping souls from slumber is awaking. And full of charity and of protection, To those who look, a smile her face will show, In a gesture of goodness and affection, Even those who don't believe her love will know The beads, upon each other lightly beating With the gentle movement of your paso go, In each of them our debts you are reducing, Each of the debts that to the Lord we owe. Chorus |
Sus pies nos recuerdan a nos,
Posando sobre la anda delicados, Las palomas tan amadas del Señor En un manto de azucenas imaculado. Y por el mundo se va caminando La Virgen en su misión de proteger Quien vive tristemente, y buscando La vida más humana que tener. Estribillo: Señora, tu sonriso lastimado Acuerda nuestra alma adormecida, Dándonos el dolor de haber pecado, De todos el mayor de nuestra vida. Señora, tu sonriso lastimado Acuerda nuestra alma adormecida. Y, todo protección y caridad, Su rostro va sonriendo a quien lo ve, En un gesto de cariño y de bondad, Tocando hasta a aquel que no cree Y leves van golpeando tus cuentas De tu anda en el camino encantador; Y en cada una de ellas tu descontas Las cuentas que devemos al Señor. Estr.
Sus pies nos recuerdan los dos,
Posando sobre las andas delicados, Las palomas tan amadas del Señor En un manto de azucenas inmaculado. Y por el mundo se van caminando En su dulce misión de amparar Quien vive tristemente, y va buscando La vida más humana que llevar. Estribillo: Señora, tu sonreír así lastimado Despierta nuestra alma adormecida, Dándonos el dolor de haber pecado, De todos el mayor de nuestra vida. Señora, tu sonreír así lastimado Despierta nuestra alma adormecida. Y, todo protección y caridad, Su rostro va sonriendo a quien lo ve, En un gesto de cariño y de bondad, Tocando incluso al que no tiene fe Y leves van golpeando tus cuentas De tu anda en el camino encantador; Y en cada una de ellas tu descuentas Las cuentas que debemos al Señor. Estr. Na, st' árma enṓ patoýn elafrá, Ta pódia ti̱s Panagiás omöázoyn lígo Ta peristéria toy Kyríoy ta agapi̱tá Ës éna áspilo mandýa krínōn. Kä vgä́noyn ës ton kósmo perpatṓntas Sto kathí̱kon af̆tó glykó ti̱s proáspi̱si̱s Af̆tṓn poy zoyn sti̱n lýpi̱ anazi̱tṓntas To ë́dos to pio anthrṓpino ti̱s zōí̱s. Epōdós: Kyría, to khamógelo soy lypi̱méno To pnév̆ma mas xypná to kömisméno, Mas kánë na niṓthoyme ti̱s amartías Ti̱n lýpi̱, ti̱n pio megáli̱ sti̱n zōí̱ mas. Kyría, to khamógelo soy lypi̱méno To pnév̆ma mas xypná to kömisméno, Ki ólo mia proáspisi̱ kä mia filanthrōpía, To prósōpó ti̱s gelastó thōrë́, Se storgí̱s kä kalosýni̱s khëronomía, Ki af̆toýs poy den pistév̆oyn, toys sygkinë́. Ki ö khántres, elafrá af̆tés khtypioýntä Sto ví̱ma toy ármatos polý glykó, Se kápöa khántra, na, proexofloýntä Ta khréi̱ poy khrōstáme ston Kýrïo. Epōdós I piedi suoi ricordano un po' Sulla portantina lievemente posati, Le colombe tanto amate del Signor Su un manto di gigli bianchi immacolati. E vanno per il mondo camminando Nella dolce mission di custodir Chi è nella tristezza e va cercando La vita più umana da seguir. Rit. Signora, il tuo sorriso addolorato Risveglia la nostra anima assopita, Le fa sentir dolor di aver peccato, Il dolor più grande della nostra vita. Signora, il tuo sorriso addolorato Risveglia la nostra anima assopita. E tutto protezione e carità, Il volto tuo sorride a chi lo vede, In un gesto di amore e di bontà, Toccando anche quello che non crede. I grani tuoi tintinnan delicati Della tua portantina al camminar, Ed in ciascuno di essi son scontati I conti che col Signor dobbiam saldar. Rit. |
