Can I stop loving you?

And if we are parting, another question may spontaneously arise: how do I avoid loving you still, and tormenting myself with the memories of our wonderful affair which is now over? Or in other words, 能否不想你 | Nang4-fau2 bat1 soeng2 nei5? | Can I not love you?, as the song we look at today is titled. This is a Cantonese song encountered shortly after the last post's song, and translated within the same old Summer 2011 into English. Um yeah, that's a typo. I meant 2012. More precisely, the mega-intro dates most of this to 12/8/12, the untranslated part being the second section, minus its last line. I found the manuscript from that date, whose version will be given below and is lacking precisely those lines. The translation, in the form that got to this post, is found complete in the 18/8/12 file. Then I decided to make a rhyming remake. Quoting IAFI: «5/5/22 10:43, to get some rhymes into this translation, I write the first three lines, the other line is from 14/5/22 in the dead of night, the intertwining from the following morning». IAFI is a bit messy on the line division, since the "three lines" are the first 1.5 lines here, while the other line is l. 6 of the division below. On 5/8/22 I then finished it, in a moment where I didn't feel like working on my PhD thesis, between 12:39 and 13:21, and then I went for lunch :). As I add this into the post (I put the remake on the right and the non-rhyming versions on the left), at 14:07 on 6/8/22 I change «In one second, I'm / Back to always      missing thee» first to «In one sec, I'm back / To always […]» and then to the below version. So let's see it!

曾爱上妳      神话故事般美 无奈要放弃      倦了便乏味 而当天的主角      不睬不理 仿佛失声的唱机 ＃ 行李载满      离别伤心空气 门若闭上了      便再会无期 离开一生所爱      仿佛演戏 这幕故事愿忘记 ＊ 让我知      能否不想妳 相恋纵是美      分开多痛悲 woo… 愿我可      真的不想妳 从前热恋      不想再记 ＃ ＊ ＊ 纵使掷下万样念头在这地 泪已偷偷涌出心碎预备 转身一刹那 仍始终      想妳 Manuscript Final Once I loved U      it was myþically good You just want to leave      you got tired and bored The colour of the day      minds not thinks not X This is like a muted disk => Like a player mute þis is ? ? ? I want to forget þis fact Let me know:      Can I nt want U Alþough love is nice      parting’s such a pain Woo… Wish I could      truly nt wnt U Not remember      of my old love # * * Though on þis earth I’ve abandond lots o' þoxts, Tears gushed secretly, heartbreak was prepared I turn and Just a blink and I Still always      want you Once I loved you      it was mythic’lly good You just want to leave      you got tired and bored The role you have this day      you don’t care for I’m like a disc-player mute You’re baggage’s full      you leave me sad, in pain You now close the door,      “See ya when I do”, Leaving a whole life’s love      you seem to feign I want to forget this fact Let me know:      Can I not love you? Although love is nice      parting’s such a pain Woo… Wish I could      truly not love you Not remember      of my old love # * * Though on this earth I’ve abandoned lots of thoughts, Tears gushed secretly, heartbreak was prepared Just a blink and I Still always      love you

Cang4 ngoi3-soeng5 nei5      san4-waa6-gu3-si6 bun1 mei5 Mou4-noi6 jiu1 fong3-hei3      gyun6-liu5 bin6 fat6-mei6 Ji4 dong1-tin1 dik1 zyu2-gok3      bat1 coi2 bat1 lei5 Fong2-fat1 sat1-sing1 dik1 coeng3-gei1 # Hang6-lei5 zoi3-mun5      lei4-bit6 soeng1-sam1 hung1-hei3 Mun4 joek6 bai3-soeng6-liu5      bin6 zoi3-wui4 mou4-kei1 Lei4-hoi1 jat1-sang1 so2-ngoi3      fong2-fat1 jin2-hei3 Ze2 mok6 gu3-si6 jyun6 mong4-gei3 * Joeng6 ngo5 zi1      nang4 fau2 bat1 soeng2 nei5 Soeng1-lyun2 zung1-si6 mei5      fan1-hoi1 do1 tung3-bei1 Woo… Jyun6 ngo5 ho2      zan1 dik1 bat1 soeng2 nei5 Cung4-cin4 jit6-lyun2      bat1 soeng2 zoi3 gei3 # * * Zung1-sai2 zaak6-haa5/6 maan6-joeng6 nim6-tau4 zoi6 ze2 dei6 Leoi6 ji5 tau1-tau1 jung2-ceot1 sam1-seoi3 jyu6-bei5 Zyun3-san1 jat1 saat3-naa5 Jing4 ci2-zung1      soeng2 nei5 Once I loved thee,      'twas as good as can be. Now you want to flee,      bored and tired of me. Of your lead role today,      there's no care in thee, I just sit here uselessly… # You've packed your stuff,      sad and void you leave me. If you close the door,      I will never see thee! A lifelong love you leave:      was it real for thee? I don't want this me-mory! * I ask thee:      can I not miss thee? Love's all beaūty,      but it breaks painfully, Wooooh! I sure hope      to stop missing thee, Of this past love      I want no memory! # * * Though I've left a thousand thoughts I had in me With abundant tears and heartbreak in me, Instantly I'm back To always      missing thee!

Have I been deceived?

But there's nothing to do about it: it's parting time. So we wonder: was it all deception? Did she ever love me? And at one point in today's Cantonese song, titled 我笑我哭 | Ngo5 siu3 ngo5 huk1, or "I laugh and I cry", the singer asks precisely this question: «是否被愚弄 | Si6-fau2 bei6 jyu4-nung6? | Have I been deceived?». This was met a whole lot of songs later than the last song, but still within Summer 2011. The English translation was done within that timespan. How many posts are there where I wrote 2011 instead of 2012? The translation is dated to 12/8/12 by the mega-intro and is found in the form that landed here in the 18/8/12 file. Let's see the song!

又是热情话      熟悉但凌乱 以往角色      为何厌倦 语气面容      无论多温暖 这里这时一切在转 ＃ 会面又离别      是否被愚弄 我笑我哭      全无作用 又在何日      你我方可会懂 一生相爱数十次 才避免刺痛 ＊ 原来无论天天相见 亦免不了到终结 然而期限即使迫近 分手      为何在这日 @ 原来无论多么紧靠 亦有一处会失散 然而前路即使隐秘 分手      为何在这地 ＃ ＊ @ @

Jau6 si6 jit6-cing4 waa6      suk6-sik1 daan6 ling4-lyun6 Ji5-wong5 gok3-sik1      wai6-ho4 jim3-gyun6 Jyu5-hei3 min6-jung4      mou4-leon6 do1 wan1-nyun5 Ze2-leui5 ze2-si4 jat1-cai3 zoi6 zyun3 # Wui4-min6 jau6 lei4-bit6      si6-fau2 bei6 jyu4-nung6 Ngo5 siu3 ngo5 huk1      cyun4 mou4 zok3-jung6 Jau6 zoi6 ho4-jat6      nei5 ngo5 fong1 ho2 wui4 dung2 Jat1-sang1 soeng1-ngoi3 sou3 sap6 ci3 Coi4 bei6-min5 ci3-tung3 * Jyun4-loi4 mou4-leon6 tin1-tin1 soeng1-gin3 Jik6 min5-bat1-liu5 dou3 zung1-git1 Jin4-ji4 gei-haan6 zik1-si2 bik1-gan6 Fan1-sau2      wai6-ho4 zoi6 ze2 jat6 @ Jyun4-loi4 mou4-leon6 do1-mo1 gan2-kaau3 Jik6 jau5 jat1-cyu3 wui4 sat1-saan3 Jin4-ji4 cin4-lou6 zik1-si2 jan2-bei3 Fan6-sau2      wai6-ho4 zoi6 ze2 dei6 # * @ @

These are ardent words, intimate but confused.
Why did you tire      of your old place?
No matter how      warm your words and face:
Here and now all things turn around.

# We met and did part      have I been deceived?
I laugh and cry      naught is of use.
And on what day      will you me understand?
I’ve been loved so many times,
I can avoid pain!

* Who cares we once met ev’ry day,
Couldn’t miss that in the end?
Though the time limit’s coming near,
Parting:      why upon this day?

Who cares we once held very tight?
At one place you have to stray.
Though the road before us does hide,
Parting:      why upon this earth?

#

*

@

@

Who am I without you?

