You are my life

Today we have a church hymn called "Tu sei la mia vita" (You are my life), translated from Italian to English and Chinese. The first record of this translation is in a 3/9/12 13:25 file, the previous one being 18/8/12 21:16. The only changes to the Chinese happened in a 9/8/13 17:25 file, the previous one being 9/7/13 12:22:

1. 直到当您－我知道－将回来为了 => 直到当您－我知道－将回来和给
2. 为我们开上帝的王国。 => 我们打开上帝的王国。
3. 无事在我生活会分开我们： => 没什么在我生活会分开我们：

The change of English from "I have nothing else" to "naught else do I have" is from 22/9/22 22:02. And with a surprising display of self-consistency, on 23/2/23 at 20:13 I rethink the exact same change, except I also consider "naught more". Haven't decided yet, actually. The recorded version below is the result of tweaks on recording day 28/10/23, 12:38-12:45.
Then there's the Greek, only verse 1 for now. Quoting IAFI, «On 23/9/23, I think of translating this song to Greek, and at 19:56-20:12, over dinner, I do the first verse which, with the 20:34 "(?)" alternative for the "In your word" line, comes out to be like this», see spoiler below.

Είσαι η ζωή μου, άλλο εγώ δεν έχω.
Είσαι η οδός μου, η αλήθεια μου.
Και/Αχ θα περπατώ εγώ μες στο λόγο σου,[1]
Όσο θα 'χω αναπνοή κι όσο εσύ θα το θες,
Δεν θα έχω φόβο εγώ όσο 'σαι με μένα,
Σ'ικετεύω, μένε με μένα!

[1]Ή: Θα βαδίζω πάντα εις τον λόγο σου

Then, I sent this to Kika on 13/12/23, and she soon replies at 18:03 with the choice of the the option of [1], and the change to the end «Δεν θα έχω φόβο εγώ όσο ‘σαι μαζί μου / Σ’ ικετεύω, μείνε πλάι μου/στάσου πλάι μου. «Just to avoid the repetition of ‘με μένα’», she says. Well the repetition is also in Italian, but OK :).

Tu sei la mia vita, altro io non ho. Tu sei la mia strada, la mia verità. Nella Tua parola io camminerò Finché avrò respiro, fino a quando Tu vorrai. Non avrò paura, sai, se Tu sei con me: Io Ti prego, resta con me. Credo in Te, Signore, nato da Maria: Figlio eterno e santo, uomo come noi. Morto per amore, vivo in mezzo a noi: Una sola cosa con il Padre e con i Tuoi, Fino a quando – io lo so – Tu ritornerai Per aprirci il regno di Dio. Tu sei la mia forza: altro io non ho. Tu sei la mia pace, la mia libertà. Niente nella vita ci separerà: So che la Tua mano forte non mi lascerà. So che da ogni male Tu mi libererai E nel Tuo perdono vivrò. Padre della vita, noi crediamo in Te. Figlio Salvatore, noi speriamo in Te. Spirito d’Amore, vieni in mezzo a noi: Tu da mille strade ci raduni in unità E per mille strade, poi, dove Tu vorrai, Noi saremo il seme di Dio. 您是我的生活，我别无所有。 您是我的前路和我的真相。 我又在您的话总将会步走 当我有个呼吸，当您想要我进去。 我不将害怕，您知，您与我的话： 祈祷向您，情留与我。 相信与您，主人，从玛利亚出生： 永远神圣儿子，男人像我们。 为您爱曾死亡，生在我们中： 只有一个事物与您父亲和忠诚， 直到当您－我知道－将回来和给 我们打开上帝的王国。 您是我的强度，我别无所有。 您是我的和平和我的自由。 没什么在我生活会分开我们： 我知道您坚强的手不会放开我。 我知道您将会从每恶解放我 我又会在您饶恕生活。 生活的父亲，我们相信于您。 哦救星儿子，我们希望于您。 爱情的精神，来到我们之中： 您从万千的路收集我们在合一 并在万千路，然后，在您要的处， 我们会是上帝的种子。 Είσαι η ζωή μου, άλλο εγώ δεν έχω. Είσαι η οδός μου, η αλήθεια μου. Θα βαδίζω πάντα εις τον λόγο σου Όσο θα 'χω αναπνοή κι όσο εσύ θα το θες, Δεν θα έχω φόβο εγώ όσο 'σαι μαζί μου, Σ'ικετεύω, μένε πλάι μου!

Original Recorded You are my life, o Lord, naught else do I have. You’re the road before me, and You are my truth. In Your Word forever I am gonna walk As long as I have but one breath, as long as You want. I will never fear, You know, if You are with me: I pray You, stay always with me. I believe in You, Lord, Who was born from Mary: Son eternal, holy, and a man like us. Dead because of Your love, among us alive: With Your Father and Your faithfuls you are just one thing, Till the time when – I do know – You’ll come back to us The kingdom of God for to open. You are my strength, o Lord, I have nothing else. You’re the peace in my soul, and my freedom too. Nothing in my whole life will part me from You: Well I know that Your so strong hand will not let me go. Well I know that You’ll from all evil make me free And in Your forgiveness I’ll live. . Father of our life, we do believe in You. Son, You that have saved us, we do hope in You. You Spirit of God’s love, come among us, do: From a thousand roads You gather us in unity And in thousands of roads, then, where that You may want, We will be the seedlings of God. You are my life, o Lord, naught else do I have. You’re the road before me, and You are my truth. I shall keep a-walking always in Your Word As long as I have but one breath, as long as You want. I will never fear, You know, if You are with me: I pray You, stay always with me. I believe in You, Lord, Who were born from Mary: Son eternal, holy, and a man like us. You died for Your love for us, among us You live: With Your Father and Your faithfuls you are just one thing, Till the time when – I do know – You’ll come back to us So that You may open God's kingdom. You are my strength, o Lord, naught else do I have. You’re the peace in my soul, and my freedom too. Nothing in my whole life will part me from You: Well do I know that Your strong hand will not let me go. From all evil I know You will come set me free And in Your forgiveness I’ll live. . Father of our life, we do believe in You. Son, You Who have saved us, we do hope in You. Come to us, o Spirit, Spirit of God’s love: From a thousand roads You gather us in unity And in thousands of roads, then, where that You may want, We will be the seedlings of God. Nín shì wǒ de shēnghuó, wǒ bié wú suǒ yǒu. Nín shì wǒ de qiánlù hé wǒ de zhēnxiàng. Wǒ yòu zài Nín de Huà zǒng jiānghuì bùzǒu Dāng wǒ yǒu gè hūxī, dāng Nín xiǎngyào wǒ jìnqù. Wǒ bù jiāng hàipà, Nín zhī, Nín yǔ wǒ dehuà: Qídǎo xiàng Nín, qíng liú yǔ wǒ. Xiāngxìn yǔ nín, zhǔrén, cóng Mǎlìyǎ chūshēng: Yǒngyuǎn shénshèng Érzi, nánrén xiàng wǒmen. Wèi Nín ài céng sǐwáng, shēng zài wǒmen zhōng: Zhǐyǒu yī gè shìwù yǔ Nín fùqīn hé zhōngchéng, Zhídào dāng Nín - wǒ zhīdào - jiāng huílái hé gěi Wǒmen dǎkāi Shàngdì de wángguó. Nín shì wǒ de qiángdù, wǒ bié wúsuǒyǒu. Nín shì wǒ de hépíng hé wǒ de zìyóu. Méi shénme zài shēnghuó huì fēnkāi wǒmen: Wǒ zhīdào Nín jiānqiáng de shǒu bù huì fàngkāi wǒ. Wǒ zhīdào Nín jiānghuì cóng měi è jiěfàng wǒ Wǒ yòu huì zài Nín ráoshù shēnghuó. Shēnghuó de fùqīn, wǒmen xiāngxìn yú Nín. Ó jiùxīng Érzi, wǒmen xīwàng yú Nín. Àiqíng de jīngshén, lái dào wǒmen zhī zhōng: Nín cóng wànqiān de lù shōují wǒmen zài héyī Bìng zài wànqiān lù, ránhòu, zài Nín yào de chù, Wǒmen huì shì Shàngdì de zhǒngzǐ. Ë́sä i̱ zōí̱ moy, állo egṓ den ékhō. Ë́sä i̱ odós moy, i̱ alí̱thëa moy. Tha vadízō pánta ës ton lógo soy Óso thá 'xō anapnoí̱ ki óso esý tha to thes, Den tha ékhō fóvo egṓ óso 'sä mazí moy, S' iketév̆ō, méne plái moy!

