Today I bring you two more songs titled "Heartache". The first one is a Mandarin song by Huan Zi. «I ran into it during my first year of studying Chinese, that is the last year of high school, precisely around April/May. The second song is the Hakka version of that song, a translation by Youtube user mirvin lim. The video seems to have been pulled down, unfortunately. I ran into it not too long after the Mandarin one», said the old post.
To be precise, the diary entry for 11/7/12 records 12/5 as the meeting date for the Hakka version, found accidentally while looking for a video of this song by the characters 心痛. It's a weird thing that I found the Hakka video like that, because its title has no characters. At any rate, the Mandarin actually came later (and the reversed order of my original guess is probably because the translations were in the reverse order, cfr. below), and is first recorded in a Google save from 16/5/12 22:09, appearing next in Firefox session 8 from 20/5, where session 7 is 12/5. This resonates with the diary, which adds that on 21/5 I «preparo sim-thung sia in Hakka che in Mandarino per tradurla domani, […] e comunque l’Hakka non lo posso tradurre perché non ho ancora finito di ricostruirlo né ci riesco» (prepare sim-thung both in Hakka and in Mandarin to translate it tomorrow [i.e. 22/5], […] and anyway I can't translate the Hakka because I haven't yet finished reconstructing it nor do I manage that». I assume I was going to translate both soon, but failed to finish the Hakka reconstruction and got swallowed up by school stuff, because the translation seems to be from way later. Well, about this diary mention… so, it's written in the Science notebook on 21/5 and seems to refer to the afternoon, which makes no sense. Moreover, it's part of a long series of dates which skips 19/5 and has 20 and 21, so my guess is that it's actually 20/5 and I either miswrote or miscopied the last two dates.
I translated both to English, and the first one into Japanese as well. Let's see this translation by translation:
To be precise, the diary entry for 11/7/12 records 12/5 as the meeting date for the Hakka version, found accidentally while looking for a video of this song by the characters 心痛. It's a weird thing that I found the Hakka video like that, because its title has no characters. At any rate, the Mandarin actually came later (and the reversed order of my original guess is probably because the translations were in the reverse order, cfr. below), and is first recorded in a Google save from 16/5/12 22:09, appearing next in Firefox session 8 from 20/5, where session 7 is 12/5. This resonates with the diary, which adds that on 21/5 I «preparo sim-thung sia in Hakka che in Mandarino per tradurla domani, […] e comunque l’Hakka non lo posso tradurre perché non ho ancora finito di ricostruirlo né ci riesco» (prepare sim-thung both in Hakka and in Mandarin to translate it tomorrow [i.e. 22/5], […] and anyway I can't translate the Hakka because I haven't yet finished reconstructing it nor do I manage that». I assume I was going to translate both soon, but failed to finish the Hakka reconstruction and got swallowed up by school stuff, because the translation seems to be from way later. Well, about this diary mention… so, it's written in the Science notebook on 21/5 and seems to refer to the afternoon, which makes no sense. Moreover, it's part of a long series of dates which skips 19/5 and has 20 and 21, so my guess is that it's actually 20/5 and I either miswrote or miscopied the last two dates.