Yet another assertion of love today, though this time it is done by describing the solitude and inconsistency that parting causes in the singer. Today's song is a Cantonese song titled 明日我是谁 | Ming4-jat6 ngo5 si6 seoi4, or "Who will I be tomorrow?". This was met, again, sometime between Easter and summer 2012, and translated:

1. To English that summer shortly after 6/8, definitely within 18 August 2012 at 20:55, giving the original version below, which appears in the 18/8 file save for the alternate version, which seems to not appear in any file; actually, the earliest version is the third of four translations in the diary, between the 6/8/12 and 20/8/12 entries, and has the following differences with this "original version" below:
   
   • «Leaving may well» in place of «Parting may well»;
   • «with it goes [recte: went]»;
   • «Does «Who'm I» in place of «Who am I» count?
   the mega-intro dates all those translations to 6/8/12; since then, the following changes have taken place:
   
   1. Writing this draft on March 20 2018, around 15:21, I changed "As though I left and / With me carried" into "As though I put down / And a-picked up", following this Stack Exchange post; always following that, around 15:24 I changed "And ev'ry dream with it goes" to "Which follows me in all dreams"; finally, around 15:27, I created the English "Alternative", and the draft was ready, with the Blog original version from below;
   2. On 1/11/20 at 16:00 I go «WTH is this English version»? Like, «But in the end tonight it’s / Your words, o my darling.»? How did I even get that? And I fix it; I noticed it as I did my Hindi version;
   3. 22:05 8/11/20 «And we left all / The fears that we had.» gets its fix, and «A blessing phrase» becomes «This is my wish» before settling on «I wish you this»;
   4. In the evening of 20/11/20 I make some more revisions:
      
      • At 19:06, the «a-picked» becomes «I picked up», because that archaism sounds awful;
      • By the same minute, the «big hole» becomes a «huge void», and those presents with "tomorrow" become futures;
      • 19:07, and «I wish you this: / You need not again cry» becomes «This is my wish: / May you need not again cry», or so says the blog, though there wasn't an edit at that time; the supposedly changed version is actually found in a screenshot from 1:25:39 the following night, and by 1:26:06 we actually have the current version «I wish you this: / May you not need to cry again», so I don't know what happened there; I'm guessing these are changes from the recording session, and this one got changed again before being implemented; except the lyrics I was reading while recording have «This is my wish: / May you not need to cry again», and the video matches that;
      • By the same minute we have «Where that I tomorrow may go» for the penultimate line;
      These changes lead us to the current version, which almost matches the video;
2. Then to Czech much more recently to fill the empty column; storytime!
   
   1. Between 14 and 15 on February 4 2018, I make the original version, which I then send to my corrector on 20/4/18 at 23:20;
   2. On Sep 10 I received and metabolized and commented corrections:
      
      • snadný -> snadné;
      • Ale když říkám -> Ale když to říkam;
      • prázdnota -> prázdnotu;
      • Kdysi představili si osud sjedotilo nas -> Kdysi jsme si představovali, že osud nás spojil/sjednotil, which I then make into "Jsme si představovali že osud nás spojil" at 16:56;
      • Tajně opustili olbavy naše -> Tajně jsme opustili naše obavy;
      • v konci -> na konci;
      • políbím tě v ústech (earlier "políbím ústa tvá") -> Políbím ti ústa;
      • Minulost nakonec minulost -> Minulost nakonec je minulost;
      • Nemusíme opět sejít se -> Nemusíme se opět sejít; this correction somehow got lost between back then and the video, so I had the old version as up-to-date and recorded that, but now on 9/11/21 as I trace back this story I will reimplement it on the blog;
      • Kdo budeš milovat? -> Koho budeš milovat?;
      • Ve hromu a sněhu: she comments «"V bouřce" (tempesta) è meglio no? E pioggia è "v dešti"»; at 16:56 I go with "Ve hromu a krup";
      • Ne sleduj mě -> Nesleduj mě;
   3. On Sep 22 I received replies to the comments, which made the changes to "Představovali jsme si, že […]" and "Hromy a kroupy", and applied the corrections; this led to the intermediate version below; a residual question remains, so there will probably be another edit here;
   4. Welp, on 8/11/20 I open this to add a bunch of translations, and… WTH? A residual question? Well, that probably ain't gettin' an answer since I haven't heard from my corrector in like forever… more tweaks!
      
      • «Říkám ahoj nemusíš plakat opět» needs a fix, besides a linebreak;
      • «Přeji ti teď», «Přeji ti já», «Já ti přeji»… first one's good;
      • «Ať nepláčeš opět» is from 22:26; all from 22:46 8/11/20;
   5. On 11/11/20, I make some tweaks:
      
      • First of all, "Minulost nakonec je minulost" is waaaay to long for the tune, so at 11:00 I drop the nakonec, at 11:03 I unconvincedly mimic the English with "Minulost musi byt' minulost" (or is it byt?), and at 11:07 I settle for "Minulost jen je minulost", "The past is just the past";
      • At 10:59 I had already substituted "Tajně jsme opustili" with "Ignorovali jsme";
      • «Představovali / Jsme si osud nás spojil» seems to mean "we presented each other», with "si" not even being correct (isn't it "se", like "rozejit se" and "sejit se"?), so I make it «Jsme věřili / Si osud nás spojil», but of course the "si" is not "that", but I figure out it must be že only at 16:05 on 21/11/20 while editing my video; at some point the nás moves to after spojil, apparently after the video;
      • Not sure when, but "Hromy a kroupy" becomes "V hromu a kroupách"; since this version is found all the way back on 22/9/18 at 16:42 in a draft save for this post, I'm assuming this is another lost correction (alongside the sticking of ne to sleduj in the last line and the "Nemusíme se opět sejít" and the fix of the misspelling "olbavy"), and that šněhu -> kroupách is just snow->hail, with a plural I cannot justify; 9/11/21 15:31, I'm going to put "Hromy a kroupy" back in;
      with that, we're at the final version below;
3. Anyway, the new translations; I made a Hindi version in three pieces between 11:24 and 17:03 on 1/11/20, and sent it to ATajuddin 10m later; she gave a couple corrections the next day and the one after that, i.e. 2/11 and 3/11;
4. The night after 3/11/20, between 2:23 and 2:38, I make the Italian version; the alternative form is from 22:10 8/11/20; somewhere between 14:01 and 14:22 on 21/11/20, as I record my video, I truncate the "lontano" in "Guardando lontano da sol men vo";
5. Finally, between 19:48 and 19:58 on 8/11/20, I get the French version done; «Qui me suivit» changes to «Qui me va suivre» at 22:17 on 8/11/20; the alternative is from 22:28; recording the video, I opt for «va me suivre» instead of «me va suivre», and I also pronounce the e's I marked with overdots;
6. Finally? No; Not yet; planning to include it in my CD, I come here to choose between the Italian and the English translation, and meh; Italian is better for now, but neither has rhymes, so maybe I remake the English with them and it comes out better? And on 20/12/23 at 21:48-22:23, with a tweak 10mins later, I do so, and do end up including this Remake into the CD.

Let's see this song!