We always, when dawn blooms again, come singing

We keep the religion theme for a series of posts now, since we have a whopping 7 religious songs translated to Chinese. Today we have the hymn for the morning prayers (lodi mattutine) in Lent, translated to English and Chinese back in year 1 of studying Chinese. More specifically:

1. The Chinese translation has the following versions:
   
   1. The original version sent in on 17/3/12 at 15:36; the intro only says «Di quel periodo è anche la prima versione cinese di Sempre cantiamo al rifiorir del giorno» (The first Chinese version of [this post's song] is also of that period), after mentioning More than words translated on 9/3; I cannot find any early record of this translation save for the mail; I guess that record got lost to the Hard Disk that broke around 5 days after the email; I will assume it was done around 17/3, since there is no reason I would have held back on sending it in, and I was busy with other stuff before then (corrections to More than words as well as Heart addiction sent in 12/3);
   2. The corrections sent by my corrector on 19/3/12 at 18:29;
   3. The reworked version is what the comments I sent to my corrector on 19/6/12 at 19:58 point to;
   4. Then we have the version from the 18/8/12 15:27 file, which is what I originally posted here; yes, 18/8: the 28/7 and 5/8 files, for whatever reason, don't have anything but a pointer for this song; the original start, «当黎明再群花，我们总歌唱， / 阿您万能的上帝，您的赞扬；», was changed to «当黎明在群花，万能的上帝， / 我们总来把你的赞扬唱出。» 8/8/24 15:40, nd given its 您 18/8/24 0:15;
2. As for the English translation, it actually only appears in the 18/8 file, with a French version planned all the way to the 5/8 19:26 file, so I'm calling this one a column-filler; in effect, there is a manuscript of it on the printout of the 28/7/12 file, so I assume it was made, or remade, on 26/7, given its location and what the mega-intro states about the manuscripts; list of different lines:
   
   1. «Of goodness you’re a source, ɵ greatest of all Goods», which is really just starting the second half with "o" and then deleting it;
   2. «Humility our light then will become, and», changed in the 18/8 file;
   3. «In our nothingnaught in You alone we’re hoping», which is basically an early scrapped attempt merged with the 18/8 version «In our naught in You alone we're hoping»; the 18/8 version changed in the same timeframe as the last of these items;
   4. «For He only for us was sacrificèd», which was changed in the file;
   5. «In him all things will bloom once again be blooming», again a scrapped early attempt;
   6. «Upon_On the day of_your light and of Your glory», i.e. «Upon the day of light and of Your glory» turned to the 18/8 version for "possessive consistency", so to speak; this change was lost in the blog, so I'm implementing it now on 20/4/22 at 12:14;
   7. «O Trinity, with joy we You do worship», the 18/8 version, changed between 17/9/12 17:08 file and 17/3/13 19:31 attachment.
   Before recording it on 30/7/23, at the below stamps, I made the following tweaks:
   
   • «In You our life is coming to its fullness.» -> «In You alone our life will reach its fullness» (15:42);
   • «With your forgiveness give new life unto us,» -> «With your forgiveness grant new life unto us,» (15:46);
   • «In this our naught in You alone we’re hoping» -> «Our nothingness in You alone is hoping» (15:47, after considering «In You alone we hope in our nothing») -> «In You alone we hope in this our nothing,» (15:49:~30) -> «In our naught in You alone our hope lies,» (15:51);
   • «O Trinity, in joy we You do worship,» -> «O Trinity, we worship you in great joy,» (15:49).

Let's see it!

Sempre cantiam al rifiorir del giorno, Onnipotente Dio, le Tue lodi, Sei fonte di bontà Tu Sommo Bene, E misericordioso nel perdono. Con cuore aperto e colmo di fiducia Dinanzi a Te, Signore, ci prostriamo, Allora l’umiltà diviene luce, La via alla verità a noi dischiude. Nel nostro nulla solo in Te speriamo, In Te la vita è nella sua pienezza. La doni a noi per sempre nel Tuo Figlio Che nel Tuo grande amore s’è immolato. Rifioriranno in Lui tutte le cose Nel giorno della luce e della gloria. Verrà quel giorno, lo celebreremo, Un canto nuovo allora canteremo. O Trinità, nel gaudio T’adoriamo, O luce indefettibile ed eterna. Con il perdono dona nuova vita, E canteremo sempre le Tue lodi. Amen. Original Corrected Reworked Final 日再开花时日，我们总歌唱， 阿您万能的上帝，您的赞扬； 您是善良的泉水，极大的好， 和多么怜悯的在原谅时日。 用开着和充满信任的心房 我们都在您的前，主人，屈服。 卑躬屈膝此刻就变得灯光， 给我们打开长街道到真相。 在我们的无事只在您希望， 生活在您就在自己的充满， 您永远把它给我们在儿子， 他在您的大爱把自己献技。 事物的全部会在他再开花 在灯光和容光的那一个日， 那个日会来，我们会庆祝它， 会那时侯把新的歌曲歌唱。 三位一体，在欢乐把您崇拜， 哪有缩减的永远有的灯光， 用您的原谅赠送新的生活， 就将会永远歌曲您的赞扬。 阿门。 我们总在花再开放时歌唱， 啊您万能的上帝，您的赞扬； 您是善良的源泉，极大的好， 以及在宽恕时多么的怜悯 抱着一颗开放，充满信任的心 我们都在您面前，主人，拜倒。 此刻卑微已变得微不足道 帮我们打开通向真相之路 当一无所有，只寄希望于你 有你在，生活就会无比充实 永远的赐予我们你的儿子 在你伟大的爱中奉献自己 万事万物再次开放 在有光明和荣耀的那一天 那天会来临，我们会欢庆它 那时我们会歌唱新的歌曲 三位一体，欢乐中把您崇拜， 噢长盛不衰的永恒的光芒， 您的宽恕带来了新的生活， 我们将永远歌颂你的赞扬。 阿门。 <> 啊您万能的上帝，您的赞扬； 您是善良的源泉，极大的好， 以及在宽恕时多么的怜悯 抱着颗开放，充满信任的心 我们都在您面前，主人，拜倒。 此刻 卑微 已<> 帮我们打开通向真相之路 当一无所有，只寄希望于你 生活只在您有自己的全美 ／ …自己完全美 您永远给我们它在您儿子 他在您最大爱中奉献自己 万事万物再次<>开放 在有光明和荣耀的那一天 那天会来临，我们会欢庆它 那时我们会歌唱新的歌曲 三位一体，欢乐中把您崇拜， 噢长盛不衰的永恒的光芒， 您的宽恕带来了新的生活， 我们将永远歌唱你的赞扬。 阿门。 当黎明在群花，万能的上帝， 我们总来把您的赞扬唱出。 您是善良的源泉，极大的好， 以及在原谅时多么的怜悯。 抱着颗开放，充满信任的心 我们都在您前面，主人，拜倒。 此刻卑微变得我们的灯光， 为我们打开通向真相之路。 因一无所有，只寄希望于您， 有您在，生活就会无比充实， 永远的赐予我们您的儿子， 在您伟大的爱中奉献自己。 万事万物会再次在他开花 在有光明和荣耀的那一天， 那天会来临，我们会欢庆它， 那时我们会歌唱新的歌曲。 三位一体，欢乐中把您崇拜， 噢长盛不衰的永恒的光芒， 您的宽恕带来了新的生活， 我们就永远歌颂您的赞扬。 阿门。