I translated both to English, and the first one into Japanese as well. Let's see this translation by translation:
- The Chinese-English translation:
- It was actually done in English class on, guess what, 21/5 (one more minor reason to discredit that 21/5 entry as being 20/5, since I wouldn't have forgotten about a translation done in class, I suppose - assuming English was before Science, hence "minor"), in the original version below; it was done all out of order, but I won't bother recounting that order here;
- This version seems to have been forgotten, since then, in the 28/7/12 11:01 and 5/8/12 19:26 files, there is no trace of it, and the version that pops up in the following 18/8/12 15:27 file is different in a couple lines, including a change I then reverted in this post; the differences between the 18/8 version and the below final one are changes reported in the old intro to this post (except one):
- «you have to blame but thee» -> «you have to blame but me», which first appears in the attachment to a 17/3/13 19:31 email, eluding all files up to the 17/9/12 17:08 file;
- «Blame yourself that I have never» -> «Blame but me that I have never», ditto to the previous;
- Checkup day, moving Japanese to its own place with romanization, readying place for French, eliminating ruby tags from English… um, «Though I never have had you» is wrong, fixed ~18:13 1/7/19;
- Actually, this 3/3/13 17:59 Facebook post of mine shows all three of the above changes, and also one that had gotten lost on the way to the 17/3 attachment along with the previous one, namely «Your tears have soaked my clothes, / Gone through them they have» -> «Your tears have soaked my sleeve, / Gone through it they have», which I will now implement, at 14:49 on 9/1/22; this post says it wants to «go over Friday's correction», and 3/3/13 was a Sunday, meaning these corrections are from 1/3/13;
- «[1/7/19] ~18:38:30 that "bide" should be "bid", fixing in a sec»;
- «As I add the dating info and the mistranslation of the Hakka at the bottom, I see «You this leaving’s why», and fix it. It's 16:16 on 12/11/21»;
- The Chinese-Japanese translation only appears in the 3/9/12 file (the song does not appear in a lyrics file from 25/8/12 10:51, suggesting the translation antedates the file, or perhaps the thought of it postdates it), with the variant lines «もう持たなかったのに» (sect. 2 l. 2), «君を凝れ» (sect. 3 l. 2), «君を凝れ» (sect. 4 l. 2), all of which unfortunately only get fixed between the 17/9/12 18:08 file and the 17/3/13 19:31 attachment; however, considering they're all consequences of corrections from that Fb post, I'd say they were only done post-1/3/13;
- The Chinese-French translation was done directly in this post on 1/7/19, as recounted by the old intro: «Now time to do the French. Start 18:15:45, 18:28:54 change «crévé» to «blessé» in l. 5 from the bottom, 18:30 change «mais une excuse j'l'ai pas trouvée», gosh that last rhyme is hard… 18:36:36 solved»; however, on 9/1/22 at 15:46, in line with change d of the English version, «Mes vêtements par tes larmes / Sont trempés» needs a change;