离别也许 是简单的一句 每次说出 偏要洒眼泪 就像在放下 也在担起 一片空虚 每一个梦 也伴随 ＃ 曾亦幻想 是天生的一对 暗暗放开 想过的顾虑 但是在最后这夜 亲一亲你的嘴 我终于狠心的说再会 ＊ 明日你是谁？ 明日我是谁？ 过去终须过去 不必再说共聚 明日你是谁？ 你会爱着谁？ 祝福一句： 你不必再滴泪 独自望这远方步去 雷电冰雪里 明日我走到何方 你莫再追 ＃ ＊ ＊ 明日我走到何方 你莫再追 Original Blog original Revised Revised Parting may well Be a simple small word Each time, saying it, I want to cry As though I left And with me carried Just a big hole And ev’ry dream With it goes. # Once we dreamt that We were born to be two And we left all The fears that we had. But in the end tonight It's your words, o my darling, I, cruel, in the end say “See ya”. * Who’re you tomorrow? Who am I tomorrow? The past must be the past You need not say we’ll meet Who’re you tomorrow? Who will be your love? A blessing phrase: You need not again cry. Alone I look far and walk in Thunder snow and hail Where will I tomorrow go? Don’t you follow. # * * 1Alternative: Wherever I tomorrow will go, Parting may well Be a simple small word Each time, saying it, I want to cry As though I put down And a-picked up Just a big hole Which follows me In all dreams. # Once we dreamt that We were born to be two And we left all The fears that we had. But in the end tonight It's your words, o my darling, I, cruel, in the end say “See ya”. * Who’re you tomorrow? Who am I tomorrow? The past must be the past You need not say we’ll meet Who’re you tomorrow? Who will be your love? A blessing phrase: You need not again cry. Alone I look far and walk in Thunder snow and hail Where will I tomorrow go?1 Don’t you follow. # * * Where will I tomorrow go? Don’t you follow. 1Alternative: Wherever I tomorrow will go, Parting may well Be a simple small word Each time, saying it, I want to cry As though I put down And I picked up Just a huge void Which follows me In all dreams. # Once we dreamt that We were born to be two We ignored all The doubts that we had. But in the end tonight Your darling lips I'm kissing, I, cruel, in the end say “See ya”. * Who’ll you be tomorrow? Who'll I be tomorrow? The past must be the past You need not say we’ll meet Who’ll you be tomorrow? Who will be your love? I wish you this: May you not need to cry again. Alone I look far and walk in Thunder snow and hail Where that I tomorrow may go,1 Don’t you follow. # * * Where that I tomorrow may go, Don’t you follow. 1Alternative: Where will I tomorrow go? Saying "breakup" Seems to be so easy, Going through one Brings tears consistently: Your past and future Both seem empty, And that empty Will follow you In every dream. # "We were born to Be together": thus thought we, As we kept Many doubts secretly. And in the end tonight I kiss your lips so gently, And bid you my goodbye so cruelly... * Who will you now be? Who will I now be? What's past will not come back: Why should we once more meet? Who will you now be? Who will your love be? My wish for thee: May you never in tears be. I look forward and walk, all lonely, Storms, winds, hail rage free. What will my destinastion now be? Don't come with me... # * * What will my destinastion now be? Don't come with me... संबंध तोड़ना: जैसे कोई सरल शब्द, हर बार जब कहता हूँ, तो रोता हूँ, शून्यता कोई मैं रखता और उठाता हूँ, जो सपनों में साथ देता। # हम सोचते थे कि जनम ही से युगल थे, सारे चिंताएं को हटाते थे, मगर अज रात अंत में चूमता तेरा मुं को, मैं अंत में क्रूरता से अलविदा कहता। * कल की तू है कौन? कल का मैं हूँ कौन? अतीत ही तो अतीत, मिलने की ज़रुरत न है। कल की तू है कौन? प्यार करेगी किस से? ना रोए तू: यह मेरी कामना। दूर देखता अकेला जाता हूँ गरज और हिमपात में। जहाँ मैं जाऊँगा कल तू ना आना। # * * जहाँ मैं जाऊँगा कल तू ना आना। Sì, lasciarsi è Solo una parola, Eppur dirla Fa sempre piangere, Come se mettessi giù E prendessi In mano un vuoto Che in sogno ti Seguirà. Ci credevamo Nati per stare insieme, Ogni dubbio Non lo affrontavam, Ma infin stasera Io ti bacio sulle labbra E crudelmente dico addïo. Chi sarai domani? Chi sarò domani? Il passato non c'è più, Rivederci non dobbiam. Domani chi sarai? Chi amerāi? Questo è il mio augurio: Che tu non debba pianger più. Guardando lontan, da sol men vo, Tuona e nevica. Dove io domani andrò,1 Non seguirmi. # * * Dove io domani andrò,1 Non seguirmi. 1Oppure: Dove andrò domani io?

Lei4-bit6 jaa5-heoi2 Si6 gaan2-daan1 dik1 jat1-geoi3 Mui5 ci3 syut3-ceot1 Pin1-jiu1/3 saa2 ngaan5-leoi6 Zau6-zoeng6 zoi6 fong3-haa5/6 Jaa5 zoi6 daam1-hei2 Jat1-pin3 hung1/3-heoi1 Mui5 jat1 go3 mung6 Jaa5 bun6-ceoi4 # Cang4 jik6 waan6 soeng2 Si6 tin1-sa(a)ng1 dik1 jat1-deoi3 Ngam3-ngam3 fong3-hoi1 Soeng2 gwo3 dik1 gu3-leoi6 Daan6-si6 zoi6 zeoi3-hau6 ze5 je6 Can1 jat1 can1 nei5 dik1 zeoi2 Ngo5 zung1-jyu1/4 han2-sam1 dik1 syut3 zoi3-wui246 * Ming4-jat6 nei5 si6 seoi4? Ming4-jat6 ngo5 si6 seoi4 Gwo3-heoi2/3 zung1 seoi1 gwo3-heoi2/3 Bat1 bit1 zoi3 syut3 gung1/6-zeoi6 Ming4-jat6 nei5 si6 seoi4? Nei5 wui246 ngoi3-zoek3/6 seoi4 Zuk1-fuk1 jat1-geoi3: Nei5 bat1 bit1 zoi3 dik1 leoi6 Duk6-zi6 mong6 ze5 jyun5-fong1 bou6-heoi2/3 Leoi4-din6 bing1 syut3 leoi5 Ming5-jat6 ngo5 zau2 dou3 ho4/6-fong1 Nei5 mok6 zoi3 zeoi1 # * * Ming5-jat6 ngo5 zau2 dou3 ho4/6-fong1 Nei5 mok6 zoi3 zeoi1 Original Intermediate Revised "Rozejít se" Možná snasdý říci Ale když říkám Vždy roním slzy Jakoby položil bych A zvedl bych Prázdnota Která sleduje mě V každém snu Kdysi představili Si osud sjedotilo nas Tajně opustili Olbavy naše Ale v konci dnes večer Políbím tě v ústech A krutě tobě říkám ahoj. Zítra kdo budeš? Zítra kdo budu? Minulost nakonec minulost Nemusíme opět sejít se Zítra kdo budeš? Kdo budeš milovat? Říkám ahoj Nemusíš plakat opět Sám zírám daleko a chodím Ve hromu a sněhu Kamkoli já zítra budu chodit Ne sleduj mě. # * * Kamkoli já zítra budu chodit,1 Ne sleduj mě. 1Alternative: Zítra já kam budu chodit? "Rozejít se" Možná snasdé říci Ale když to říkám Vždy roním slzy Jakoby položil bych A zvedl bych Prázdnotu Která sleduje mě V každém snu Představovali Jsme si, že osud nás spojil, Tajně jsme opustili Naše obavy Ale na konci dnes večer Políbím ti ústa A krutě tobě říkám ahoj. Zítra kdo budeš? Zítra kdo budu? Minulost nakonec je minulost Nemusíme se opět sejít Zítra kdo budeš? Koho budeš milovat? Říkám ahoj Nemusíš plakat opět Sám zírám daleko a chodím Hromy a kroupy Kamkoli já zítra budu chodit Nesleduj mě. # * * Kamkoli já zítra budu chodit,1 Nesleduj mě. 1Alternative: Zítra já kam budu chodit? "Rozejít se" Možná snasdé říci Ale když to říkám Vždy roním slzy Jakoby položil bych A zvedl bych Prázdnotu Která sleduje mě V každém snu # Jsme věřili Že osud spojil nás Ignorovali jsme Naše obavy Ale na konci dnes večer Políbím ti ústa A krutě tobě říkám ahoj. * Zítra kdo budeš? Zítra kdo budu? Minulost jen je minulost Nemusíme se opět sejít Zítra kdo budeš? Koho budeš milovat? Přeji ti teď: Ať nepláčeš opět Sám zírám daleko a chodím Hromy a kroupy Kamkoli já zítra budu chodit,1 Nesleduj mě. # * * Kamkoli já zítra budu chodit,1 Nesleduj mě. 1Alternative: Zítra já kam budu chodit? Sańbańdh' toṛnā: Jaise koī saral' shabd', Har' bār' jab käh'tā hūṃ', To rotā hūm, Śūnyatā koī Maiṅ rakh'tā Aur' uțhātā hūm Jo sapnoṅ meṅ Sāth' detā. # Ham soc'te the Ki janm hī se yugal' the Sāre cińtāeṅ ko Haṭāte the. Magar' āj' rātǝ ańt meṅ Cūm'tā terā muńh' ko, Maiṅ ańt meṅ krūr'tā se al'vidā käh'tā. * Kal' kī tū hai kaun'? Kal' kā maiṅ hūṁ kaun'? Atīt' hī to atīt', Mil'ne kī zarurat' na hai. Kal' kī tū hai kaun'? Pyār' karegī kis' se? Nā roe tū: Yäh' merī kām'nā. Dūr' dekh'tā akelā jātā hūṁ Garaj' aur' him'pāt' meṅ. Jahāṃ maiṅ jāūṁgā kal, Tū nā ānā. # * * Jahāṃ maiṅ jāūṁgā kal, Tū nā ānā. Oui, se laisser C'est un mot très simple, Mais chaque fois, quand je l'dis, Toujours je pleure, Comme si j'posais Et je prenais Seulment un grand vide Qui va me suivre En chaque rêve. On pensait que L'on était un couple né, Toutes nos doutės, Nous les ignorions, Mais à la fin, ce soir, En t'embrassant les lèvres, Moi cruellement je te dis "Adieu", Demain tu s'ras qui? Demain je s'rais qui? Le passé c'est passé, On doit plus se rencontrer. Demain tu s'ras qui? Tu aimeras qui? Voilà mon souhait: Que pleurer tu ne doivės plus. Tout seul je regarde loin et j'm'en vais Par tonnerre et neige. Où que je m'en aillė demain, Ne me suis plus! # * * Où que je m'en aille demain,1 Ne me suis plus! 1Ou: Où vais-je m'en aller demain?