We always, when day blooms again, come singing O God Omnipotent, Your praise, Almighty. Of goodness You’re a source, greatest of all Goods, And merciful indeed in Your forgiveness. With hearts all full of trust and to You open In front of You, o Lord, we come to bow down, Humility our light then doth become, and The way unto the truth to us discloses. In our naught in You alone our hope lies, In You alone our life will reach its fullness. You give it to us in Your son forever For He in Your great love was sacrificèd. In Him all things will once again be blooming On the day of Your light and of Your glory. That day will come and we will celebrate it, We will a new song on that day be singing. O Trinity, we worship you in great joy, O Light that never fades and lasts forever. With your forgiveness grant new life unto us, And we will sing Your praising hymns forever. Amen. Original Corrected Reworked Final Rì zài kāihuā shírì, wǒmen zǒng gēchàng, Ā nín wànnéng de Shàngdì, Nín de zànyáng; Nín shì shànliáng de quánshuǐ, jídà de hǎo, Hé duōme liánmǐn de zài yuánliàng shí rì. Yòng kāizhe hé chōngmǎn xìnrèn de xīnfáng Wǒmen dōu zài Nín de qián, Zhǔrén, qūfú. Bēigōng-qūxī cǐkè jiù biànde dēngguāng, Gěi wǒmen dǎkāi zhǎng jiēdào dào zhēnxiàng. Zài wǒmen de wúshì zhǐ zài Nín xīwàng, Shēnghuó zài Nín jiù zài zìjǐ de chōngmǎn, Nín yǒngyuǎn bǎ tā gěi wǒmen zài Érzi, Tā zài Nín de dà ài bǎ zìjǐ xiànjì. Shìwù de quánbù huì zài Tā zài kāihuā Zài dēngguāng hé róngguāng de nà yī gè rì, Nà gè rì huì lái, wǒmen huì qìngzhù tā, Huì nà shíhóu bǎ xīn de gēqǔ gēchàng. Sānwèiyītǐ, zài huānlè bǎ Nín chóngbài, Nǎyǒu suōjiǎn de yǒngyuǎn yǒu de dēngguāng, Yòng Nín de yuánliàng zèngsòng xīn de shēnghuó, Jiù jiānghuì yǒngyuǎn gēqǔ Nín de zànyáng. Āmén. Wǒmen zǒng zài huā zài kāifàng shí gēchàng, Ā Nín wànnéng de Shàngdì, Nín de zànyáng; Nín shì shànliáng de yuánquán, jídà de hǎo, Yǐjí zài kuānshù shí duōme de liánmǐn Bàozhe yī kē kāifàng, chōngmǎn xìnrèn de xīn Wǒmen dōu zài Nín miàn qián, Zhǔrén, bàidǎo. Cǐkè bēiwéi yǐ biàn dé wēibùzúdào Bāng wǒmen dǎkāi tōng xiàng zhēnxiàng zhī lù Dāng yīwúsuǒyǒu, zhǐ jì xīwàng yú Nǐ Yǒu Nǐ zài, shēnghuó jiù huì wúbǐ chōngshí Yǒngyuǎn de cìyǔ wǒmen Nǐ de érzi Zài Nǐ wěidà de ài zhōng fèngxiàn zìjǐ Wànshì wànwù zàicì kāifàng Zài yǒu guāngmíng hé róngyào de nà yī tiān Nà tiān huì láilín, wǒmen huì huānqìng tā Nàshí wǒmen huì gēchàng xīn de gēqǔ Sānwèiyītǐ, huānlè zhōng bǎ Nín chóngbài, Ō zhǎng shèng bù shuāi de yǒnghéng de guāngmáng, Nín de kuānshù dài láile xīn de shēnghuó, Wǒmen jiāng yǒngyuǎn gēsòng Nǐ de zànyáng. Āmén. <> Ā Nín wànnéng de Shàngdì, Nín de zànyáng; Nín shì shànliáng de yuánquán, jídà de hǎo, Yǐjí zài kuānshù shí duōme de liánmǐn Bàozhe kē kāifàng, chōngmǎn xìnrèn de xīn Wǒmen dōu zài Nín miànqián, Zhǔrén, bàidǎo. Cǐkè bēiwéi yǐ <> Bāng wǒmen dǎkāi tōng xiàng zhēnxiàng zhī lù Dāng yīwúsuǒyǒu, zhǐ jì xīwàng yú Nǐ Shēnghuó zhǐ zài Nín yǒu zìjǐ de quánměi / …zìjǐ wánquán měi Nín yǒngyuǎn gěi wǒmen tā zài Nín érzi Tā zài Nín zuìdà ài zhōng fèngxiàn zìjǐ Wànshì wànwù zàicì <> kāifàng Zài yǒu guāngmíng hé róngyào de nà yī tiān Nà tiān huì láilín, wǒmen huì huānqìng tā Nàshí wǒmen huì gēchàng xīn de gēqǔ Sānwèiyītǐ, huānlè zhōng bǎ Nín chóngbài, Ō zhǎng shèng bù shuāi de yǒnghéng de guāngmáng, Nín de kuānshù dài láile xīn de shēnghuó, Wǒmen jiāng yǒngyuǎn gēchàng nǐ de zànyáng. āmén. Dāng límíng zài qúnhuā, wànnéng de shàngdì, wǒmen zǒng lái bǎ nín de zànměi chàng chū. Nín shì shànliáng de yuánquán, jídà de hǎo, Yǐjí zài yuánliàng shí duōme de liánmǐn. Bàozhe kē kāifàng, chōngmǎn xìnrèn de xīn Wǒmen dōu zài nín qiánmiàn, Zhǔrén, bàidǎo. Cǐkè bēiwéi biànde wǒmen de dēngguāng, Wèi wǒmen dǎkāi tōng xiàng zhēnxiàng zhī lù. Yīn yīwúsuǒyǒu, zhǐ jì xīwàng yú Nín, Yǒu Nín zài, shēnghuó jiù huì wúbǐ chōngshí, Yǒngyuǎn de cìyǔ wǒmen Nín de érzi, Zài Nín wěidà de ài zhōng fèngxiàn zìjǐ. Wànshì wànwù huì zàicì zài Tā kāihuā Zài yǒu guāngmíng hé róngyào de nà yī tiān, Nà tiān huì láilín, Wǒmen huì huānqìng tā, Nà shí wǒmen huì gēchàng xīn de gēqǔ. Sānwèiyītǐ, huānlè zhōng bǎ Nín chóngbài, Ō zhǎng shèng bù shuāi de yǒnghéng de Guāngmáng, Nín de kuānshù dàiláile xīn de shēnghuó, Wǒmen jiù yǒngyuǎn gēsòng Nín de zànyáng. Āmén.

A prayer to avert stormy journeys

The religion theme continues with Sappho Edmonds 41 / Campbell 30, a very holey poem which was extensively integrated by Edmonds, whom I follow, and I completed the last complete stanza by completing the last two lines of it, which Edmonds had as just the first word of the third one. The sources for this are P.Oxy. 1231 fr. 9 and P.Oxy. 2166(a)4^A. All the P.Oxy. book says about the latter is «A scrap has been prefixed to 1231 fr. 9, [l.] 5 (Σμ. ᾱ 9, 5), which is now ].ενοϲκρετηϲαι», so I'll follow the critical notation of the P.Oxy. X book except for this line. Concerning l. 16, let me quote the P.Oxy. note: «πολλ.[ seems more likely than πομπ.[, but neither is satisfactory». On this basis, LP takes the first lambda as certain, but then it seems LP reread the papyrus and produced their own notation, and perhaps Campbell and Voigt followed LP, so whatever. Too bad I have no image… I will omit the last stanza, ll. 25-28, of which only a l. 25 survives as ]´ρ̣.[, and which is therefore totally impossible to translate. With some wishful thinking, here is a list of the versions, hopefully I will be able to fill in some info on the dating of all three.

1. So apparently I forgot to come fill in the info for the Latin; the chrono index by now says «Betw. 7/5/11 and 17/5/11 | S12 residue, with missing -a on "nauta" only added in S15», so apparently it appears in that file as below, modulo any tweaks I will now narrate; the manuscript found in the pre-17/5 printout shows the version given below, where from Pōmp' to adīre are marked as 16/5 nct (nighttime 16/5, so night betw. 16 and 17) whereas the indented line is marked as mane postridie his scriptis (next morning having written these things), so the manuscript probably was mostly from 17/5; now, I have no idea how I missed "Ipse" when the subject is probably Sappho, but I'll fix it 1/7/23 0:57; I also thought of the non-scanning «Qu'ill'habet in nave» 25/6/23 0:49, I'll give it some more thought now, as well as fixing «Quæqu' habebam» to «Qu'ips'habebam» that day at 0:52, which does scan so I will implement it; "qu'in nav' illi sunt" also does't scan, thought up 1/7/23 0:59; 1:02 fixed;
2. Italian is missing a date, I can only date it to between 17/3/11 and 26/4/11 by OS21-OS22 from those dates, and date a couple tweaks: On 20/9/21 at 18:29, «[Ch’i’ ’n tempesta non] debba [ma͜i] salpare» takes its current form in the Italian. On 8/10/21 at 22:30, «[Tema d'] venti [f]orti li nauti [serra» does the same, passing through «Tema dei gran venti»;
3. «The English version can be dated to within 2/5/11 thanks to a file wholly made on that day around 18:48», I originally said; that file is a copypasting of several emails, and this part is from what the index calls SE4, sent 28/4/11; then, it turns out this was written in the tacuinum poematum (poem noteblock), which dates it to «27/4 in lct» (27/4 in bed), thus the night between 27 and 28/4/11, and after doing, always in bed, the three translations of ROS 1.E.viii, and before doing the translation of Donne's "Batter my heart" into Italian, and even before tweaking the English of the ROS fragment; apparently I started from stanza 4, then did «their ship they steer / unto the land», then did the original version of stanza 5, then the final one, and that was that; it seems the email itself is responsible for completing stanza 3 and changing throw->dump in l. 3 of stanza 4; it is totally unknown when the incomplete stanzas were done, except for the fact that the 7/5/11 "new in Sappho" file (aka OS24) has them; ditto for the change "Have to dump all" -> "Throw i'th' deep sea"; the "original" translation has what I can get off the tacuinum integrated with OS24;
4. Then there's Italian 2; so, this is for a future video; I started giving it some thought on 18/5/23, without much success; I finally completed it on 20/5/23, at 14:13-14:53; I admit I'm not particularly satisfied with that "tempo assai piccino", but I couldn't find anything better.