- The Hakka-English translation, which is maybe not too mis- because the video had Indonesian subtitles along with Karaoke Hakka, appears first in a file from 18/8/12 20:54, not appearing in the previous file which is from the same day at 15:27, so one would assume it was only translated that day; except the mega-intro places it on 12/8/12, and I've found the manuscript which also dates it to 12/8 and has the below manuscript version, which is slightly different from the 18/8 file version, so I assume the 18/8 is the exact date of the copying and tweaking; also, the English notebook begs to differ, reporting a very partial translation from 22/5 which is very different than what appears below and was most definitely forgotten about; the last little bit was done first, basically at the start of the lesson, and then the rest was done in order; it's reported, with its gaps filled (marked with []) 9/1/22 15:21-15:32, on the left of the current English version, while the 18/8 (mis)translation with its surroundings from the file is at the bottom; to fill the gaps, I used my partial characterification and the literal English translation of the Indonesian captions I have in one of my files; the latter gave me «I'll say my heart's loved you forever / But act'lly I've never existed»; «After hugging me you go away» in the lost original becomes «After huggin' you leave me and go» on 10/1/22 at 2:11 am;
心痛（欢子） 你的脸贴在我胸口 泪水早已渗透了 我的衣袖 你我都沉默了许久 不该说的话 你终于说出口 拥抱过后你转身就走 我笑着说再见 心却在颤抖 我已没有勇气问你 离开的理由 想说声爱你已很久 可我从来都没有 以前我对你不够好 我也很难受 只怪自己当初没有 抓紧你的手 失去了你我才知道 你有多重要 现在说后悔也没有用 心虽然很痛 只怪自己当初没有 将爱说出口 现在想说声爱你 已找不到借口 失去你以后 我连呼吸也好难受
Heartache (Huan Zi)
On my chest you're leaning your face => [other version] Your tears have Long ago our silence did start. The words you should not have [said] You then did say. After huggin' me you turn and go My heart shakes as I say goodbye => smile I have never asked you to show. [and bide you goodbye This your leaving's why. I'll say I've for so long loved you Though I never have had you I wasn't good enough to you I feel sad, I do! That You have to blame but me Now I've lost you I can know You mean so much to me Now regretting can of no use be My heart Blame yourself that I have never Told you I love you I can't find an excuse After losing you I'll lose my ease in breathing
Heartache (Huan Zi)
You’re leaning your face on my heart Your tears have soaked my sleeve, Gone through it they have Long ago our silence did start The words you should not have said You then did say After huggin’ me you turn and go My heart shakes as I smile And bid you good-bye I have not had courage to ask This your leaving’s why I’ll say I’ve for so long loved you Though I never have told you I wasn’t good enough to you I feel sad, I do! That I didn’t hold your hand You have to blame but me Now I’ve lost you I can know You mean so much to me Now regretting can of no use be My heart hurts greatly Blame but me that I have never Told you I love you I now want to tell you but I can’t find an excuse After losing you I’ll lose my ease in breathing too 心痛み（歡子） 胸に其の顔を置いた 涙が 此の袖を漬けた 僕達長く黙った 言わない筈を 君が言った 包む後君が行く 心揺れ “又ね”と言う 何で離すと僕 問わなかった 長く愛してた もう言わなかったのに 十分に好く無かった 悲しいんで 手を繋がなかったから 僕を凝れ 失くした今 どうに重要なと知る 悔悟も役に立たない 心痛む 愛を言わなかったから 僕を凝れ 言いたいけど 口実を見つけない 失くす後 呼吸にも痛むよ 林保明的“心痛”（客家话） 若个面在吾个肩头 目水已经流恁多 浸吾衫裤 汝涯多恋爱里多久 毋应该讲个譮 结却讲出来 汝攬够离开涯行等走 涯笑讲再见 哇心肚想一通 涯也无真心来问汝 离开个理由 想讲心爱汝到恁久 可惜涯从来毋识有 以前涯对汝毋够好 涯也好难过 只怪自己该时无 抓穩来若个手 只汝去哩涯正知 汝对涯多重要 今下讲后悔也系无用 心肚里恁痛 只怪自己该时 一句爱无讲出嘴 今下想讲出爱汝 寻毋着来接嘴 汝去哩时候 吾个心痛也恁难过 Heartache, by Mirvin Lim (Hakka) Your face on my shoulder you lean Your tears have gone down deep, My clothes are dripping We have loved each other so long [Then you said the words] [That you should not have said] [After huggin' you leave me and go] [I say goodbye] [And think my heart means something] I'm not serious in asking you => I do not [This your leaving's why] [seriously ask you [I'll say my heart's loved you so long] [I've never really had you though] I used to be less good to you [I'm also so sad!] [Blame yourself that I then never] [Held your hand so tight,] [Just now that you've gone, I know] [You mean so much to me] [Speaking of regret now has no use / is useless now] [In my heart I hurt] [Blame yourself that I then didn't] [Speak of any love] [Now I want to say it, but] It's def'ni'ly too late If yuo go away My heart will suffer such a lot. 