'Tis you

Today we see another assertion of love, again in Chinese, with this wonderful Chinese song titled 是你谁是你 | Shì nǐ shì nǐ shì nǐ, that is "'Tis you 'tis you 'tis you". I thought I'd met this and the last post's song close together because I remember having them translated one after the other in summer, but the file says I encountered this one way earlier, though definitely still after Easter 2011 [2012 actually] and before that year's summer, which is when I translated it to English and French. Indeed, the translation to English dates to near but after 6/8/2012. Thus quoth the diary, giving it as done right after that of the next post. The mega-intro places it straight-up on 6/8. Here's the differences between that version and the current one:

• No "just" in l. 2;
• «Too bad that it is only thee / Who can’t make me light in wind / No, you cannot» missing;
• «By your window I await» in place of «By your window I stand still»;
• «stay at» in place of «stay in».

All of these are changed within the 18/8/12 file. What about the French? It was done after 18/8 as it's not in that file. It appears in blog form in the 3/9/12 file though. So that's the timeframe. Well, blog form modulo the change «Though the people may not care for me / May not care that I’m lonely so for thee» -> «Maybe people will not care for me / Will not care that I’m lonely so for thee», 22/12/23 0:06. So let's see it!

别再用那冷漠对待我 是否能够再明白的告诉我 是否已经不再爱我 是否真要离开我 我有话要说 ＃ 也许人们不会在乎我 不会在乎我的孤单寂寞 可是只有你不能够 让我在风中消瘦 你不能够 ＊ 哦！你      是你是你 才让我如此地沉默 徘徊在你的窗口 承受着风雨的折磨 只要你告诉我 你会永远爱我 别再让我眼泪流 让我能够重新 拥有你的温柔 是否愿意让我停留 在你心底最深的角落 ＃ ＊ ＊ Please don’t use that coldness unto me Can you just once more clearly explain to me If you already don’t love me If you truly will leave me I have words for thee # Maybe people will not care for me Will not care that I’m lonely so for thee Too bad that it is only thee Who can’t make me light in wind No, you cannot * Wooh      You ’tis you ’tis you Can get such silence out of me By your window I stand still With wind and rain to torture me Just wish you will tell me You will always love me Never let my tears run free Let me newly feel your Tenderness towards me Do you wish to let me stay in Your heart’s bottom as deep as can be? # * *

Bié zài yòng nà lěngmò duìdài wǒ Shìfǒu nénggòu zài míngbái de gàosu wǒ Shìfǒu yǐjīng bù zài ài wǒ Shìfǒu zhēn yào líkāi wǒ Wǒ yǒu huà yào shuō # Yěxǔ rénmen bù huì zàihū wǒ Bù huì zàihū wǒ de gūdān jìmò Kěshì zhǐyǒu nǐ bù nénggòu Ràng wǒ zài fēng zhōng xiāoshòu Nǐ bù nénggòu * Ó!      Nǐ shì nǐ shì nǐ Cái ràng wǒ rúcǐ dì chénmò Páihuái zài nǐ de chuāngkǒu Chéngshòuzhe fēngyǔ de zhémó Zhǐyào nǐ gàosu wǒ Nǐ huì yǒngyuǎn ài wǒ Bié zài ràng wǒ yǎnlèi liú Ràng wǒ nénggòu chóngxīn Yǒngyǒu nǐ de wēnróu Shìfǒu yuànyì ràng wǒ tíngliú Zài nǐ xīndǐ zuìshēn de jiǎoluò # * * Ne sois pas ainsi froide avec moi Peux-tu clairement m’expliquer autrefois Si déjà tu ne m’aimes pas Si tu m’veux laisser vraiment J’ai des mots pour toi # Peut-être qu’aux autres il va pas Importer de ma solitude et d’ moi Quel dommage qu’ c’est seulement à toi Qu’il doit importer de moi Oui c’est comme ça * Wooh      Toi c’est toi c’est toi Qui peux me faire me taire comme ça Près de ta fenêtre j’attends Et pluie et vent torturent moi Seul si tu me diras Que toujours tu m’aim’ras Je vais plus pleurer, non pas, Donne-moi ta tendresse Envers moi une autre fois Est-ce que tu dans l’angle plus Profond de ton cœur m’ laisser rester vas ? # * *

Forgetting you is forgetting myself

From questioning the authenticity of a purported love, we move to asserting the truthfulness of our own love: if I forget you, I forget myself, because we are one thing. So today we have a Chinese song titled 忘了你忘了我 | wàngle nǐ wàngle wǒ, or "I forgot you and forgot myself". This was encountered during my first year studying Chinese, presumably nearing the end of the schoolyear, and definitely before the summer because that is when I translated it to English and Japanese. The mega-intro dates the English translation to 12/8/12. I have found the manuscript, which I will transcribe below. The song first appears in the 18/8/12 15:27 file, with just the English translation. That one is like the below final version, except for «Don’t say that our two worlds / Are too different», which becomes what it is below in the 3/9/12 13:25 file, the previous one being 18/8/12 21:16. That 3/9 file is also where the Japanese translation first appears, in the below version. Let's see those translations!

当你说要走 我不想挥手的时候 爱情终究是一场空 谁说我俩的过去 尽在不言中 别忘了我曾拥有你 你也曾爱过我 ＃ 当你留给我 我不想接受的伤痛 爱情到头来还是梦 别说我俩的世界 有太多不同 就说你已经忘了我 你就要离开我 ＊ 谁能够告诉我 我是否付出太多 就当我从来没有过 还是消失在我心头 谁曾经提醒我 我的爱没有把握 就当我从来沒有过 还是忘了你      忘了我 ＃ ＊ ＊ 行いきたい時とき 僕ぼくは手てが振ふりたく無ない 愛あいが最後さいごに真空しんくうだ 誰だれが二人ふたりの 過去かこミュウトと言いう？ 君きみ有 あって僕ぼくを愛あい したと忘わすれない ＃貰もらいたく無ない 悲哀ひあいを与あたえる時とき 愛あいが最後さいごに夢ゆめだ 世界せかい達たちが違ちがう と言いわないで 忘わすれたから 放はなしたいと言いって ＊古代こだい誇示 こじする の？誰だれが言いえる？ もう無なかった時ときで 心こころに消きえてる 愛あいが自信じしんなと 誰だれが記しるさせた？ もう無なかった時ときで もし君きみを      僕ぼく忘 わすれ ＃ ＊ ＊

Dāng nǐ shuō yào zǒu Wǒ bù xiǎng huīshǒu de shíhou Àiqíng zhōngjiù shì yī chǎng kōng Shéi shuō wǒ liǎng de guòqù Jǐn zài bù yán zhōng Bié wàngle wǒ céng yǒngyǒu nǐ Nǐ yě céng àiguò wǒ # Dāng nǐ liú gěi wǒ Wǒ bù xiǎng jiēshòu de shāngtòng Àiqíng dàotóulái hái shì mèng Bié shuō wǒ liǎng de shìjiè Yǒu tài duō bù tóng Jiù shuō nǐ yǐjīng wàngle wǒ Nǐ jiù yào líkāi wǒ * Shéi nénggòu gàosu wǒ Wǒ shìfǒu fùchū tài duō Jiù dāng wǒ cónglái méiyǒuguò Hái shì xiāoshī zài wǒ xīntóu Shéi céngjīng tíxǐng wǒ Wǒ de ài méi yǒu bǎwò Jiù dāng wǒ cónglái méiyǒuguò Hái shì wàngle nǐ      wàngle wǒ # * * Ikitai toki Boku wa te ga furitaku nai Ai ga saigo ni shinkū da Dare ga futari no Kako myūto to iu? Kimi atte boku wo ai Shita to wasurenai Moraitaku nai Hiai wo ataeru toki Ai ga saigo ni yume da Sekaitachi ga chigau To iwanaide Wasureta kara Hanashitai itte * Kodai koji suru No? Dare ga ieru? Mô nakatta toki de Kokoro ni saeteru Ai ga jishinna to Dare ga shirusaseta? Mô nakatta toki de Moshi kimi wo      boku wasure # * *

• Manuscript
• Final

When you want to go
At tim_es ʍn I don’t want to wave
My love is empty after all
Who says that our past ended
Without any words
I don’t forget I once had you
You once felt love for me.