Greek . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ] ἔπι[θ]ε̣ς μά[καιρα . . . . ]ε̣ γάνος δὲ καὶ [. . . . . . . . . . . . τ]ύχᾳ σὺν ἔσλᾳ    .[ . . λί]μενος κρέτησαι . . . . γ]ᾶς μελαίνας [. . . . . Ἐν θυέλλαισι ζαφ]έλοισι ναῦται [ἐκφοβήθεντες μ]εγάλαις ἀήται̣[ς ἄββαλον τὰ φόρτι]α κἀπὶ χέρσω [πλοῖον ὄκελλαν· μὴ μάλιστ’ ἔγωγ’] ἄμοθεν πλέοιμ̣[ι χειμάσαντος μη]δὲ τὰ φόρτι’ εἶκ[α ἐς βάθηα πόντο]ν̣ ἄτιμ’, ἐπείκη,̣ [πάντα βάλοιμι· αἰ δὲ Νήρηϊ προ]ρέοντι πόμπᾳ [ἐννάλῳ τἄμ’ ἐξέσετ]αι δέκε̣[σθαι φόρτι’, ὠς τάχιστα γ’ ἄραμαι ὠς] εἴ[- ᾳ τά μ’ ἐσέλθην. . . . . . ]ι̣ν ἔργα̣ . . . . . ] χ̣έρσω̣ [.] . . . . . ]γ̣α . . . . . ] Original Remake Italian [–u–x–uu–u–x –u] persuadesti [u–] beata [–u–x] gioia [u–u–x –uu–x –u–x–u] con sorte buona [–] d’un porto impadronirsi [–x –u] terra nera [u–u–x –uu–x] Se procella colpi vi͜o]lenti sferra, [Tema pei g]ran venti li na͜uti [serra: Gettan essi ’l caric]o,͜ e verso terra [Guidan la nave; [Ch’in tempesta i' non] debba [ma͜i] salpare [D’a]lcun lu͜ogo, [n]é ’l carco mi͜[o gettare Tutto nel profondo], non de’ ’mportare ’L prezzo ch’egl’have; Se nello scor]rente corte͜o [marino [A Nere͜o ma͜i capi]ti far b[ottino Del mi͜o carco, prego, nel pi͜ù vicino Tempo͜ il rimandi]. –u–x] opere [–u–x –u–x–uu–u] terra [–u–x–uu–u–x –uu–x Italian [–u–x–uu–u–x –u] persuadesti [u–] beata [–u–x] gioia [u–u–x –uu–x –u–x] con buona sorte [–x [–] d’un porto impadronirsi [–x –u] terra nera [u–u–x –uu–x] Se tempesta colpi vi͜o]lenti sferra, G[ran terror dei] venti la ciurma [afferra: Tutt]o [gettan vïa, e la nave] a terra [Guidano presto; [Che in tempesta non] debba [ma͜i] salpare [Da a]lcun lu͜ogo, [o] il carico mi͜[o gettare], Che il suo prezzo l'oro abbia ad eguagliare O sia modesto; Se nel suo scor]rente corte͜o [marino [A Nere͜o ma͜i capi]ti un buon b[ottino Di mie cose, che in tempo assai piccino Me le rimandi]! –u–x] opere [–u–x –u–x–uu–u] terra [–u–x–uu–u–x –uu–x

Manuscript Final Latin – sŭāsīstī uu– bĕātă –u–x ga͞udĭŭm –u–x Sōrtĕ cūm bōnā uu–u–x – pŏtīrī –uu–x pōrtūs –u–x–u nĭgrāquĕ tērrā In procellis fortibu’ nauta quivis Pertimet vento violent’ et omni͞a Qu’ intu’ nav’ habet, iacit, adque litus Navem i’ vertit; Īpsĕă n’ ābs ĕ’ ūndĕlĭbēt pĕr āltŭm Īn prŏcēllā nēc t’ ŏnĕr’ ādbs ĭci͞endă, Quǣqu’ hăbēbām, sīnt mĭhĭ ād măr’ āltŭm Māgnăvĕ ha͞udvĕ; Nērĕō sēd sī mărĭs īn flŭēntī Pōmp’ ĕrīnt mĕ’ ūmqu’ ŏnĕr’ āntĕ lūmĕn, Īllĕ <> prĕcōr quǐd' ūt sī- nāt m’ ĕ’ ădīrĕ.     [quām cĕlērrĭm’ ădōr' ūt īs sī- –u–x– ŏpĕr’ –u–x –u–x–uu–u tērrăm –u–x–uu–u–x –uu–x Latin [–u–x–uu–u–x] Pērsŭāsīstī [uu–] Bĕ[ātă –u–x] ga͞udĭŭm [–u–x –uu–x –u–x–uu] sōrtĕ bōnā [–] pŏtīrī [–uu–x pō]rtūs [–u] tērrǣ [–uu–u] nīgrǣ [–uu–x Īn prŏcēllīs fōr]tĭbŭ’ na͞ută quīvĭs [Pērtĭmēt] vēnt[ō v]ĭŏlēnt’ ĕt ōmni͞a [Nāvĕ qu' īpsĕ fēr]t, [iăcĭt], ādquĕ lītŭs [Nāvĕm ĭ’ vērtĭt; Īpsă n’] ābs ĕ’ [ū]ndĕlĭbēt pĕr āltŭ[m Īn prŏcēllā, nē]c t’ ŏnĕr’ [ābs ĭci͞endă], Qu' īps’ hăbēbā[m, sīnt mĭhĭ ād măr’ āltŭm] Māgnăvĕ ha͞udvĕ; [Nērĕō sēd sī mărĭs īn fl]ŭēntī [Pōmp’ ĕrī]nt [mĕ’ ūmqu’ ŏnĕr’] āntĕ [lūmĕn, Īllĕ quām cĕlērrĭm’ ădōrŏ ūt sī- nāt m’ ĕ’ ădīrĕ. –u–x–] ŏpĕr’ [–u–x –u–x–uu–u] tērrǣ [–u–x–uu–u–x –uu–x Manuscript Final English [–u–x–uu–u–] You persuaded [–uu] Happy [– –u–x–uu] joy [u– –uu– –u] with good luck [uu–u– –u–x–u] a harbour seize [–u–x–u] black earth [u– –uu– When the storm is ra]ging, the sailors [fear: The strong] winds [and v]iolent [make them fear; All they bear they dump, and their ship they steer] Unto the land; [May I ne’er] set off [a]nywhither [when There’s a storm, n]or cargo I’ve ha[d] till then [Have to throw downall,] precious, or worth a yen, Or just some sand; [If Nereus should ever my things r]eceive, In his [flo]wing pageant [i'th' sea, to leave Them come back I pray him, and me retrieve Fast as they can]. [–u–x] works [uu–u– –u–x–uu–u] land [–u–x–uu–u– –uu– English [–u–x–uu–u–] You persuaded [–uu] Happy [– –u–x–uu] joy [u– –uu– –u] with good luck [uu–u– –u–x–u] a harbour seize [–u–x–u] black earth [u– –uu– When the storm is ra]ging, the sailors [fear: The strong] winds [and v]iolent [make them fear; All they bear they dump, and their ship they steer] Unto the land; [May I ne’er] set off [a]nywhither [when There’s a storm, n]or cargo I’ve ha[d] till then [Throw i’ th’ deep sea,] precious, or worth a yen, Or just some sand; [If Nereus should ever b]ecome to se[e], In his [flo]wing pageant [inside the sea, Things of mine, I pray they come back to me Fast as they can]. [–u–x] works [uu–u– –u–x–uu–u] land [–u–x–uu–u– –uu–

A libation and a prayer: religious stuff from Sappho

Keeping the religion theme from last post, but going back a couple millennia, we meet two religious fragments by Sappho.

