Saturday 5 October 2019

Ocean

And today we have another Chinese song, 大海 | Dàhǎi, literally "Big sea", probably "Ocean", I guess :). «I met it probably in Sep 2011, definitely no later than Oct 26, and translated it to English soon afterwards and within that same Oct 26 (assuming I'm correct in suspecting that was when I sent my work to my Chinese friend who corrected it), and to French within the summer. As far as I can tell, the only change is «Put this inside my heart» -> «Put this down in my heart», a change that doesn't appear in old files last edited up to Dec 7 2011, but only in files created Sep 3 2012 and edited Dec 25 2017, and one PDF created and last edited Jul 9 2013. My guess would be that I made the change in the summer of 2012 as I took the song into my hands again to translate it into French, and then it first appeared in a PDF in 2013 when I was preparing the songs for my blind friend. I don't like the change, so I'm undoing it here on the blog», said the intro. Boy was it wrong.
  • First of all, this other post discusses how the diary somewhat suggests that this translation was made all the way back in September 28-30.
  • Secondly, the things were sent in on 24/10/11 at 22:55, and this was in its Original version below.
  • Then, a file last edited on 31/10/11 at 12:45 brings us to the Middle 1 version below.
  • This is what remains there up till the file from 15:31 on the same day, and then the next file, from 25/11/11 16:50, shows the Middle 2 version, which is a partial reversal of changes and some new stuff.
  • This persists up to the 7/12/11 11:49 file, and the next one, from 28/7/12 11:01, finally has the Pseudofinal version below, save for the 23/12/21 tweak mentioned below. When I get around to recording this, I will choose the best of each version of each line.
  • I also have ll. 3-4 tweaked on 23/12/21 at 0:07, changing from the Pseudofinal version's former «From a face all unclear, / Bit by bit you get clear to the present form.
  • The printout of the 28/7 file has the following changes annotated on it, apparently all lost on the way to the blog:
    1. «You now slowly get clear»;
    2. «I walk blankly on the beach»;
    3. «I now shout “I love you”, / But the wind blows it away», marked "NO!", so undone by the annotation itself;
    4. «All the tears that I’ve cried».
    I will decide later on what to do about any of these. In fact, I may remake the whole thing from scratch and do away with this mess.
As for the French, there's still blank lines for it in the 5/8/12 19:26 file, and it appears as below in the 18/8/12 15:27 file. In fact, the manuscript translation on the printout of the 28/7 file gives the printout version below, which the mega-intro dates to 25/7. Let's see!


从那遥远海边
慢慢消失的你,
本来模糊的脸,
竟然渐渐清晰。
想要说些什么,
又不知从何说起,
只有把它放在心底。

茫然走在海边,
看那潮来潮去,
徒劳无功想把
每朵浪花记清。
想要说生爱你,
却被吹散在风里。
猛然回头你在那里。

如果大海能够
唤回曾经的爱,
就让我用一生等待。
如果深情往事
你已不在留恋,
就让它随风飘远。

如果大海能够
带走我的哀愁
就像带走每条河流,
所有受过的伤,
所有流过的泪,
我的爱,
请全部带走。
From that seashore afar
Slowly you disappear,
From a face all unclear,
Bit by bit you get clear.
I would now like to speak,
But I don’t know where to start,
I just put this inside my heart.

I do walk on the beach,
See the waves come and go,
And in vain every spray
To remember I try.
I would shout “I love you”,
But the wind would drown it out.
Then I turn back, and you are there.

If the ocean can call
You, my old love, back here,
Let me wait here throughout my life.
If a mem’ry of love
Matters nothing to you,
Let go with wind afar.

If the ocean can take
All my sadness away
Like the rivers the flow to him,
All the wounds I’ve received,
All the tears that I cry,
O my love,
Please take all away.
From that seashore afar
Slowly you disappear,
From a face all unclear,
Bit by bit you get clear.
I would now like to speak,
But I don’t know where to start,
I just put this inside my heart.

I do walk on the beach,
See the waves come and go,
And in vain every spray
To remember I try,
I would shout “I love you”,
But the wind would drown it out.
Then I turn back, and you are there.

If the ocean could call
You, my old love, back here,
I would wait here throughout my life.
If a mem’ry of love
Can mean nothing to you,
Let go with wind afar.

If the ocean could take
All my sadness away
Like the rivers the flow to him,
All the wounds I’ve received,
All the tears that I cry,
O my love,
Please take all away.
From that seashore afar
Slowly you disappear,
From a face all unclear,
You now slowly get clear.
I would now like to speak,
But I don’t know where to start,
I just put this inside my heart.