# When you leave to me
The sadness I dont want to take
My love is dreamtime after all
Don’t say that our two worlds
Are too different
Just say þat you’ve forgotten me
[And] So want to leave me

* Who ever can tell me
If I show too much feeling
But when I never have had you
You still vanish wiþin my heartmind
Who has reminded me
That my love had no sureness
{But when I never have had you}
If I forget meU I forget me

When you want to go,
At times when I don’t want to wave,
My love is empty after all.
Who says that our past ended
Without any words?
I don’t forget I once had you
You once felt love for me.

# When you leave to me
The sadness I don’t want to take,
My love is dreamtime after all.
Don’t say that our two worlds are
Just too different,
Just say that you’ve forgotten me,
And so want to leave me.

* Who ever can tell me
If I show too much feeling?
But when I never have had you,
You still vanish within my heart.
Who has reminded me
That my love had no sureness?
But when I never have had you,
If I forget you      I forget me.

#

*

*

More than words

The questioning theme stays up, progressing into asking for more than words to prove the authenticity of this purported love, and today we have an English song, for a change, which is More Than Words, by Extreme. I encountered this song way before I even started Chinese, when I was still in primary (uuuh… pretty sure the guitar lesson year was the first of secondary, aka first of middle school, and that guitar year was, pretty sure, the year I met the song) – and I started Chinese at the end of high school). I translated it:

1. To English on 9/3/12; more specifically:
   
   1. We have the original messy version from English class that day, the alternate forms in brackets being given in the Lucrece notebook, presumably an earlier class…
   2. … and the completed original version from the email sent to my corrector that day at 17:55;
   3. On 12/3/12, I get a reply at 18:22, giving me the corrected version; in it, the line «然后你不必说声» is a variant, which will then either go unnoticed or be suppressed, the lines «（你）对我的爱是真的» «所有（你）必须做的 / 是闭上眼，伸出你的手» «是我一直想要你展示的» get their changes either settled or suggested in the email where I metabolize the corrections, on 20/6/12 at 17:25, and the rest of the differences are possibly lost changes;
   4. The printout of the 28/7 file has the below printout version; all differences from the 28/7 file's version have to be changes made between that printout, which dates to 25/7 as per mega-intro, and the last edit on 28/7;
   5. The 28/7/12 11:01 file has the blog version except for the following four changes, all made between the 5/8/12 19:26 file and the 18/8/12 15:27 one:
      
      • 是你只必为让爱实现的 -> 是你只必做为让爱真的;
      • 此刻试图 -> 此刻试图;
      • 你所有必做的 -> 所有你必做的;
      • 是闭上眼，只摊开双手 -> 是闭上眼并摊开双手;
2. To Japanese in the summer; the 5/8 file and the 28/7 file both plan a French version, the 18/8 one gives us the below Japanese version; the 28/7 printout however has a manuscript of a romanized Japanese, given below as the printout version; this should date to 26/7 as per mega-intro.

Let's see these translations!

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy
It would be to show me how you feel
More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say
That you love me
’Cause I’d already know

What would you do
If my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say
If I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying «I love you»

More than words

Now I’ve tried to
Talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is
Close your eyes and just reach out your hands
And touch me
Hold me close don’t ever let me go
More than words
Is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn’t have to say
That you love me
’Cause I’d already know

What would you do
If my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say
If I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying «I love you»

More than words

Messy original Original Corrected Printout Final 说声我爱你 不是我从你想听的言语 […想听xiǎng tīng的…] 不就像我想要 [不 jiùxiang 我想要yào] 你不说，但 rúguǒ 你知道 […知道zhīdào] hé 何你 cú hó [你rú何hé] 觉给我看是怎么轻易 [觉jué gěi 我 kàn 是怎么zěnme qingyi] 更比词：[更geng比bǐ词cí] 你只必xū zuò 那为 shixian 它 [你只必须bǐxu - incomplete] 你就不必xū说声 你恋爱我 因我<already>知道 [8 lines left untranslated in the notebook version] 更比词 [Cǐkě 因 <tried to> 说给你和 zuò 你 néng 了jie 你只必xū bǐ上 你的目和只 <reach out your hand And touch> 我 [Missing line] 更比词： 我必只哪有你只给看它 你就不必须说声 你恋爱我 因我<already>知道 [8 lines left untranslated in the notebook version] 更比词 说声«我爱你» 不是我从你想听的言语 不就象我想要 你不说，但如果你知道 你如何 觉给我看是怎么轻易 更比词： 你只必须做那为实现它 你就不必须说声 你恋爱我 因我早已知道 我心撕得 两分，你就做什么？ 更比词为表你觉 你的爱对我是真 我带走那 言语，你就做什么？ 你就不能更新爱 只用说声«我爱你» 更比词 此刻因试了 说给你和引起你了解 你必做的一切： 闭上眼和只扩大双手 和摸我 握我紧，永远不让我去 更比词： 我哪有只已需要你表示 你就不必须说声 你恋爱我 因我早已知道 我心撕得 两分，你就做什么？ 更比词为表你觉 你的爱对我是真 我带走那 言语，你就做什么？ 你就不能更新爱 只用说声«我爱你»更比词 更比词 说声«我爱你» 不是（我）想从你那里听到的（言语） 并不是我想要 你不说，但如果你知道 让我懂 你的感受是多么容易 （在）言语（之）外 你只需要让他成为现实 然后你就不必说 你爱着我 因我早已知道 我心撕成 两瓣，你会做什么 （在）言语（之）外展示出你 （你）对我的爱是真的 我带走那 些话，你会做什么 你没有了新花样 只能说声我爱你 （在）言语（之）外 此刻我试图 和你交谈并让你明白 所有（你）必须做的 是闭上眼，伸出你的手 触摸我 握紧我，永不让我离去 （在）言语（之）外 是我一直想要你展示的 然后你不必说声 你爱着我 因我早已知道 我心撕成 两瓣，你会做什么 （在）言语（之）外展示出你 （你）对我的爱是真的 我带走那 些话，你会做什么 你没有了新花样 只能说声我爱你 （在）言语（之）外 说声«我爱你» 不是想从你那里听到的 并不是我想要 你不说, 但如果你知道 让我懂 你的感受是多么容易 言语外 你只必须做那为实现它 然后你就不必说 你恋爱我 因我早已知道 我心撕成 两半, 你就做什么? 更比词为表你觉 你的爱对我是真 我带走那 些话, 你就做什么? 你就不能更新爱 只用说声«我爱你» 言语外 此刻因试了 说给你和引起你了解 你所有必做的 是闭上眼，摊开你的手 和摸我 握我紧, 永远不让我去 言语外 我哪有只已需要你表示 然后你就不必说 你恋爱我 因我早已知道 我心撕成 两半, 你就做什么? 言语外为表你觉 你的爱对我是真 我带走那 些话, 你就做什么? 你就不能更新爱 只用说声«我爱你» 言语外 说声«我爱你» 不是想从你那里听到的 并不是我想要 你不说, 但如果你知道 让我懂 你的感受是多么容易 言语外 是你只必做为让爱真的 然后你就不必说 你恋爱我 因我早已知道 我心撕成 两瓣, 你就做什么? 言语外展示出你 觉得你真的爱我 我带走那 些话, 你就做什么? 你没有了新花样 只有说着«我爱你» 言语外 此刻试图了 和你交谈并让你明白 所有你必做的 是闭上眼并摊开双手 触摸我 握紧我, 永远不让我去 言语外 是我一直需要你表示的 然后你就不必说 你恋爱我 因我早已知道 我心撕成 两瓣, 你就做什么? 言语外展示出你 觉得你真的爱我 我带走那 些话, 你就做什么? 你没有了新花样 只有说着«我爱你» 言语外 Printout Final «愛あいし»と言いう 君きみから聞ききたいのじゃない。 君きみが言いわないの 欲ほしなくくない、君きみが只ただ、 その気き 僕ぼくに言いうの安やすい、のと知しる！ 言葉ことばより を本当ほんとうな愛あい為 ため只 ただ要いる！ 愛あいするとだから[だから moved to start with arrow] 言いい要いない、 もう知しるから。 心こころが 割く、と割*さかれれば何なんを遣やる？ 言葉ことばより、本当ほんとうな 愛あいを示しめす為ため。 その言葉ことば を持もてば、何なんを遣やる言いう？ 愛あいを書かき換かえれない 愛あいすると言いって。 言葉ことばより 君きみに話はなして と 分わからす試ためしたから、 君きみが只ただ目 め を閉とじて、手てを広ひ*ろが[っ]て、 僕ぼくを当あたて、 側そばに近ちかく保たもって、もう放はなさないで！ 言葉ことばより： 君きみが出だすの只ただ要 いった。 愛あいするとだから[だから moved to start with arrow] 言いい要いない、 もう知しるから。 心こころが 割く、と割*さかれれば何なんを遣やる？ 言葉ことばより、本当ほんとうな 愛あいを示しめす為ため。 その言葉ことば を持もてば、何なんを遣やる言いう？ 愛あいを書かき換かえれない 愛あいすると言いって。 言葉ことばより “愛あいし”と言いう 君きみから聞ききたいのじゃない。 君きみが言いわないの 欲ほしくない、君きみが只ただ、 その気き 僕ぼくに言いうの安やすい、と知しれば！ 言葉ことばより を本当ほんとうな愛あい為 ため只 ただ要いる！ だから愛あいすると 言いい要いらない、 もう知しるから。 心こころが 割さかれれば、何なんを遣やる？ 言葉ことばより、本当ほんとうな 愛あいを示しめす為ため。 その言葉ことば を持もてば、何なんを遣やる？ 愛あいを書かき換かえれない “愛あいする”と言いって。 言葉ことばより 君きみに話はなして 分わからす試ためしたから、 君きみが只ただ目 め を閉とじて、手てを広ひろがって、 僕ぼくを触さわれ、 近ちかく保たもって、もう放はなさないで！ 言葉ことばより： 君きみが出だすの只ただ要 いった。 だから愛あいすると 言いい要いらない、 もう知しるから。 心こころが 割さかれれば、何なんを遣やる？ 言葉ことばより、本当ほんとうな 愛あいを示しめす為ため。 その言葉ことば を持もてば、何なんを遣やる？ 愛あいを書かき換かえれない “愛あいする”と言いって。 言葉ことばより