• The first one is Edmonds 7+8, Lobel-Page 40 + inc. 13, Campbell 40 + inc. 13, and Bergk 8 + 9. I don't know why I put them together when all my editions of Sappho separate them, it's probably Greek Wikisource's fault. Truth be told, Edmonds also puts them together, albeit numbering them differently, and the same goes for Bergk – and Voigt too.
  Both quotes are from Apollonius Dyscolus's treatise on pronouns. The passage goes like this: «σοί· Ἀττικῶς. Ἴωνες, Αἰολεῖς ὁμοίως· σοὶ δ' ἔγω λεύκας ἐπιδωμον αἶγος Σαπφώ. Καὶ τὸ κατὰ ἀπόλυτον διὰ τοῦ 'τ'· κἀπιλείψω τοι». The intro to quote 1 reads «σοί, "to you": the Attic form. It's also used in Ionic and Aeolic: Sappho writes [quote 1]». Amending to ἀπόλυσιν, the intro to quote 2 is «And the independent form with the τ».
  Ahrens first amended ἐπιδωμον to ἐπὶ βῶμον, and was followed by Campbell and Bergk, while Lobel-Page keeps it as a locus desperatus and Edmonds amends it to ἐπὶ δᾶμον, which sounds out of place to me here, where Sappho is probably offering a sacrifice for a friend… though perhaps the "you" is a goddess and so it's a sacrifice "for the people", who knows. In fact, «agi de sacrificio Veneri oblato vid[it] Bergk» (Bergk saw this refers to a sacrifice to Venus), says Voigt. Quote 2 is uncontroversial in its text, but the separators (Campbell and Lobel-Page) are unsure whether it's actually Sappho, as is normally believed.
  It is also ambiguous in meaning: is it the future tense of ἐπιλείβω, «to libate», or of ἐπιλείπω, «to leave behind»? I think I chose the former on account of The Complete Poems of Sappho, which did have the merit of letting me realize the goat is not an absolute genitive but a possession genitive.
  By the way, Bergk for some reason amends αἶγος to αἴγοις, no idea why. I mean, this means λεύκας can't go with it, since the accusative would be λεύκαις, so if anything you'd have to amend that too, but still why? To have an object here? Meh… Line 2 is totally my invention, originally «τέκνον εἰσάξω…» ("partial integration") from The Complete Poems of Sappho's guess, and then what you will see thanks to Campbell's «presumably for a sacrifice». I must admit though that Edmonds' «Πίονα καύσω» sounds much better, but what can I do, the translations don't reflect that.
  Speaking of those, I originally grossly misinterpreted l. 1 by taking λεύκας...αἶγος as a genitive absolute implying ἐοίσας. This led to the below original translations, of which the Italian and the Latin are manuscripted on the 22/5/10 printout with the Latin starting out as "relinquam tibi" and having an arrow to swap these words, and the Italian reading "capra bianca" instead of "bianca capra", both of them appearing in the 30/5 file in the below versions, whereas the English unfortunately is only first found in the 4/7/10 printout, in the below form.
  The partial integration mentioned above appears in the 16/8 file, and is thus from between then and 26/7. The translations from that file are the intermediate versions below.
  The next file, from 2/11/10, fixes everything to the final version, except the final line of the English version, which is still as in the intermediate version. This only gets fixed in the 5/1/11 file, thus between then and 13/11/10. More precision may come from the "new things in Sappho" files, but that is left to the chronological index.
• The second one is Edmonds 9, Lobel-Page 33, Campbell 33, and Bergk 10. It's a quote from Apollonius Dyscolus's treatise on syntax, introduced by «Ἐστὶν τὰ τῆς εὐχῆς ἐπιρρήματα παραστατικά, αἴθ' ἔγω, χρυσόστεφαν' Ἀφρόδιτα, τόνδε τὸν πάλον λαχοίην», «There are the adverbs indicating prayer, [quote]». There is a lot of oscillation in the tradition regarding χρυσόστεφαν', which is either χρυσὸς αἴθ' οὔτως, γενοίμην χρυσὸς αἴθ', or the generally accepted correct version found in the "optimus liber", as Bergk calls it.
  The final verb sometimes appears with no final ν. For metrical reasons, we have two teams: team λαχόην, started by Bergk and joined by Edmonds, which amends the verb to be an anapest and fit where it is, and team ...λαχοίην, started by Bekker and joined by Lobel-Page and Campbell, which keeps the verb as is and suggests a lacuna right before it, filled e.g. by Bekker's ἐρατὸν. Wait. Bekker isn't reported to have suggested the filling, and I honestly have no clue who did. Moreover, Campbell and Lobel-Page didn't join the team, but left the inmetricality as is without cruces, I really have no arguments pro or contra any of them. I ended up joining team ...λαχοίην, probably for completeness of the line. Indeed, the oldest file has λαχόην, possibly because of Greek Wikisource. An even earlier version of the file was printed out on 22/5/10, and is what gives us the manuscript versions, where the English is lacking. The italic parts are annotations to the Greek text of the prayer.
  The 4/7/10 printout, which switches to uu– λαχοίην, also presents us with the intermediate Italian and Latin, whereas the English appears in the 25/7/10 file.
  The intermediate translations then appear in the 16/8/10 file, thus made between then and 26/7/10. The 2/11/10 file only changes the final line of the English to «If only that wonderful fate just were mine own!», presumably forgetting to delete the "only".
  That gets deleted in the 5/1/11 file, thus between that date and the previous 13/11/10 file, leaving only the Italian to lag behind. And lag behind it will for a very long time, until the 28/8/11 file. This means that, between 10/8 and 28/8, I finally got all these translations to their final form. Aside from the Libation, which 2/6/25 16:43 changes «Ēt tĭbī lībāb’» -> «Atque lībābō tibi…».
  The final version of fr. 2 originally had «O Aphrodite that golden crown do own», then I went to shoehorn it into the tune for the video, and realized l. 2 was a phalecean and l. 1 had the problem of Aphrodite pronounced with a silent -e. Thus, on 14/6/26 at 2:45 and apparently then again at 3:02, I fixed that line to be a phalecean, switching that->who as well.

Let's see these!

• Manuscript
• Original
• Intermediate
• Final

Σοὶ δ' ἔγω λεύκας ἐπὶ βῶμον αἶγος . . . κἀπιλείψω τοι... E a te con capra bianca sull’altare … E dietro a telascerò per te… Αἴθ' ἔγω, χρυσοστέφαν' Ἀφρόδιτα, τόνδε τὸν πάλονsorte λαχόηνott. aor. λαγχάνωho in sorte, ottengo [uu–] λαχοίην. O Afrodite corona dorata, SeSol esta sorte fossemi toccata!

Cāpr’ ăt ālbā desuper aram ipsa … Et relinquam⟷tibi… O corona aureSort' eg' illam ips' utinam Afrodita quæ'aure' habes coronam!   [habu͞issem,

Σοὶ δ' ἔγω λεύκας ἐπὶ βῶμον αἶγος … κἀπιλείψω τοι… E a te con bianca capra sull’altare … E dietro lascerò per te… Αἴθ' ἔγω, χρυσοστέφαν' Ἀφρόδιτα, τόνδε τὸν πάλον uu– λαχοίην. O Afrodite d’oro incoronata, Sol esta sorte fossemi toccata!

Cāpr’ ăt ālbā dēsŭpĕr ārăm īpsă … Ēt tĭbī rĕlīnquăm… To you with white goat on the altar I … And I will leave to you… Sōrt’ ĕg’ īllăm īps’ ŭtĭnām m’ hăbu͞issĕm, Āphrŏdītă qu’ a͞urĕ’ hăbēs cŏrōnăm! O Aphrodite that golden crown do own, If only that good fate had been my own!

Σοὶ δ' ἔγω λεύκας ἐπὶ βῶμον αἶγος [Τέκνον εἰσάξω]… κἀπιλείψω τοι… Per te di bianca capra sull’altare La prole condurrò… E liberò per te… Αἴθ' ἔγω, χρυσοστέφαν' Ἀφρόδιτα, τόνδε τὸν πάλον ‹γ’ ἔρατον› λαχοίην. O Afrodite d’oro incoronata, Sol esta sorte mi venisse data!

Cāpr’ ăt ālbǣd dūcăm ăd ārăm īpsă Prōgĕni͞em tĭbī… Ēt tĭbī lībāb’… To you of white goat on the altar I Will lead the offspring... And I will add libation for you... Sōrt’ ĕg’ hāncĕ īps’ ŭtĭnām tĕne͞am mī, Āphrŏdītă qu’ a͞urĕ’ hăbēs cŏrōnăm! O Aphrodite that golden crown do own, If only that good fate could be mine own!

Σοὶ δ' ἔγω λεύκας ἐπὶ βῶμον αἶγος [Τέκνον ἐς μὲν ἄξ’ ἐπὶ θῦμα τωὔτω], κἀπιλείψω τοι… Per te di bianca capra sull’altare [Condurrò prole, sacrificio͜ a fare,] E liberò per te… Αἴθ' ἔγω, χρυσοστέφαν' Ἀφρόδιτα, τόνδε τὸν πάλον ‹γ’ ἔρατον› λαχοίην. Afrodite d’oro incoronata, Ch’esta ‹buona› sorte mi venga data!

Cāpr’ ăt ālbǣ [dūcăm] ăd ārăm īpsă [Prōgĕni͞em] tĭb’, [ōffĕrăm ūt dĕ’ īpsăm], Ātquĕ lībābō tĭbĭ… To you of white goat on the altar I [Offspring will lead, and sacrifice it, aye,] And I’ll libate for you… Sōrt’ ĕg’ hāncĕ īps’ ŭtĭnām tĕne͞am mī, Āphrŏdītă qu’ a͞urĕ’ hăbēs cŏrōnăm! Aphrodite who golden crown do own, May that ‹wonderful› fate become mine own!