I walk blank on the beach,
Watch the waves come and go,
And in vain every spray
To remember I try.
I would shout “I love you”,
But the wind would drown it out.
Then I turn back, and you are there.

If the ocean can call
You, my old love, back here,
Let me wait for you all life long.
If a mem’ry of love
Matters nothing to you,
Let go with wind afar.

If the ocean can take
All my sadness away
Like the rivers the flow to him,
All the wounds I’ve received,
All the tears I have cried,
O my love,
Please take all away.
From that seashore afar
Slowly you disappear,
Your face once was a blur,
Now it slowly turns clear.
I would now like to speak,
But I don’t know where to start,
I just put this inside my heart.

I do walk on the beach,
See the waves come and go,
And in vain every spray
To remember I try.
I would shout “I love you”,
But the wind would drown it out.
Then I turn back, and you are there.

If the ocean can call
You, my old love, back here,
Let me wait here throughout my life.
If a mem’ry of love
Matters nothing to you,
Let it go with wind afar.

If the ocean can take
All my sadness away
Like the rivers the flow to him,
All the wounds I’ve received,
All the tears that I cry,
O my love,
Please take all away.
Cóng nà yáoyuǎn hǎibiān
Mànman xiāoshī de nǐ,
Běnlái móhú de liǎn,
Jìngrán jiànjiàn qīngxī.
Xiǎngyào shuō xiē shénme,
Yòu bù zhī cóng hé shuō qǐ,
Zhǐyǒu bǎ tā fàng zài xīn dǐ.

Mángrán zǒu zài hǎibiān,
Kàn nà cháo lái cháo qù,
Túláowúgōng xiǎng bǎ
Měi duǒ lànghuā jìqīng.
Xiǎngyào shuōshēng ài nǐ,
Què bèi chuīsàn zài fēng lǐ.
Měngrán huítóu nǐ zài nàlǐ.

Rúguǒ dàhǎi nénggòu
Huànhuí céngjīng de ài,
Jiù ràng wǒ yòng yīshēng děngdài.
Rúguǒ shēnqíng wǎngshì
Nǐ yǐ bù zài liúliàn,
Jiù ràng tā suí fēng piāo yuǎn.

Rúguǒ dàhǎi nénggòu
Dàizǒu wǒ de āichóu
Jiùxiàng dàizǒu měi tiáo héliú,
Suǒyǒu shòuguò de shāng,
Suǒyǒu liúguò de lèi,
Wǒ de ài,
Qǐng quánbù dàizǒu.


De cette coste loin tu
Lentement disparisses, [->] disparais,
D’une face foue, lentement
Tu deviens => Maintenent tu t’fais claire.
Je voudrais dire quelque chose,
Mais je n’sais d’où commencer,
Seulment je mit ças dans mon cœur -> Je mit ça dans mon cœur seulment

Je chemin sur la page,
Vois les ondes aller venir
Et en vain j’essaie de
Recorder chaque embrun.
Je veux dire que je t’aime,
Mais le vent l’ensufflerait emmenerait,
Je me tourne, et tu es là.

Si le grand Ocean peux̣
Reporter mon amour
Je vais attaendre toute ma vie.
Si tu n’as nostalgie
D’une memoire d’amour,
Qu’elle s’en aille avec le vent!

[Si le grand Ocean peut]
Emmener ma tristesse
Comme il emmène chaque fleuve,
Toutes les plaies que j’ai eues,
Toutes les larme => Chaque larme que j’ai pleurée,
Mon amour,
Emmène-les, je prie.
De cette côte loin tu
Lentement disparais,
D’une face floue, lentement
Maint’nant tu te fais claire.
Je voudrais dire quelque chose,
Mais je n’ sais d’où commencer,
Seulement je pose ça dans mon cœur.

Je chemins sur la plage,
Vois ondes aller, venir,
Et en vain j’essaie de
Me souv’nir d’ chaque embrun.
Je veux dire que je t’aime,
Mais le vent l’emmènerait.
Je me tourne, et tu es là.

Si le grand Océan peut
Reporter mon amour,
Je vais attendre toute ma vie.
Si tu n’as nostalgie
D’une mémoire d’amour,
Qu’elle s’en aille avec le vent.

Si le grand Océan peut
Emmener ma tristesse
Comme il emmène chaque fleuve,
Toutes les plaies que j’ai eues,
Chaque larme que j’ai pleurée,
Mon amour,
Emmène-les, je prie.

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