Messy original Original Corrected Printout Final Shuōshēng wǒ ài nǐ Bù shì wǒ cóng nǐ xiǎng tīng de yányǔ Bù jiùxiàng wǒ xiǎngyào Nǐ bù shuō, dàn rúguǒ nǐ zhīdào Hé nǐ cú hó [Nǐ rúhé] Jué gěi wǒ kàn shì zěnme qīngyì Gèng bǐ cí: Nǐ zhǐ bì xū zuò nà wèi shixian tā Nǐ jiù bù bì xū shuōshēng Nǐ liàn'ài wǒ Yīn wǒ <already> zhīdào [8 lines left untranslated in the notebook version] Gèng bǐ cí [Cǐkě yīn <tried to> Shuō gěi nǐ hé zuò nǐ néng liǎo-jie Nǐ zhǐ bì xū bǐ shàng Nǐ de mù hé zhǐ <reach out your hand And touch> wǒ [Missing line] Gèng bǐ cí: Wǒ bì zhǐ nǎyǒu nǐ zhǐ gěi kàn tā Nǐ jiù bù bìxū shuō shēng Nǐ liàn'ài wǒ Yīn wǒ <already> zhīdào [8 lines left untranslated in the notebook version] Gèng bǐ cí Shuōshēng «wǒ ài nǐ» Bù shì wǒ cóng nǐ xiǎng tīng de yányǔ Bù jiùxiàng wǒ xiǎngyào Nǐ bù shuō, dàn rúguǒ nǐ zhīdào Nǐ rúhé Jué gěi wǒ kàn shì zěnme qīngyì Gèng bǐ cí: Nǐ zhǐ bìxū zuò nà wèi shíxiàn tā Nǐ jiù bù bìxū shuō shēng Nǐ liàn'ài wǒ Yīn wǒ zǎoyǐ zhīdào Wǒ xīn sī dé Liǎng fēn, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Gèng bǐ cí wèi biǎo nǐ jué Nǐ de ài duì wǒ shì zhēn Wǒ dài zǒu nà Yányǔ, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Nǐ jiù bù néng gēngxīn ài Zhǐ yòng shuōshēng «wǒ ài nǐ» Gèng bǐ cí Cǐkè yīn shìle Shuō gěi nǐ hé yǐnqǐ nǐ liǎojiě Nǐ bì zuò de yīqiè: Bì shàng yǎn hé zhǐ kuòdà shuāng shǒu Hé mō wǒ Wò wǒ jǐn, yǒngyuǎn bù ràng wǒ qù Gèng bǐ cí: Wǒ nǎ yǒu zhī yǐ xūyào nǐ biǎoshì Nǐ jiù bù bìxū shuō shēng Nǐ liàn'ài wǒ Yīn wǒ zǎoyǐ zhīdào Wǒ xīn sī dé Liǎng fēn, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Gèng bǐ cí wèi biǎo nǐ jué Nǐ de ài duì wǒ shì zhēn Wǒ dài zǒu nà Yányǔ, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Nǐ jiù bù néng gēngxīn ài Zhǐ yòng shuō shēng «wǒ ài nǐ» Gèng bǐ cí Shuōshēng «wǒ ài nǐ» Bù shì (wǒ) xiǎng cóng nǐ nàlǐ tīngdào de (yányǔ) Bìng bù shì wǒ xiǎng yào Nǐ bù shuō, dàn rúguǒ nǐ zhīdào Ràng wǒ dǒng Nǐ de gǎnshòu shì duōme róngyì (Zài) yányǔ (zhī) wài Nǐ zhǐ xūyào ràng tā chéngwéi xiànshí Ránhòu nǐ jiù bùbì shuō Nǐ àizhe wǒ Yīn wǒ zǎoyǐ zhīdào Wǒ xīn sī chéng Liǎng bàn, nǐ huì zuò shénme (Zài) yányǔ (zhī) wài zhǎnshì chū nǐ (Nǐ) duì wǒ de ài shì zhēn de Wǒ dài zǒu nà Xiē huà, nǐ huì zuò shénme Nǐ méiyǒule xīn huāyàng Zhǐ néng shuōshēng «wǒ ài nǐ» (Zài) yányǔ (zhī) wài Cǐkè wǒ shìtú Hé nǐ jiāotán bìng ràng nǐ míngbái Suǒyǒu (nǐ) bìxū zuò de Shì bì shàng yǎn, shēn chū nǐ de shǒu Chùmō wǒ Wò jǐn wǒ, yǒngbù ràng wǒ líqù (Zài) yányǔ (zhī) wài Shì wǒ yīzhí xiǎngyào nǐ zhǎnshì de Ránhòu nǐ bùbì shuō shēng Nǐ àizhe wǒ Yīn wǒ zǎoyǐ zhīdào Wǒ xīn sī chéng Liǎng bàn, nǐ huì zuò shénme (Zài) yányǔ (zhī) wài zhǎnshì chū nǐ (Nǐ) duì wǒ de ài shì zhēn de Wǒ dài zǒu nà Xiē huà, nǐ huì zuò shénme Nǐ méiyǒule xīn huāyàng Zhǐ néng shuōshēng «wǒ ài nǐ» (Zài) yányǔ (zhī) wài Shuōshēng «Wǒ ài nǐ» Bù shì xiǎng cóng nǐ nàlǐ tīng dào de Bìng bù shì wǒ xiǎng yào Nǐ bù shuō, dàn rúguǒ nǐ zhīdào Ràng wǒ dǒng Nǐ de gǎnshòu shì duōme róngyì Yányǔ wài Nǐ zhǐ bìxū zuò nà wèi shíxiàn tā Ránhòu nǐ jiù bùbì shuō Nǐ liàn'ài wǒ Yīn wǒ zǎoyǐ zhīdào Wǒ xīn sī chéng Liǎng bàn, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Gèng bǐ cí wèi biǎo nǐ jué Nǐ de ài duì wǒ shì zhēn Wǒ dài zǒu nà Xiē huà, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Nǐ jiù bù néng gēngxīn ài Zhǐ yòng shuō shēng «wǒ ài nǐ» Yányǔ wài Cǐkè yīn shìle Shuō gěi nǐ hé yǐnqǐ nǐ liǎojiě Nǐ suǒyǒu bì zuò de Shì bì shàng yǎn, tān kāi nǐ de shǒu Hé mō wǒ Wò wǒ jǐn, yǒngyuǎn bù ràng wǒ qù Yányǔ wài Wǒ nǎ yǒu zhǐ yǐ xūyào nǐ biǎoshì Ránhòu nǐ jiù bù bì shuō Nǐ liàn'ài wǒ Yīn wǒ zǎoyǐ zhīdào Wǒ xīn sī chéng Liǎng bàn, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Yányǔ wài wèi biǎo nǐ jué Nǐ de ài duì wǒ shì zhēn Wǒ dài zǒu nà Xiē huà, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Nǐ jiù bù néng gēngxīn ài Zhǐ yòng shuō shēng «wǒ ài nǐ» Yányǔ wài Shuō shēng «wǒ ài nǐ» Bù shì xiǎng cóng nǐ nàlǐ tīngdào de Bìng bù shì wǒ xiǎng yào Nǐ bù shuō, dàn rúguǒ nǐ zhīdào Ràng wǒ dǒng Nǐ de gǎnshòu shì duōme róngyì Yányǔ wài Shì nǐ zhǐ bì zuò wèi ràng ài zhēn de Ránhòu nǐ jiù bù bì shuō Nǐ liàn'ài wǒ Yīn wǒ zǎoyǐ zhīdào Wǒ xīn sī chéng Liǎng bàn, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Yányǔ wài zhǎnshìchū nǐ Juéde nǐ zhēn de ài wǒ Wǒ dài zǒu nà Xiē huà, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Nǐ méiyǒule xīn huāyàng Zhǐyǒu shuōzhe «wǒ ài nǐ» Yányǔ wài Cǐkè shìtúle Hé nǐ jiāotán bìng ràng nǐ míngbái Suǒyǒu nǐ bì zuò de Shì bì shàng yǎn bìng tān kāi shuāng shǒu Chùmō wǒ Wò jǐn wǒ, yǒngyuǎn bù ràng wǒ qù Yányǔ wài Shì wǒ yīzhí xūyào nǐ biǎoshì de Ránhòu nǐ jiù bùbì shuō Nǐ liàn'ài wǒ Yīn wǒ zǎoyǐ zhīdào Wǒ xīn sī chéng Liǎng bàn, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Yányǔ wài zhǎnshìchū nǐ Juéde nǐ zhēn de ài wǒ Wǒ dài zǒu nà Xiē huà, nǐ jiù zuò shénme? Nǐ méiyǒule xīn huāyàng Zhǐyǒu shuōzhe «wǒ ài nǐ» Yányǔ wài Printout Final «Ai shi» to iu Kimi kara kikitai no janai Kimi ga iwanai no Hosshi nakukunai, kimi ga tada, Sono ki Boku ni iu no yasui, noto shiru Kotoba yori Wo hontōna ai tame tada iru! Aisuru to dakara [arrow moves d. to start] Ii inai, Mō shiru kara Kokoro ga Saku, toBakarerebanan wo yaru? Kotoba yori, hontōna Ai wo shimesu tame. Sono kotoba Wo moteba, nan wo yaruiu? Ai wo kakikaerenai Aisuru to itte. Kotoba yori Kimi ni hanashite to Wakarasu tameshita kara, Kimi ga tada me Wo tojite te wo hiragate, Boku wo atate, Soba niChikaku tamotte, mō hanasanaide! Kotoba yori: Kimi ga dasu no tada ita Aisuru to dakara [arrow moves d. to start] Ii inai, Mō shiru kara Kokoro ga Saku, toBakarerebanan wo yaru? Kotoba yori, hontōna Ai wo shimesu tame. Sono kotoba Wo moteba, nan wo yaruiu? Ai wo kakikaerenai Aisuru to itte. Kotoba yori "Ai shi" to iu Kimi kara kikitai no ja nai. Kimi ga iwanai no Hoshiku nai, kimi ga tada, Sono ki Boku ni iu no yasui, to shireba! Kotoba yori Wo hontôna ai tame tada iru! Dakara ai suru to Ii iranai, Mô shiru kara. Kokoro ga Sakarereba, nan wo yaru? Kotoba yori, hontôna Ai wo shimesu tame. Sono kotoba Wo moteba, nan wo yaru? Ai wo kakikaerenai "Ai suru" to itte. Kotoba yori. Kimi ni hanashite Wakarasu tameshita kara, Kimi ga tada me Wo tojite, te wo hirogatte, Boku wo saware, Chikaku tamotte, mô hanasanaide! Kotoba yori: Kimi ga dasu no tada itta. Dakara ai suru to Ii iranai, Mô shiru kara. Kokoro ga Sakarereba, nan wo yaru? Kotoba yori, hontôna Ai wo shimesu tame. Sono kotoba Wo moteba, nan wo yaru? Ai wo kakikaerenai "Ai suru" to itte. Kotoba yori.