你嘅面在雅嘅肩头 目水一进流很多 浸雅衫褲 你啀多恋爱了多久 唔应该讲嘅呙 结却讲出来 你nam keu离开啀hang en 走（？） 啀笑讲再见 惟心都像一痛/通/童 啀也无真心来问你 离开嘅理由 想讲心爱你投很久 可惜啀从来不实有 一前啀对你唔够好 啀也好难过 只怪自己其时无 抓bun来你嘅手 本来？奔来？ 只你去了啀正知 你对啀多重要 今暇讲后悔也係无用 心土里(??)很痛 只怪自己其时 一季爱无讲出coi 今暇想讲出爱你 寻不到来借在（？？） 你去了时候 雅嘅心痛也很难过 Nǐ kǎi miàn zài yǎ kǎi jiāntóu Mùshuǐ yī jìnliú hěnduō Jìn yǎ shānkù Nǐ ái duō liàn'àile duō jiǔ Wú yīnggāi jiǎng kǎi guō Jié què jiǎngchūlái Nǐ nam keu líkāi ái hang en zǒu (?) Ái xiào jiǎng zàijiàn Wéi xīn dōu xiàng yī tòng/tōng/tóng Ái yě wú zhēnxīn lái wèn nǐ Líkāi kǎi lǐyóu Xiǎng jiǎng xīn ài nǐ tóu hěnjiǔ Kěxí ái cónglái bù shíyǒu Yīqián ái duì nǐ wú gòu hǎo Ái yě hǎo nánguò Zhǐ guài zìjǐ qí shí wú Zhuā bun lái nǐ kǎi shǒu běnlái / bēn lái Zhǐ nǐ qùle ái zhèng zhī Nǐ duì ái duō chóngyào Jīnxiá jiǎng hòuhuǐ yě xì wúyòng Xīntǔ lǐ (??) hěn tòng Zhǐ guài zìjǐ qí shí Yī jì ài wú jiǎng chū coi Jīnxiá xiǎng jiǎngchū ài nǐ Xún bù dàolái jièzài (??) Nǐ qùle shíhou Yǎ kǎi xīntòng yě hěn nánguò |
Xīntòng (Huān Zǐ) Nǐ de liǎn tiē zài wǒ xiōngkǒu Lèishuǐ zǎoyǐ shèntòule Wǒ de yīxiù Nǐ wǒ dōu chénmòle xǔjiǔ Bù gāi shuō de huà Nǐ zhōngyú shuō chūkǒu Yǒngbào guòhòu nǐ zhuǎnshēn jiù zǒu Wǒ xiàozhe shuō zàijiàn Xīn què zài chàndǒu Wǒ yǐ méiyǒu yǒngqì wèn nǐ Líkāi de lǐyóu Xiǎng shuō shēng ài nǐ yǐ hěnjiǔ Kě wǒ cónglái dōu méiyǒu Yǐqián wǒ duì nǐ bùgòu hǎo Wǒ yě hěn nánshòu Zhǐ guài zìjǐ dāngchū méiyǒu Zhuājǐn nǐ de shǒu Shīqùle nǐ wǒ cái zhīdào Nǐ yǒu duō chóngyào Xiànzài shuō hòuhuǐ yě méiyǒu yòng Xīn suīrán hěn tong Zhǐ guài zìjǐ dāngchū méiyǒu Jiàng ài shuō chūkǒu Xiànzài xiǎng shuōshēng ài nǐ Yǐ zhǎo bù dào jièkǒu Shīqù nǐ yǐhòu Wǒ lián hūxī yě hǎo nánshòu Mal de cœur (Huan Zi) Ta tête sur mon sein est posée, Tes larmės m'ont déjà Trempé les manchės Par si longtemps on s'est aimés, C'que tu n'aurais pas dû dire, Enfin t'as dit Après d'un embras tu t'en est allée, Mon cœur tremblait Lorsque j'te saluais J'ai pas eu l'courage de demander Ta raison d'partir. Ainsi longtemps je t'ai aimée, Bien que je ne t'l'aie dit jamais. Je n'étais ainsi bon pour toi, C'est triste pour moi! Tout parce que j'n'avais pas le courage De t'nir ta main, Tu étais si tant pour moi, En t'perdant je l'vois bien! Il est inutile de regretter, Bien que l' cœur soit blessé… Tout parce que j'n'avais pas l'courage De dir qu'je t'aimais, Je l'veux dire maint'nant, Mais une excuse j'peux pas trouver! Lorsque j't'ai perdue, Même respirer me fait mal de plus! Kokoro itami (Fan Zu) Mune ni sono kao wo oita Namida ga Kono sode wo tsuketa Bokutachi nagaku damatta Iwanai hazu wo Kimi ga itta Tsutsumu ato kimi ga iku Kokoro yure "Mata ne" to iu Nande hanasu to boku Towanakatta Nagaku ai shiteta Mô iwanakatta no ni Jūbun ni yoku nakatta Kanashii n de Te wo tsunagatta kara Boku wo kore Nakushita ima Dô ni jūyôna to shiru Kaigo mo yaku ni tatanai Kokoro itamu Ai wo iwanakatta kara Boku wo kore Iitai kedo Kôjitsu wo mitsukenai Nakusu ato Kokyū ni mo itamu yo Lîm Pó-mîn kài "sim-thùng" (Hak-ka-fà) Nya kài mièn tshoi nga kài kien-thêu Muk-shúi yí-kin lîu àn to Tsìm nga sam-khù Nyî ngâi to lièn-òi lî to kíu M yin-koi kóng kài voi Kiet-khiủk kóng