Another poem by Donne

Sticking to Donne, I give you today a religious sonnet translated into an Italian sonnet, but also into 6-line stanzas of hendecasyllabics ended by a couplet, again in Italian.
The sonnet translation dates 28/4/11 (the last two quatrains having been composed, as per the folia poematum, in bed the night between 28/4 and 29/4, with no hesitation except for "debol è => s'è" and "nemico=>avversario=>avversaro", the last of which was apparently inspired by the "Our Father of the Haughty" from Dante's Purgatory, Purg. XI ll. 1-24). Some minor differences are found in the version in an email from 28/4/11, reported below as "email version". This version is also found in 25/3/11 16:13-16:17 file. At l. 8, the email notes «sequentiam accentorum a metro compulsam video contrapositioni inter dovria et s’è vim addere; ictus fortunae fuit bonae» (I see that the stress pattern forced by the meter adds strength to the contraposition between dovria and s'è; that was a stroke of good luck).
The other one dates 23-24/3/11. A file from 2/5/11 18:48 has the variants «Ch'in piedi stia», «vuoi giustar me / giustarmi», «rinnovar me / rinnovarmi», «Sì com'urbe usurpata, d'altri amica,», skips the final couplet, and adds the comments «sequentiam accentorum a metro compulsam video contrapositioni inter dovria et s'è vim addere; ictus fortunae fuit bonae.» (I see that the stress pair forced by the meter adds strength to the contrast between dovria and s'è; that was a stroke of good luck) add and «Pro disticho vide alteram versionem. Pro avversaro et Signor caro cf Pater noster superborum apud Dantem.» (For the couplet see the other version. For avversaro and Signor caro cfr. the version of the Lord's Prayer in Dante's Purgatory). A 25/3/11 14:24 email has the "email version" below. The lines marked with * are those that differ from the blog version.
Let's see this!

Batter my heart, three-person’d God, for You As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend; That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new. I, like an usurp’d town, to another due, Labour to admit You, but o, to no end. Reason, Your viceroy in me, me should defend, But is captived, and proves weak or untrue. Yet dearly I love You, and would be loved fain, But am betroth’d unto Your Enemy: Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again, Take me to You, imprison me, for I, Except You enthrall me, never shall be free, Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

Email version Blog version Tempesta ’l cuor mio, Dio, ché Tu, per ora, Sol bussi, spiri, splendi, e vuoi giustare;    -armi nbsp;  -ar me <Ch'in piedi stia, m’abbatti, ed> abbi cura D’ bruciar, soffiar via, romper, rinnovare.    -armi nbsp;  -ar me <Com’urbe usurpata>, d’un altro amica,    Sì com’urbe usurpata, d’altri amica, M’adopro invano per accoglier Te: Ragion, Tuo viceré, dovria fatica Per me far; schiava, falsa o debol s’è. Pur molto T’amo, e ser vorria riamato, Ma fidanzato son del Tu’ avversaro. Divorziam’, rompi o sciogli il nodo odiato, Portami ’n Tua prigion, ché, Signor caro, Sol se tuo schiavo, libertate avrò; Se non mi stupri, casto mai sarò. Tempesta ’l cuor mio, Dio, ché tu per ora Sol bussi spiri splendi e vuoi giustare.̣ Ché in piedi stia, m’abbatti, ed abbi cura D’ bruciar, soffiar via, romper, rinnovare Com’urbe usurpata, d’un altro amica, M’adopro invano per accoglier Te: Ragion, tuo viceré, dovria fatica Per me far; schiava, falsa o debol s’è. Pur molto T’amo, e ser vorria riamato, Ma fidanzato son del tu’ avversaro. Divorziam’, rompi o sciogli il nodo odiato, Portami ’n Tua prigion, ché, Signor caro, Sol se tuo schiavo, libertate avrò; Se non mi stupri, casto mai sarò.

• Blog version
• Email version

Tempesta il cuore mio, o trino Dio
Ché Tu per or sol bussi, spiri e splendi
E cerchi riparar ciò che son io;
Ch’io possa, surto, in piedi star, mi fendi,
Abbattimi, e tua forza a me bruciare
Piega, e soffiar via, rompere, nuovo fare.

Io, com’urbe usurpata, alleata
D’un altro, m’affatico perché Te
Accolga, ma in futilità ciò guata:
Ché la ragione, in me il tuo viceré,
Dovria difendermi, ma è prigioniera,
E debil mostrasi, o non veritiera.

Pur caramente t’amo, ed amato
Volentïer sareï, ma col Tüo
Più gran nemico sono fidanzato;
Divorziami, disnodami, e anco il süo
Nodo, deh sciogli, portami con Te,
Fammi Tuo prigioniero or, ché per me

Sol se tuo schiavo, libertate avrò;
Se non mi stupri, casto mai sarò.

Tempesta il cuore mio, o trino Dio,
Ché Tu per or sol bussi, spiri e splendi
E cerchi riparar quel che son io; *
Ch'io possa, surto, in piedi star, me fendi, *
Abbattimi, e Tua forza a me bruciare
Piega, e soffiar via, romper, nuovo fare. *

Io, com'urbe usurpata, alleata
D'un altro, m'affatico perché Te
Accolga, ma in futilità ciò guata:
Ché la Ragione, in me 'l Tuo viceré, *
Dovria difendermi, ma è prigioniera,
E debil mostrasi o non veritiera; *

Pur caramante T'amo, ed amato
Volentïer sarei, ma con il Tüo *
Più gran Nemico sono fidanzato;
Me divorzia, disnoda, e ancora il süo *
Nodo, deh, rompi, portami con Te, *
Fammi tuo prigioniero, ché per me, *

Sol se Tuo schiavo, libertate avrò;
Se non mi stupri, casto mai sarò.

Contrast: Donne’s reaction to parting

Love from separation in the last post, and today we have a different reaction to separation in John Donne's Valediction, which I met during the school's English literature classes and translated to Italian twice in two different meters. Actually, only the translation into hendecasyllabics dated 1-2/3/2011 is complete, «the one into 6-line stanzas of enneasyllabics has verse 1 from 28/2/11 and verse 2 from 21/1/11», said blog, but an email I sent to myself dates both to 28/2. Curiously enough, on a sheet in my English notebook that lies between 1/3 and 15/3, one finds a printout of the hendecasyllabics one, with the following differences from the below:

• L. 27 as «La tua, 'l piè fermo, non pare aver nome»;
• L. 29 as «E bench’essa nel centro sia fissata»;
• L. 34 as «Sì come l’altro piede, obliquo andare» whereas I now have «Sì come l’altro piede, obliquo gire»;
• L. 36 as «E là dov'ho iniziato m' fa tornare» whereas I now have «E là dove iniziai mi fa finire.

I assume this was a bunch of tweaks made slightly later than the translation. [Well if I'd read the damn email, I'd have known they were changes made while translating, and that the hendecasyllabics was indeed done on 1/3.] I reject the first two, but the last two I want to implement. However, the m' is terrible before a consonant, so I take a page out of the old blog version, and use the past remote. Idea conceived 1:09 10/4/22. There are, finally, the recording-day (1/12/24) tweaks to the hendecasyllabics version:

• Né d’ lacrime alluvion’, d’ sospir tempeste: -> Pianto dirotto, o vento di sospiri: (13:36) -> turbin di sospiri / di sospir burrasca (13:38) -> Turbine/Burrasca di sospir, dirotto pianto: (13:40);
• Il rivelare ai laici il nostro amore / Sarebbe un profanar sue gioie e feste -> Col rivelare ai laici il nostro amore, / Il gaudio suo più non sarebbe santo. (13:42) -> Se riveliamo ai laici il nostro amore, / Il gaudio nostro non sarà più santo. (13:42);
• Ma ognun di noi, da un sì raffinato / Amor che noi non sappiam che si sia -> Ma ognun di noi, da un sì raffinato / Amor che noi non sappiam cosa sia (13:44) -> Ma ognun di noi, da amor sì raffinato / Che pur noi stessi non sappiam che sia (13:44);
• Se poi son due, allor sono due come -> Se poi son due, allora son due come (13:45).

While captioning, I also sent myself the messages "«Sussurrano "Vai ora"" (29/12/24 16:52) and "quando a casa va" 917:20). The former is a rhyme-destroying tweak I will instantly reject, the latter is a fix to the horrible «a ca'», though it does make a va-va rhyme. Finally (for now), «Il terremoto mal porta, e temere», the first line translated, which was geared at preserving the translation of the line that rhymes with it, which was stolen from the textbook's literal translation… that translation is just horrible, and I kinda fixed it to «Fa male il terremoto, e fa temere, -> Fa dànni il t.,..» (4/1/25 19:03). Let's see this!

As virtuous men pass mildly away, And whisper to their souls, to go, Whilst some of their sad friends do say. “His breath goes now,” and some say, “No”: So let us melt, and make no noise, No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move; ’Twere profanation of our joys To tell the laïty our love. Moving of th’ earth brings harms and fears, Men reckon what it did and meant, But trepidation of the spheres, Though greater far, is innocènt. Dull sublunary lovers’ love (Whose soul is sens) cannote admit Absence, because it doth remove Those things which elemented it. But we by a love so much refined, That our selves know not what it is, Inter-assurèd of the mind, Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. Our two souls therefore, which are one, Though I must go, endure not yet A breach, but an expansïon, Like gold to aery thinnes beat. If they be two, they are two so As stiff twin compasses are two; Thy soul, the fix’d foot, makes no show To move, but doth, if th’ other do. And though it in the center sit, Yet, when the other far doth roam, It leans, and hearkens after it, And grows erect, as that comes home. Such wilt thou be for me, who must, Like th’ other foot, obliquely run; Thy firmness makes my circle just And makes me and where I begun.