How do I know you love me?

We keep our questioning theme today with a Mandarin song and its Cantonese version, both titled 我如何知道你爱我 | Wǒ rúhé zhīdào nǐ ài wǒ | Ngo5 jyu4-ho4 zi1-dou3 nei5 ngoi3 ngo5, which translates to this post's title. «Both met shortly before Christmas 2011 and translated during the Christmas holidays. The Mandarin song is translated to French too, probably that summer, when I was filling the columns in my file. By the way, my file suggests I found the Cantonese version before the Mandarin version, or that I translated them in that order», the post used to say. «Sssso… I can find no evidence of a musical translation during the holidays. I did make a literal one, which I sent to my corrector on 9/1/12, and then insisted about sometime in Feb because he'd forgotten about both songs. Unless there is a translation lurking around in some notebook, waiting to be copied, this leads me to the conclusion that the translations were either in files lost to a broken hard disk (which would seem very weird: why conserve a transcription attempt of captions and not a musical translation of the same song?), or not made back then. Indeed, if we look at the files, we see a very out-of-date 28/7/12 11:01 file where both songs are left with holes for the translation. I hope to find the printout of that file, which, if it contained handwritten translations of these songs, would confirm they were (re)made in July, or possibly all the way on 3 4 or 5 of August 2012», I wrote. And then I found both the printout and the notebook with the translations. OK, so let's put some order into this:

1. Starting from the Cantonese song;
   
   1. The Science notebook, in the 11/1 lesson, presented the translation on the left; note also the version «That endless, sideless, dark night so allow / To drown me full», written and immediately rejected on 30/1 in sci q, just after the 30/1 sci q variant here, which I somehow miscopied as «That sideless, endless, obscure night allow / To drown me full» 15/6/22 14:44, both versions I will not implement, because the former is terrible and the latter omits the "so" found in the Chinese;
   2. The printout actually acknowledges this, marking its own version as «11/1 hora ʃi» (11/1 during Science class), and largely modifying the sci q version, getting to the Printout version on the right;
   3. The 5/8/12 19:26 file has the final translation, with a different part «I’m now the one man / Wand’ring this sky-corner», which becomes the below version between a 8/5/13 22:08 file and a 9/7/13 12:22 file;
2. As for the Chinese one:
   
   1. The science notebook's translation is missing the first two lines, which I will integrate from the other science notebook translation, and seems to have forgotten about the second line of the chorus, identifying it with the fifth one; it was done on 11/1, right after the Cantonese-English one;
   2. Well actually, there is some more stuff on 25/1, precisely a second version, with errors corrected, which shall have to count as a lost translation, thus making for a split timeline;
   3. The printout marks this as «11/1 after cant[onese], skipped 1st 2 lines þen, swapped x [l. 2 of chorus] wi' y [l. 5 of it] and skipped x», and makes a few modifications, landing us on the Printout version below; it also has French, surprisingly, in the below form save for «s'intersectent» ending l. 1, «Est-ce qu'y a» in l. 4 then changed to «a-t-il un», «toute cendre» in l. 5, «Que j'sois déchirer» in l. 6, «Comme peut-il se délivrer» for the final line of section 1, «Ne m' fait n'exister pas» in the last line before the "chorus";
   4. The 5/8/12 19:26 file contains Final English version, and a hole for the French; the 18/8/12 15:27 file contains the final French version.

Let's see them!

