A sad moon

We join our moonlight theme with some of the sadness from the parting songs before this theme started and get "With how sad steps, o moon", a sonnet by Sir Philip Sydney (finally a poem I can understand in the original, you will say :) ), which I translated into a sonnet in Italian. I actually have two translations of it:

1. The first one, quoting the old intro to this post, «appears in a file created 13/12/10 16:10 and edited same day 16:20, and the academic year seems about right, so without digging into my notebooks to see if I wrote the translation on the English notebook and then copied it onto the computer, I'd guess that is the date of translation and perhaps even the time of translation. My corpus of translations of others' poems says between 30/11 and 14/12, so we agree». To be precise, the original version, as per below with its superscripts, appears annotated on a sheet with the English text. A bunch of margin, top, and bottom notes, if you will.
   This sheet has, on its back, both some notes from 30/11, and a version of the translation which is the reworked below, except for a 14/12 change annotated on l. 8, which originally didn't get into the blog and turned «Tuo stato scopronmi, ch’in esso sono» to «Scopronmi 'l stato tuo, ché in esso sono». Right after said version, the date 14/12 is to be found. Thus, that version dates to between 30/11 and 14/12.
   In fact, With how sad steps, O Moon, thou climb'st the skies.doc, created 13/12/10 16:10 and edited 13/12/10 16:20, has the reworked version aside from «Tuo stato scopronmi», so basically aside from the 14/12 change;
   As for the original one, the sheet was definitely given within 30/11, and I doubt it was given in the previous lesson, i.e. 9/11, because the notes from that lesson seem to have nothing to do with it. I would not, however, assume it was done in class. Anyway, the year is definitely HS4, so Nov/Dec 2010, since there is another schoolyear of notes before this sheet.
2. The remake below is from much later, from a time when I decided the original one was terrible and needed remaking. Specifically, I started with l. 1 on 30/12/21 at 22:00, then only got around to continuing around 3am on 4/2/22 and the following morning 12:15-12:22, getting two quatrains done, and then I completed the translation the following night, between 0:33-0:50. An alternative line is «Una che ami l'amor, spregia poi lei», I'm not totally convinced whether or not to include that "poi".

Let's see it!

With how sad steps, O Moon, thou climb'st the skies, How silently, and with how wan a face! What, may it be that even in heav’nly place That busy archer his sharp arrow tries? Sure, if that long-with-love-acquainted eyes Can judge of love, thou feel’st a lovers case; I read it in thy looks: thy languished grace, To me that feel the like, thy state descries. Then, ev’n of fellowship, O Moon, tell me, Is constant love deemed there but want of wit? Are beauties there as proud as here they be? Do they above love to be loved, and yet Those lovers scorn whom that love doth possess? Do they call virtue there ungratefulness?

Original Reworked Remake Che tristi passi, o Luna, sono i tuoii tuoï sono, Mentre, in silenzio e pallida, 'n ciel sali! Forse ch’anche ne’ lochi celestiali Le frecce dell’arcer lanciate sono? Certo, s’occhi che a lungo in amor sono Lo san veder, come amante sali; Lo leggo 'n la tua cera: grazie tali => ’N tua cera il leggo: Tuo stato dice a me, ch’in esso sono.    [le tue languide ali                  OR Scopronmi 'l stato tuo, … E allor, compagna mia, Luna, tu dimmi, o Luna, L’amor costante è la follia creduto? Beltà superbe là son com’ qua ognuna? Amano il loro amore da lor posseduto, Gl’amanti sprezzan che possiede⟺l'Amore? Ingratitudin com’ virtù là siede? Che tristi passi, o Luna, i tuoï sono, Mentre, in silenzio e pallida, in ciel sali! Forse ch’anche ne’ lochi celestiali Le frecce dell’arcer lanciate sono? Certo, s’occhi che a lungo in amor sono Lo san conoscer, come amante sali; ’N tua cera il leggo: le tue languide ali Scopronmi 'l stato tuo, ché in esso sono. E allor, compagna mia, tu dimmi, o Luna, L’amor costante è là follia creduto? Beltà superbe là son com’ qua ognuna? Amano amore da lor posseduto, Gl’amanti sprezzan che l’amor possiede? Ingratitudin com’ virtù là siede? Con che tristezza, o Luna, in cielo sali! Sei silenziosa, e un viso pallido hai! Forse Cupido lancia acuti strali Anche nei ciel' per cui tu or muta vai? Se chi conosce le pene amorali Riconosce l'amor, in cuor tu l'hai. Me lo dice il languor delle tue ali: Così come io sto, anche tu stai. Dimmi, compagna Luna: là ove sei, Vedon come follia la fedeltà? Le belle, son superbe come qua? Una che ami l'amore, spregia lei Chi da cotale amore è posseduto? L'ingrato è là virtuoso ritenuto?