Original Video Final Sì come i virtüosi, miti morendo, All'anime sussurrano: "Ora va'", Mentre i lor tristi amici van dicendo "Or spira" alcuni, ed altri "No!" colà, Così sciogliamci, senza far rumore, Né d' lacrime alluvion, d' sospir tempeste: Il rivelare ai laici il nostro amore Sarebbe un profanar gioi come queste. Il terremoto mal porta, e temere: Di fatto e senso gl'uomin cerca fanno Ma la trepidazione delle sfere, Benché più grande assai, non porta danno. L'amor del rozzo amante sublunare (La cui anima è senso) non ammette L’assenza, poiché va ad eliminare Ciascuna cosa ch'inizio gli dette; Ma ognun di noi, da un sì raffinato Amor, che noi non sappiam che si sia Dell'animo dell'altro assicurato Men cura s'occhi, labbra e man van=>son via. Le nostre anime dunque, che son una Non soffrono, benché io debba andare, Rottura, ma espansione li accomuna, Com'or battuto a sottigliezza d'âre. Se poi son due, allor sono due come I rigidi gemelli di un compasso: La tua, il piede fermo, non ha nome [*] Di moto, ma dell'altra segue il passo.         [*] => 'l piè fermo, non pare aver nome E bench'essa nel centro stia fissata, Eppur, se l'altra lungi se ne va, Protendesi, e ver' l'altra sta inclinata, E si raddrizza quando torna a ca’. Cotal sarai per me, ché devo or io, Sì come l'altro piede, obliquo andare=>gire Precisa tua fermezza il cerchio mio, E là dov'ho iniziato m' fa tornare=>finire. Sì come i virtuosi, miti morendo, Alle anime sussurrano: “Ora va’”, Mentre i lor tristi amici van dicendo “Or spira” alcuni, ed altri “No!” colà, Così sciogliamci, senza far rumore, Burrasca di sospir', dirotto pianto: Se riveliamo ai laici il nostro amore, Il gaudio nostro non sarà più santo. Il terremoto mal porta e temere, Di fatto e senso gli uomin cerca fanno Ma la trepidazione delle sfere Benché più grande assai, non porta danno. L’amor del rozzo amante sublunare (La cui anima è senso) non ammette L’assenza, poiché va ad eliminare Ciascuna cosa ch’inizio gli dette; Ma ognun di noi, da amor sì raffinato Che pur noi stessi non sappiam che sia Dell’animo dell’altro assicurato Men cura s’occhi e labbra e man son via. Le nostre anime dunque, che son una Non soffrono, benché io debba andare, Rottura, ma espansione li accomuna, Com’or battuto a sottigliezza d’âre. Se poi son due, allora son due come I rigidi gemelli di un compasso: La tua, il piede fermo, non ha nome Di moto, ma dell’altra segue il passo. E bench’essa nel centro stia fissata, Eppur, se l’altra lungi se ne va, Protendesi, e ver’ l’altra sta inclinata, E si raddrizza quando torna a ca’. Cotal sarai per me, ché devo or io, Sì come l’altro piede, obliquo andare Precisa tua fermezza il cerchio mio, E là dove iniziai mi fa tornare. Sì come i virtuosi, miti morendo, All’anime sussurrano: “Ora va’”, Mentre i lor tristi amici van dicendo “Or spira” alcuni, ed altri “No!” colà, Così sciogliamci, senza far rumore, Burrasca di sospir, dirotto pianto: Se riveliamo ai laici il nostro amore, Il gaudio nostro non sarà più santo. Fa danni il terremoto, e fa temere, Di fatto e senso gl’uomin cerca fanno Ma la trepidazione delle sfere Benché più grande assai, non porta danno. L’amor del rozzo amante sublunare (La cui anima è senso) non ammette L’assenza, poiché va ad eliminare Ciascuna cosa ch’inizio gli dette; Ma ognun di noi, da amor sì raffinato Che pur noi stessi non sappiam che sia Dell’animo dell’altro assicurato Men cura s’occhi, labbra e man son via. Le nostre anime dunque, che son una Non soffrono, benché io debba andare, Rottura, ma espanzione li accomuna, Com’or battuto a sottigliezza d’âre. Se poi son due, allora son due come I rigidi gemelli d’un compasso: La tua, il piede fermo, non ha nome Di moto, ma dell’altra segue il passo. E bench’essa nel centro stia fissata, Eppur, se l’altra lungi se ne va, Protendesi, e ver’ l’altra sta inclinata, E si raddrizza quando a casa va. Cotal sarai per me, ché devo or io, Sì come l’altro piede, obliquo andare Precisa tua fermezza il cerchio mio, E là dove iniziai mi fa tornare.

Sì come i virtüosi miti
Spengonsi, ed alle anime loro
Sussurran “Vattene ora” e giti
Intorno a lor gli amici loro
Sussurrano, assai ’ntristiti:
Alcuni “Or spira”, altri “no” in coro,

Così noi dissolviamci ora,
Senza rumore, e non muoviamo
Di lacrime alluvione, né bore
O venti di sospir facciamo:
Col dire ai laici ’l nostro Amore,
Noi nostre gioie profaniamo.

Hu Shi, his wife, and two butterflies

I admit I can't quite find what link I thought for this post to the last one. It's probably the separation in all these breakup-themed songs that linked to the separation of Hu Shi from his wife, and then I threw in the butterflies poem because why not, same author, and solitude is mentioned in it too. In any case, today we have two poems by Hu Shi which I translated to English and French – and Italian! I'm surprised, I didn't remember that – shortly after finding them online in late 2011 (year 1 of studying Chinese) and had corrected shortly afterwards. Actually, one of them was not translated to French! Surprise! The history is pretty simple:

1. Between 31/10/11 and the 9/12/11 19:54 file which was then attached to a 22:10 email, I had the originals below; order? God knows; I mean, the English was probably the first of all groups, and the shorter one was probably translated first, but between the French and the Italian, I have no idea; though the files consistently list French, sided with Italian, then English, then English sided with Italian for the longer poem, so Idk; we have a literal translation done on 8/11/11 in English class, so I assume none of the translations were done before then; the 23/11/11 file with the decipherment doesn't really say much, because I could have deciphered it on paper and then copied it – and the 8/11 translation suggests that's exactly what happened; the 25/11 diary entry says «Hac septimana secundum Hú Shì-is poema verti. […] Tum est quod et invenio et verto lěnglěngde tàiyáng» (This week I translated the second poem by Hu Shi. […] It is then that I both find and translate Cold sun); this means that all Hu Shi translations were done by then, and the second poem, which I assume is the longer one, was translated in the week between Mon 21/11 and Fri 25/11; as it turns out, the French was the first one, as made during English class on 24/11 in the below version save for the initial variant «car elle s'rait plus seule», followed by the English, in the version «Two yellow butterflies    both fly up to the sky. / I do not know why,    one of them comes nigh. / The one left, alone    pitiable seems, / *And* wishes not to rise:    lonely is the sky.»; I assume the Italian came last, as no trace of it is found in the English notebook; right after those, we have the second one in English, in the below Original version (the first arrow is a change happened outside class, the second one happened during class, and the next-to-last line was untranslated during class; again, no trace of any other translation;
2. On 19/12/11, my corrector came to visit me, and gave me corrections on the poems; within 31/12/11 10:21, I had metabolized those corrections and produced the corrected versions below;
3. Then the blog comes up, and says: «I'll spare you the wrong translations though. Honestly, I'm struggling with poem 2. Why did my corrected translation read the last line as having subject "I" when he's been talking of "those who travel the whole world" for the last few lines? And what does the 定 in line 5 mean? I reworked part of those translations, but won't go into intermediate versions to avoid cluttering this post»; this whole intro, along with the final translations below (minus the musical English remake), appear in a 16/8/18 PDF which is a preview of this post from 8/8/18 (i.e. the preview tab was opened on 8/8 and saved as a PDF on 16/8); this means that, on 8/8, I was drafting the post, and thus that is the date of the final rework;
4. On 19/4/21, I set this to music, following the tones with the tune. The first half-line dates 19:15, the rest between 22:15 and 22:23. I then rework the translation into English to fit the tune. That happens the next day, between 14:47 and 14:49, with a tweak basically at 15. I present the reworked translation at the bottom, just before the sheet music for the Chinese original (my Sibelius only fits two lines of lyrics, so characters and Pinyin didn't allow the English to fit.

Let's see them!

• Original
• Corrected
• Final

两个黄蝴蝶      双双飞上天。 不知为什么      一个忽飞还。 剩下那一个      孤单怪可怜， 也无心上天      天上太孤单。 Two yellow butterflies      both fly up to the sky. I do not know why,      one of them comes nigh. The one left, alone      and pitiable doth seem, And wishes not to rise:      lonely is the sky.