总是在爱恨交错时候 才了解世间冷暖起落 心里最深最深的伤口 有谁能够让它愈合 在希望燃成灰烬以后 让自己撕裂在狂野风中 锁链缠绕的心灵 要如何才能解脱 问你是不是在意我的感受 不要让我连明天都没有 我如何知道你爱我 心中的话没有机会诉说 万家灯火哪一盏属于我 我如何知道你爱我 心中的话究竟有谁能懂 就让那无边无际的黑夜 淹没了我 Sci q Sci q 2 Printout Final [Each time when love and hate do criss-cross, The world’s mood-change I can comprehend.] In my heart there’s a deep, so deep wound, Is there one who can make it heal? When all my hope to ashes has burnt, Let me be scattered inside a wild wind. My poor heart’s all full wrapped in chains: How can it itself befree? Do you or don’t you for my feelings have care? Don’t let me not exist tomorrow too! How do I know that you love me? Have my heart's words Can a person understand my heart’s words? Which of those dazzling lights belongs to me? How do I know that you love me? [Can a person understand my heart’s words?] So let that sideless, endless, obscure night Wrap me, me drown. At all times Each time when love and hate do criss-cross, The->Each world's mood-changes I can comprehend In my heart there’s a deep, so deep wound, Is there one who can make it heal? When all my hope to ashes has burnt, Let me be scattered inside a wild wind. My poor heart’s all wrapped in chains: How can it itself befree? Do you or don’t you for my feelings have care? Don’t make me not exist tomorrow too! How do I know that you love me? My heart's words will never have expression Which of these dazzling lights belongs to me? How do I know that you love me? Can a person understand my heart’s words? So let that sideless, endless, obscure night Wrap me, me drown. All times, when love and hate intersect, The world’s mood-changes I understand. In my 心[=heart] þere’s a deep, so d. wound, Is þere one ʍo can mk it heal? ʍen all my hope to aʃes hs burnt, Let me be scattered inside a wild wind. My poor heart’s all wrapped in chains: How can it itself befree? Do U or don’t U care about my feelings? Don’t let me not ∃ tomorrow too! How do I know þt U luv me? My heart's words… No occasion to express m. h.’s w.! ʍich o' þese dazzlin' lights beloŋs to me? How do I know þt U luv me? Can a person understand my heart’s words? So let þat sideless endless, obscure night Wrap me, me drown. All times, when love and hate intersect, The world’s mood-changes I understand. In my heart there’s a deep, so deep wound, Is there one who can make it heal? When all my hope to ashes has burnt, Let me be torn up inside a wild wind. My poor heart’s all wrapped in chains: How can it itself befree? Do you or don’t you care about my feelings? Don’t make me not exist tomorrow too! How do I know that you love me? No occasion to espress my heart’s words! Which of those dazzling lights belongs to me? How do I know that you love me? Can somebody understand my heart’s words? So let that endless sideless obscure night Wrap me, me drown. * 夜间的星星不必再数 内心的哭声不必再吐 用我最真最深的倾诉 愿意搏取她的欢心 谁知她竟得轻轻笑声 回身她只得沉默的一句 无奈她说不可以 谁知道她竟推托 # 如今只得我 流浪天边一角 谁人能给我温暖的感觉 人间的恋爱多变幻 问那悲哀为何偏偏选我 问天雨风哪一方属于我 @ 愿天边的野草笑望 望那可悲可笑可欺的我 回身倒扑在黑夜全为妳 欺骗了我 * # @ @（到了“全为妳”） @ * The number of night-time stars may change, My heart's cries may not once more come out. With my most true, most deep confession I will fight so that she like me. Who knew she did in fact gently laugh? She could but backwards turn in full silence She must tell that she cannot. Who knew she made up excuses? # I am the only Crossing this sky-corner. Who can a warm warm feeling give to me? The world’s loves do so often change: Why does sadness thus me insist on choosing? Is’t wind, rain, or sky that belongs to me? Sky-wilderness, do look on me, So ridiculous, pathetic, cheated! I turn and fall on dark night, all ’cause you Have cheated me. * # @ @ (up to all ’cause you) @

Zǒngshì zài ài hèn jiāocuò shíhou Cái liǎojiě shìjiān lěngnuǎn qǐluò Xīn lǐ zuì shēn zuì shēn de shāngkǒu Yǒu shéi nénggòu ràng tā yùhé Zài xīwàng rán chéng huījìn yǐhòu Ràng zìjǐ sīliè zài kuángyě fēng zhōng Suǒliàn chánrào de xīnlíng Yào rúhé cáinéng jiětuō Wèn nǐ shì bù shì zàiyì wǒ de gǎnshòu Bù yào ràng wǒ lián míngtiān dōu méi yǒu Wǒ rúhé zhīdào nǐ ài wǒ Xīn zhōng de huà méi yǒu jīhuì sùshuō Wànjiā-dēnghuǒ nǎ yī zhǎn shǔyú wǒ Wǒ rúhé zhīdào nǐ ài wǒ Xīn zhōng de huà jiùjìng yǒu shéi néng dǒng Jiù ràng nà wúbiān-wújì de hēiyè Yānmòle wǒ Toujours, si amour et haine se rencontrent, J’ comprends les changes d’humeur de ce monde. Dans mon cœur j’ai une plaie profonde : Est-ce qu’il y a qui la peut guérir ? Quand mon espoir sera tout en cendre, Que j’ sois déchiré dans un sauvage vent. Tout chaîné, mon pauvre cœur Comment peut-il s’ délivrer ? Est-ce qu’il t’importe ou pas de c’ que je sens ? Ne m’ fait exister pas demain aussi ! Comment est-ce que je sais qu’ tu m’aimes ? Les mots d’ mon cœur, je peux pas les dire ! De ces lumières, quelle appartient à moi ? Comment est-ce que je sais qu’ tu m’aimes ? Les mots d’ mon cœur, qui peut les comprendre ? Alors laisse que cette nuit qui n’a pas d’ fin Me noye et tue. * Je6-gaan1 dik1 sing1-sing1 bat1 bit1 zoi3 sou3 Noi6-sam1 dik1 huk1-sing1 bat1 bit1 zoi3 tou3 Jung6 ngo5 zeoi3 zan1 zeoi3 sam1 dik1 king1-sou3 Jun6-ji3 bok3 ceoi2 ta1 dik1 fun1-sam1 Seoi4 zi1 ta1 ging2 dak1 hing1-hing1 siu3-sing1 Wui4-san1 ta1 zi2 dak1 cam4-mak6 dik1 jat1-geui3 Mou4-noi6 ta1 syut3 bat1 ho2-ji5 Seoi4 zi1-dou3 ta1 ging2 teui1-tok3 # Ju4-gam1 zi2 dak1 ngo5 Lau4-long6 tin1-bin1 jat1-gok3 Seoi4-yan4 nang4 kap1 ngo5 wan1-nyun5 dik1 gam2-gok3 Yan4-gaan1 dik1 lyun2-ngoi3 do1 bin3-waan6 Man6 na5 bei1-oi1 wai6-ho4 pin1-pin1 syun2 ngo5 Man5 tin1 ju5 fung1 na5 jat1-fong1 suk6-ju1/4 ngo5 @ Jun6 tin1-bin1 dik1 je5-cou2 siu3-mong6 Mong6 na5 ho2-bei1 ho2-siu3 ho2-hei1 dik1 ngo5 Wui4-san1 dou2 pok3 zoi6 hak1-ye6 cyun4 wai6 nei5 Hei1-pin3-liu5 ngo5 * # @ @ (dou3-liu5 “chyun4 wai6 nei5”) @ Printout Final * You I need not count night-time stars once more, I need not spit my heart's tears once more. Wiþ my most true, most deep confession I will fight so þat she lk me. ʍo knew ʃe did in fact gently laugh? ʃe cld bt turn backwards -> backwards turn around in full silence She just says ʃe can’t: þat’s all ʃe quibbled in fact: ʍo knew? # I am þe only Crossing Wand'ring þis sky-corner ʍo can a warm w. feelin' give to me? Þe world’s loves do so often change ʍy does sadness me insist on choosing? Is’t wind, rain or sky þat beloŋs to me? Sky-wilderness, now look on me, So ridiculous, pathetic, cheated! I turn & fall on dark night, all ’cause you Have cheated me. * # @ @ (up to all ’cause you) @ * I need not count night-time stars again I need not spit my heart's tears again With my most true most deep confession I will fight so that she like me. Who knew she actually gently laughed? She can just turn around in full silence She just says she can’t: that’s all She quibbled in fact: who knew? # I now can only Wander this sky-corner Who can a warm warm feeling give to me? The world’s loves do so often change Why does sadness me insist on choosing? Is’t wind rain or sky that belongs to me? Sky-wilderness, now look on me, So ridiculous, pathetic, cheated! I turn to fall on dark night, all ’cause you Have cheated me. * # @ @ (up to all ’cause you) @