chut-lôi Nyî nám kèu lî-khoi ngâi hâng-tén tséu Ngâi siàu kóng tsài-kièn Và sim tú sióng yıt thung Ngâi ya mô cin-sim lôi mùn nyî Lî-khoi kài li-yìu Sióng kóng sim òi nyî tèu àn kíu Khó-sit ngâi tshiûng-lôi m-shit yìu Yi-tshiên ngâi tùi nyî m-kèu hó Ngâi ya hó nân-kwò Che kwái tshìi-kí kai-shî mô Ca-vún lôi nya kài shíu Che nyî hì-lí ngâi cang ti Nyî tùi ngâi to chùng-yàu Kin-hà kóng hèu-fùi ya hè mô-yùng Sim tú-lí àn thùng Che kwái tshìi-kí kai-shî Yıt kì òi mô kóng chut-còi Kin-hà sióng kóng-chut òi nyî Tshîm-m-tó lôi tsiap-tsúi Nyî hì-lí shî-hèu Nga kài sim-thùng ya àn nân-kwò Heartache, by Mirvin Lim (Hakka)
Your face on my shoulder now lies
Your tears My cloþes are drippin' We have loved each oþer so long Then U said þe words Þt U shld [not] hv said After hugging me you go away I smile and say goodbye[,] My heart's all painful I have ne’er sincerely asked you Why you’re leaving me Want to say I’ve loved you for long I wasn’t good enough to you I feel sad, I do! Blame yourself that I once didn’t Hold tight to your hand Now How much you mean to me Now having regrets is useless too Blame myself that I for long Did not say I loved you Now I want to say it but Cannot find an excuse Since you now have gone My heartache is so hard to bear
Your face on my shoulder now lies
Your tears have flowed a lot, My clothes are dripping We have loved each other so long Then you said the words That you should not have said After hugging me you go away I smile goodbye and think I will get o'er this. I have ne’er sincerely asked you Why you’re leaving me I wanna say I’ve loved you so for long Too bad I never could have you I wasn’t good enough to you I feel sad, I do! Blame myself that I once didn’t Hold your hand so tight Now you’ve gone away I know How much you mean to me My regrets now aren't of any use In my heart I grieve Blame myself that I for long Did not say I loved you Now I want to speak my love But cannot break the ice Since you now have gone My heartache is so hard to bear Nyia kai mien choi nga kai kien-teu Muk-sui jit kin-liu an-to Tin nga sam-khu Ngi ngai to lien-oi li to kiu Ng jin-khoi kong kai boi Kiet khiuk kong chut-loi Ngi nam keu li-khoi ngai hang en ceu Ngai siau kong cai-kien Wa sim tu siong jit thung Ngai ya mo cin-sim loi mun ngi Li-khoi kai li-jiu Siong kong sim oi ngi teu an kiu Kho-sit ngai chung-loi ng sit-jiu Jit-chien ngai tui ngi ng keu-ho Ngai ya ho nan-ko Se kai chi-ki kai si mo Ca bun loi nya kai siu Se ngi hi-li ngai cang ti Ngi tui ngai to chung-jau Kin-ha kong heu-fui ya he mo-jung Sim tu-li an thung Se kai chi-ki kai si Jit-ki oi mo kong chut coi Kin-ha siong kong-chut oi ngi Chim ng to-loi ciap-coi Ngi hi-li si-heu Nga kai sim-thung ya an nan-ko Your face on my shoulder now lies Your tears have flowed a lot, My clothes are dripping We have loved each other so long Then you said the words That you should not have said After hugging me you go away I smile and say goodbye, My heart’s all painful I have ne’er sincerely asked you Why you’re leaving me Want to say I’ve loved you for long Too bad I never could have you I wasn’t good enough to you I feel sad, I do! Blame yourself that I once didn’t Hold tight to your hand Now you’ve gone away I know How much you mean to me Now having regrets is useless too In my heart I grieve Blame yourself that I for long Did not say I loved you Now I want to say so But cannot find an excuse Since you now have gone My heartache is so hard to bear |
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