Liǎng gè huáng húdié,      shuāngshuāng fēi shàng tiān. Bùzhī wèishénme      yī gè hū fēi huán. Shèngxià nà yī gè      gūdān guài kělián, Yě wú xīn shàng tiān      tiān shàng tài gūdān. Deux papillons jaunes      veulent ensemble au ciel. Je n’ sais pas pourquoi,      l’une s’en vient vers moi. L’autre, abandonnée,      seule et pitoyable, Veut pas s’envoler:      le ciel est très seul.

Due farfalle gialle      insieme al ciel sen vanno.
Chissà per qual ragione,      una mi vien vicino.
L’altra, lasciata, sola,      compatibil pare,
E non si vuol levare:      il cielo è così solo.

病中得他书，不满八行纸。 全无要紧话，颇使我欢喜。 我不认得他，他不认得我。 我却纪念他，这是为什么？ 岂不因我们，分定长相亲。 由分生情意，所以非路人。 天边一游子，生不识故里。 终有故乡情，其理亦如此。 岂不爱自由，此意无人晓。 情愿不自由，便是自由了。 Being I sick, he wrote,      not a=>e’en eight full lines. Not so serious words,      made me happy quite. I do not know him,      he does not know me. I rememb’r him though;      why can that e’er be? Is it not ’cause we      have grown close in calm, From this love was born,      so stranger he is not? All-world travellers      live to know no home. They long for home i’ th’ end,      they think also thus => this they also think: Is’t not freedom to love?      This feeling no-one knows. They’d rather not be free,      but are nought but free.

Bìng zhōng dé tā shū,      bù mǎn bā háng zhǐ. Quán wú yàojǐn huà,      pō shǐ wǒ huānxǐ. Wǒ bù rènde tā,      tā bù rènde wǒ. Wǒ què jìniàn tā,      zhè shì wèishénme? Qǐ bù yīn wǒmen,      fēndìng zhǎng xiāngqīn. Yóu fēn shēng qíngyì,      suǒyǐ fēi lùrén. Tiānbiān yī yóuzǐ,      shēng bù shí gùlǐ. Zhōng yǒu gùxiāng qíng,      qí lǐ yì rúcǐ. Qǐbù ài zìyóu,      cǐ yì wú rén xiǎo. Qíngyuàn bù zìyóu,      biànshì zìyóule. . Men d’otto righe scrisse a me, malato; Non gravi motti; ma mi fêr felice. Lui non è noto a me, né io a lui. Eppur me la ricordo; come posso? Non ci siam fatti amici nella calma, Donde l’amor, per cui non è straniero? Chi tutto il mondo viaggia, non conosce Casa. Infin patria cupe, e così pensa: «Non è amar libertà?». Sentire ignoto A tutti. Libero è, ma nol vorrebbe.

两个黄蝴蝶      双双飞上天。 不知为什么      一个忽飞还。 剩下那一个      孤单怪可怜， 也无心上天      天上太孤单。 Two yellow butterflies      both fly up to the sky. I do not know why,      one of them comes back. The one left, alone      and pitiable in faith, Wishes not to rise:      lonely is the sky.

Liǎng gè huáng húdié,      shuāngshuāng fēi shàng tiān. Bùzhī wèishénme      yī gè hū fēi huán. Shèngxià nà yī gè      gūdān guài kělián, Yě wú xīn shàng tiān      tiān shàng tài gūdān. Deux papillons jaunes      veulent ensemble au ciel. Je n’ sais pas pourquoi,      l’une s’en va en arrière. L’autre, abandonnée,      seule et pitoyable, Veut pas s’envoler:      le ciel est très seul.

Due farfalle gialle      insieme al ciel sen vanno.
Chissà per qual ragione,      una torna indietro.
L’altra, lasciata, sola,      è compatibil molto,
E non si vuol levare:      il cielo è così solo.

病中得他书，不满八行纸。 全无要紧话，颇使我欢喜。 我不认得他，他不认得我。 我却纪念他，这是为什么？ 岂不因我们，分定长相亲。 由分生情意，所以非路人。 天边一游子，生不识故里。 终有故乡情，其理亦如此。 岂不爱自由，此意无人晓。 情愿不自由，便是自由了。 Sick, I got her words,      not e’en eight full lines. Not so serious words,      made me happy quite. I do not know her,      she does not know me. I rememb’r her though;      why can that e’er be? Is it not ’cause we      long apart, feel love Born from being apart,      so stranger she is not? Those always far from home      live but know no home. They love it still i’ th’ end,      thus do I her love. Is’t not freedom to love?      This no-one answer can. I’d rather not be free,      but am nought but free.

Bìng zhōng dé tā shū,      bù mǎn bā háng zhǐ. Quán wú yàojǐn huà,      pō shǐ wǒ huānxǐ. Wǒ bù rènde tā,      tā bù rènde wǒ. Wǒ què jìniàn tā,      zhè shì wèishénme? Qǐ bù yīn wǒmen,      fēndìng zhǎng xiāngqīn. Yóu fēn shēng qíngyì,      suǒyǐ fēi lùrén. Tiānbiān yī yóuzǐ,      shēng bù shí gùlǐ. Zhōng yǒu gùxiāng qíng,      qí lǐ yì rúcǐ. Qǐbù ài zìyóu,      cǐ yì wú rén xiǎo. Qíngyuàn bù zìyóu,      biànshì zìyóule. . Men d’otto righe scrisse a me, malato; Non gravi motti; ma mi fêr felice. Lei non è nota a me, né io a lei. Eppur me la ricordo; come posso? Non ci amiam poiché a lungo separati Forse, onde lei non è per me un’ignota? Chi è sempre via, sua patria non conosce. L’ama ancora alla fin: perciò il suddetto Amor. Non è amar libertà? Risposta Nullo sa. Libero son, ma nol vorrei.

两个黄蝴蝶      双双飞上天。 不知为什么      一个忽飞还。 剩下那一个      孤单怪可怜， 也无心上天      天上太孤单。 Two yellow butterflies      both fly up to the sky. I do not know why,      one of them comes back. The one left, alone      and pitiable in faith, Wishes not to rise:      she's lonely in the sky.

Liǎng gè huáng húdié,      shuāngshuāng fēi shàng tiān. Bùzhī wèishénme      yī gè hū fēi huán. Shèngxià nà yī gè      gūdān guài kělián, Yě wú xīn shàng tiān      tiān shàng tài gūdān. Deux papillons jaunes      veulent ensemble au ciel. Je n’ sais pas pourquoi,      l’une s’en va en arrière. L’autre, abandonnée,      seule et pitoyable, Veut pas s’envoler:      en ciel elle est très seule.

Due farfalle gialle      insieme al ciel sen vanno.
Chissà per qual ragione,      una torna indietro.
L’altra, lasciata, sola,      è compatibil molto,

E non si vuol levare:      in ciel sarebbe sola.

病中得他书，不满八行纸。 全无要紧话，颇使我欢喜。 我不认得他，他不认得我。 我却纪念他，这是为什么？ 岂不因我们，分定长相亲。 由分生情意，所以非路人。 天边一游子，生不识故里。 终有故乡情，其理亦如此。 岂不爱自由，此意无人晓。 情愿不自由，便是自由了。 Sick, I got her words,      not e’en eight full lines. Not so serious words,      made me happy quite. I do not know her,      she does not know me. I rememb’r her though;      why can that e’er be? Is it not ’cause we      long apart, feel love Born from being apart,      so stranger she is not? Those always far from home      live but know no home. They love it still i’ th’ end,      thus do I her love. Is’t not freedom to love?      This no-one answer can. They’d rather not be free,      but are nought but free.

Bìng zhōng dé tā shū,      bù mǎn bā háng zhǐ. Quán wú yàojǐn huà,      pō shǐ wǒ huānxǐ. Wǒ bù rènde tā,      tā bù rènde wǒ. Wǒ què jìniàn tā,      zhè shì wèishénme? Qǐ bù yīn wǒmen,      fēndìng zhǎng xiāngqīn. Yóu fēn shēng qíngyì,      suǒyǐ fēi lùrén. Tiānbiān yī yóuzǐ,      shēng bù shí gùlǐ. Zhōng yǒu gùxiāng qíng,      qí lǐ yì rúcǐ. Qǐbù ài zìyóu,      cǐ yì wú rén xiǎo. Qíngyuàn bù zìyóu,      biànshì zìyóule. . Men d’otto righe scrisse a me, malato; Non gravi motti; ma mi fêr felice. Lei non è nota a me, né io a lei. Eppur me la ricordo; come posso? Non è nato un amor dal nostro stare Divisi, per cui lei non m'è straniera? Chi tutto il mondo viaggia, non conosce Casa. Infin patria brama, e così pensa: «Non è amar libertà?». Nessuno sa Risponder. Libero è, ma nol vorrebbe.

Two gold butterflies      fly up to the skies
For some unknown why,      one of them back flies
What a sorry sight,      the one left in flight!
And it will not rise      to such lonely skies.